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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Not Two Bright

    | Texas, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I work in a Mexican restaurant where I host and take to-go orders. We have a special on the menu where you can get a plate of 1-4 items (a dollar more for each item added) starting off at $9.49. A regular calls in her order.)

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [restaurant]. This is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I want two of your lunch specials. I want two beef tacos on one plate and one beef taco and one beef enchilada on the other plate.”

    Me: “Alright, on the first plate did you want two crispy beef tacos or soft?”

    Customer: “Uhm, one crispy and one soft.”

    Me: “Alright, and on the second plate did you want a soft beef taco or crispy?

    Customer: *gets irritated* “UGH! CRISPY!”

    Me: “Okie dokie, and what kinda sauce on the enchilada?”

    Customer: “Queso. Now, can you repeat my order back so I can make sure you got it right?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I have a Combo #2 with two beef tacos, one crispy and one soft. Then I have another Combo #2 with one beef crispy taco and one beef enchilada with queso on top.”

    Customer: “NO! I said TWO lunch specials!”

    Me: *confused* “Yes ma’am, two combos on our lunch menu, right?”

    Customer: “NO! I want two crispy beef tacos on one, two soft beef tacos on another, and one beef crispy taco and one beef enchilada on the other!”

    Me: “So, you want three lunch specials?”

    Customer: “NO! I want TWO!”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, two plates.”

    I re-write the order and repeat back her new order. She’s satisfied, so I ring up the three plates as opposed to two.)

    Me: “Alrighty, your food should be ready in the next 15 minutes or so!”

    Customer: “Okay!” *hangs up*

    (15 minutes later, the customer arrives to pick up her order.)

    Customer: “It was just the hardest having you take my order, missy!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. You kept saying you wanted two plates when really it was three.”

    Customer: “BECAUSE IT IS TWO! GOD!”

    Me: “Alright, your total will be [price].”

    (She pays, and I hand her her bag.)

    Customer: *pulls out the boxes* “SEE?! TWO!” *happily walks out the door*

    (The customer was holding three boxes.)

    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 4

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (An older visitor and his wife approach me at a public swimming pool.)

    Visitor: “How deep is your pool?”

    Me: “It ranges from 3 feet to 12 feet.”

    Visitor: “So the water surface isn’t level?!”

    Me: “No, the water gradually gets deeper, but the surface of the water stays level.”

    Visitor: “That can’t be right! If the water is deeper in some areas than others, the surface can’t be level!”

    (Unsure of how to explain it without sounding patronizing, I tell him to just go look at the water. A few minutes later, he leaves without a word. His wife follows.)

    Visitor’s Wife: *laughing* “I think he gets it now…”

    Related:
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 3
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 2
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End

    Dispense With The Pedantries

    | Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    Me: “Hello, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was in here yesterday and picked up a liquid allergy medication for my dog.”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “You didn’t give me the right syringe to give it to them.”

    (The customer places a bottle of medication and a plastic 3CC syringe on the counter. I pick up the the syringe and the bottle, which instructs the owner to give 5CC’s orally, three times per day. I test the syringe to make sure that it’s working properly.)

    Me: “I’m sorry miss, but what problem do you seem be having with this?”

    Customer: “Can’t you see that the instructions say to give 5CC’s per day?!”

    Me: “I can see that.”

    Customer: “Then why did you only give me a 3CC dispenser?”

    Me: “Well, we don’t have any 5CC syringes. You’re supposed to fill the syringe up to the 3CC mark, dispense it, and then give another 2CCs.”

    Customer: “But that’s not 5CCs.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “That just isn’t going to work! 3CC’s plus 2CC’s isn’t 5CC’s!”

    (I decide not to argue with her, so I go back into the back and grab another 3CC syringe.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about the mix up. The doctor is very sorry. He says to give the dog the first syringe clear full. Then, fill this new syringe up to the 2CC mark, and dispense that orally.”

    Customer: “Well, why couldn’t you have done that in the first place?!”

    A Few Slices Short Of A Pie

    | Mississippi, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I am taking an order over the phone. The caller has never ordered here before and isn’t familiar with the menu.)

    Caller: “How many slices are on your 12 inch?”

    Me: “8.”

    Caller: “What about your 18 inch?”

    Me: “8.”

    Caller: “I thought the 12 inch had 8 slices.”

    Me: “It does. They both have 8 slices.”

    Caller: “How is that possible? If they both have 8 slices, shouldn’t they be the same size?”

    Me: “No, miss. The slices are just different sizes. The number of slices doesn’t make the size of the pizza. They both have 8 slices, but the 18 inch has much bigger slices.”

    Caller: “Oh. Right. Can you cut it twice, to make the slices smaller?”

    Me: “Of course. We can double cut it for you.”

    Caller: “So, how many slices would that be? What, 12?”

    Me: “16.”

    Caller: “No. If you normally have 8 slices, and you cut them twice, it should be 12 pieces, not 16.”

    Me: “It’s 16, Miss. 8 times 2 is 16.”

    Caller: “Whatever…I don’t think so. You have wings?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “What sizes?”

    Me: “8, 12, 18, 24, and 50.”

    Caller: “Oh, alright. I’ll take a 10 piece.”

    Me: “We have an 8 piece and a 12 piece.”

    Caller: “No, I said a 10 piece.”

    Me: “I know…we don’t have a 10 piece, but we do have an 8 piece or a 12 piece.”

    Caller: “I’m pretty sure you have a 10 piece. My sister said she always gets a ten piece. Are you new? Maybe you should check the menu!”

    Me: “I’ve worked here for 3 years. We’ve never had a 10 piece and I’m looking at the menu on the computer right now. 8 or 12?”

    Caller: “Fine. 12!”

    You’re Just Shorting Yourself

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (On this day, we are selling cups of tall coffee for a quarter to celebrate our 25th anniversary in Canada.)

    Customer #1: “One short dark coffee.”

    Me: “Oh, today is your lucky day! A tall coffee is a quarter, so let me get you a bigger cup of coffee for less money!”

    Customer #1: “I want a short.”

    Me: “Well, a short is 8 oz at $1.74 after tax, but a tall is 12 oz at $0.28 after tax—today only.”

    Customer #1: “Don’t cheat me! I don’t want more coffee!”

    Me: “But it costs less…maybe I could charge you for a tall and just fill it half way?”

    Customer #1: “Stop your trickery and give me what I want. You are trying to rip me off!”

    Me: “Okay. One short coffee…that’s $1.74.”

    Customer #1: “Thank you. Was that so freaking hard?!”

    (The customer walks away, and the next customer approaches.)

    Customer #2: “So, let me get this straight: I can get like four coffees for the price of a short?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, that’s a great deal! I’ll get four!”

    (Hearing this, Customer #1 turns back to the counter, enraged.)

    Customer #1: “You’re giving him FOUR?! You’re playing favorites, you b****!”

    Me: *shocked*

    Customer #2: “How much do you hate your job right now?”


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