Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
    (2,061 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    Paying Fool Price

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    Me: “…and your total comes to $10.28.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t. I bought two shirts.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but today is a buy 1, get 1 free sale on all women’s apparel.”

    Customer: “Is this some sort of scheme? Because I’m not gonna pay unless I pay for both! I ain’t falling for no scheme!”

    Me: “Miss, I can assure you that today is a a buy 1, get 1 free sale.”

    Customer: *throws down a $20 and a $1 and storms out of the store*

    Water You, Dense

    , | Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

    (I’m working the front counter. A customer comes inside carrying one of our large cups of soda. She pushes past several other customers who are waiting in line and slams the cup down onto the counter.)

    Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru and they f***ed up my order yet again! It’s not that hard, so I don’t know why you idiots can’t handle it.”

    Me: “Sorry about that. What were you missing?”

    Customer: “Nothing! It’s my drink! I ordered a large Diet Coke with the ice on the bottom.”

    (She rips the lid off of the cup. As one would expect from any soda currently obeying the laws of physics, the ice is floating on the top.)

    Customer: “What does that look like to you?!”

    Me: “Well, it looks like the ice is floating on the top.”

    Customer: “Exactly! You’re going to dump this out and remake it, with the ice on the bottom this time!”

    Me: “I’m not sure that’s possible. Ice floats, ma’am. I can’t make it stay on the bottom of the cup.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? Just put the ice in the bottom of the cup.”

    Me: “But when I fill it with soda, the ice is going to float up to the top anyway. It’s just how it works.”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Just make it work.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, maybe I’m just not understanding you. If you could just show me over at the self-serve drink station, I can tell everyone else how to do it properly next time.”

    (The customer storms over to the station and empties her cup. She proceeds to fill the cup with ice, casting me smug looks over her shoulder, and then dispenses soda into the cup. When it is full, she looks down at the cup in disbelief. The customer dumps out her soda and makes another attempt. After three or four tries, she finally caps the cup again and walks out of the store, avoiding eye contact with me.)

    Teachers Make A Difference

    , | Sydney, Australia | Math & Science

    (I’m working in the drive-thru, and am taking customer’s orders and their money. His daughter is sitting in the passenger’s seat.)

    Me: “So, that’ll be $28.10. Thanks!”

    (The customer hands me $50.10.)

    Customer: “So, how much change do I get?”

    Me: “$22.”

    Customer: “You cheated! That was an easy one! Sorry, I’m a maths teacher.”

    Me: *laughs* “Oh, that’s alright. But it’s the school holidays!”

    Customer: “Maths doesn’t take holidays!”

    Me: “You’re right. Well, enjoy the rest of your holidays!”

    Customer’s Daughter: *looks very embarrassed* “Sorry, he does this everywhere we go!”

    Not Two Bright

    | Texas, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I work in a Mexican restaurant where I host and take to-go orders. We have a special on the menu where you can get a plate of 1-4 items (a dollar more for each item added) starting off at $9.49. A regular calls in her order.)

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [restaurant]. This is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I want two of your lunch specials. I want two beef tacos on one plate and one beef taco and one beef enchilada on the other plate.”

    Me: “Alright, on the first plate did you want two crispy beef tacos or soft?”

    Customer: “Uhm, one crispy and one soft.”

    Me: “Alright, and on the second plate did you want a soft beef taco or crispy?

    Customer: *gets irritated* “UGH! CRISPY!”

    Me: “Okie dokie, and what kinda sauce on the enchilada?”

    Customer: “Queso. Now, can you repeat my order back so I can make sure you got it right?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I have a Combo #2 with two beef tacos, one crispy and one soft. Then I have another Combo #2 with one beef crispy taco and one beef enchilada with queso on top.”

    Customer: “NO! I said TWO lunch specials!”

    Me: *confused* “Yes ma’am, two combos on our lunch menu, right?”

    Customer: “NO! I want two crispy beef tacos on one, two soft beef tacos on another, and one beef crispy taco and one beef enchilada on the other!”

    Me: “So, you want three lunch specials?”

    Customer: “NO! I want TWO!”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, two plates.”

    I re-write the order and repeat back her new order. She’s satisfied, so I ring up the three plates as opposed to two.)

    Me: “Alrighty, your food should be ready in the next 15 minutes or so!”

    Customer: “Okay!” *hangs up*

    (15 minutes later, the customer arrives to pick up her order.)

    Customer: “It was just the hardest having you take my order, missy!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. You kept saying you wanted two plates when really it was three.”

    Customer: “BECAUSE IT IS TWO! GOD!”

    Me: “Alright, your total will be [price].”

    (She pays, and I hand her her bag.)

    Customer: *pulls out the boxes* “SEE?! TWO!” *happily walks out the door*

    (The customer was holding three boxes.)

    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 4

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (An older visitor and his wife approach me at a public swimming pool.)

    Visitor: “How deep is your pool?”

    Me: “It ranges from 3 feet to 12 feet.”

    Visitor: “So the water surface isn’t level?!”

    Me: “No, the water gradually gets deeper, but the surface of the water stays level.”

    Visitor: “That can’t be right! If the water is deeper in some areas than others, the surface can’t be level!”

    (Unsure of how to explain it without sounding patronizing, I tell him to just go look at the water. A few minutes later, he leaves without a word. His wife follows.)

    Visitor’s Wife: *laughing* “I think he gets it now…”

    Related:
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 3
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 2
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End


    Page 14/26First...1213141516...Last