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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Losing English Patience

    | OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Language & Words, Math & Science, School

    (I work at a sandwich shop across the street from a high school. I serve a lot of teachers who come over here for lunch.)

    Me: “You want a turkey on white with tomato? That’s [price].”

    Customer #1: “Oh, and can I have a bottle of water?”

    Me: “‘Course!”

    Customer #1: *scoffs* “I can’t believe you just said that. As an English teacher, I think I should tell you that saying that isn’t proper English.”

    Me: *not sure what to say* “Um… sorry?”

    Customer #1: “There you go again! Those are fragments, not complete sentences! All the other teachers who come in here would be ashamed.”

    (The customer behind her speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, well, I’m a math teacher, and trust me, we don’t care.”

    Running Onion Rings Around Common Sense

    , | Eagle River, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money

    (At our store, ordering a combo will always be cheaper than ordering the three items separately. This applies for all sides, not just fries. Our menu and prices reflect this, and most people have no problem understanding.)

    Customer: “I’d like a number three combo, but with onion rings instead of fries.”

    Me: “No problem. That’ll be [price].”

    (The customer gets his food to go, pays, and then demands to talk to me when he sees his receipt.)

    Me: “What’s the trouble, sir?”

    Customer: “I was supposed to pay an dollar for those rings!”

    Me: “No, sir. If you’ll notice our prices, you ordered the combo meal, which means the onion rings are cheaper than if you’d ordered them separately.”

    (I point out the two different prices, clearly labelled as ‘alone’ and ‘replacing fries’. However, he barely glances at where I’m pointing.)

    Customer: “Your menu is misleading!”

    Me: “I’m sorry if you thought that sir, but you are paying for a dollar cheaper than if you’d—”

    Customer: “I want to see the manager!”

    (The manager has been listening this whole time, and comes over. He tells the customer the exact same thing I’ve been telling him.)

    Customer: “Well… your prices are still misleading! I can’t believe I paid this!”

    Manager: “Sir, I’m sorry you feel that way, but as my employee has been telling you, our prices are clearly listed, and you actually saved money by getting the combo. I honestly don’t see the problem here.”

    Customer: “The problem is that your prices are misleading!”

    (He takes his food and storms out. The manager just shrugs and makes to return to his office, but an eat-in customer steps up to the counter.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me, folks? I want to register a complaint against you!”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer #2: *smiles* “I want to complain because I’m actually saving money, and you’re giving me a good deal!”

    Causing Infractions

    | Iowa, USA | Math & Science, Top

    (I work in a grocery store meat department. I’m helping a customer who is wanting items packaged specifically, like six steaks in two packages of three. She has been talking to me with a very condescending tone like I’m stupid. I am a science major in college.)

    Customer: “Can I get two packages of four rib eyes?”

    (I wrap the steaks in two packages and give them to her.)

    Customer: “You can add, subtract, and multiply, but can you divide?”

    Me: “I can divide, differentiate, integrate, and do logarithms, just to name some of what I can do.”

    (Her face goes pale and her tone completely changes the rest of the time I have to deal with her. She leaves in a hurry.)

    Causing Infractions With Customers

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Customer: “Give me about half pound of the all-beef salami.”

    Me: “Sure thing, ma’am.”

    (I slice up the salami. I’m usually pretty good at eyeballing the weight of a product, but when I put the sliced salami on the scale, it’s pretty underweight.)

    Customer: “I think that will be enough. Is that less than a half pound?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s about four-tenths.”

    (The customer gives me a blank look.)

    Me: “Four-tenths of a pound.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what that means.”

    (The customer looks to her husband for help, but he looks as perplexed as she does and just shrugs.)

    Customer: “Are you sure it’s less than half a pound?”

    Me: “I’m positive, ma’am.”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “A half is five-tenths, right? Four-tenths is less than five-tenths.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

    Me: “Okay, uh, well… what’s worth less, forty cents or fifty cents?”

    Customer: “There’s no way all that salami only costs fifty cents!”

    (She did eventually buy the four-tenths of a pound of salami at the listed price, though I doubt either she or her husband were convinced it was less than half a pound.)

    Some People Just Don’t Like Change

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Math & Science, Money

    (The customer’s total is $12.84. She hands me a $20 bill. While I’m counting out her change of $7.16, she hands me a quarter.)

    Me: *confused* “Uh, thanks. But that’s not really necessary.”

    (I set the quarter on the counter so she can take it back while I finish gathering her change.)

    Customer: “No, it’s okay. It makes it easier.”

    Me: “Oh, well, I appreciate the intention, ma’am, but it was 84 cents due, so a quarter doesn’t really make a difference. I’d just be handing your quarter right back to you.”

    Customer: *condescending* “Well, I was just trying to make it easier, but if you want to complicate it, that’s up to you.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t see how I’m complicating things. I owe you 16 cents. If I take your quarter, I’ll owe you 41 cents, which is just a quarter plus sixteen cents.”

    Customer: “Just give me my change! I was just trying to help you out! You obviously need to go back to school!” *storms out, leaving her quarter on the counter*

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