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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    A Softened Approach To Mathematics

    | Columbia, SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I have just finished setting up a display of fabric softener liquid and sheets. A customer approaches me and gestures to the price sign.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but is everything on this display two for $5?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. That sign is for the liquid. The fabric softener sheets are only $1.99.”

    Customer: “But the sign says they are two for $5!”

    Me: “That’s for these items. But the sheets are only—”

    Customer: “That’s what the sign says, and that is the price I want them for.”

    Me: “Let me get this straight. You want me to charge you more for these items?”

    Customer: “No, I want you to give them to me for the price you have advertised them for.”

    (She pauses abruptly, looking down at the phone where she had been fiddling with her calculator app. She realizes her error.)

    Customer: “Oh, I am so embarrassed!”

    Me: “It’s okay! Enjoy your two for $3.98 fabric softener sheets!”

    Barking Up All The Trees

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Math & Science

    (I’m working in a garden center.)

    Customer: “Hey, lady! Do you know something about plants?”

    (I have a diploma in gardening, and been working here for five years.)

    Me: “Yes, a lot actually.”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a very specific plant. It’s very unique and it has flowers! And you have to feed it with water also!”

    Me: “Okay… can you—”

    Customer: “It’s kind of big also!”

    Me: “Can you gave me a little bit more specification on that plant?”

    Customer: “It has green leaves!”

    Green-Fingered When It Comes To Painting

    | AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Math & Science

    (An extremely irate customer approaches me with a can of paint that has barely any product left in it.)

    Customer: “You guys made a mistake! I want my money back right now!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “This paint made my walls green! If I wanted green, I would have purchased green!”

    (I take the nearly-empty can of paint, and pry off the lid. Inside, the color showing is a vivid, aqua-marine blue.)

    Me: “Hmm. Let me check this out for you.”

    (The customer smugly smiles and puts her hands on her hips. I grab a wooden paint stirrer and scrape the bottom of the can. I look at the stick, and see that there is a very vivid, aqua-marine blue at the base of the stick.)

    Me: “Ma’am, did you put any primer on your walls before you painted them?”

    Customer: “No! I just painted over the color that was already there!”

    Me: “Of course. And, can you please tell me the color of the original wall?”

    Customer: “It was yellow.”

    Me: “And yellow, plus blue, makes?”

    Customer: “Gree—oh…”

    Me: “May I help you with a selection of primers?”

    Putting Yourself Into An Awkward Superposition

    | West Lafayette, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Math & Science, Top

    (I’m studying physics at a major university. I work at an ice cream store, and when we don’t have anything to do I usually do my reading for physics. A customer walks up to the counter to get a spoon, and then sees one of the diagrams in my physics book.)

    Customer: “Oh, you’re reading a picture book. I’m glad you found something that you’re smart enough to read. What’s it about?”

    Me: “String theory and theoretical quantum physics.”

    Customer: *long pause*

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; should I use smaller words? Maybe I could draw you a picture?”

    Customer: *quietly* “May I please have a spoon?”

    Water Is A Force(Field) Of Nature

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in a small outdoors store. Most of our customers are total gear-heads and know almost as much about the product as we do. A well-dressed man who looks to be in his sixties walks in, stansd in front of the cash register, and announces loudly that he needs a new coat as “the rain kept getting in” his old one. I proceed to speak to him for about an hour. Despite English appearing to be his first language, he doesn’t seem to understand the term ‘waterproof’.”

    Me: “This is another good option over here, totally waterproof and seam-sealed. It’s from [brand]. I guarantee the rain won’t get in it.”

    Customer: “So, the rain won’t get in this one?”

    Me: “Not at all.”

    Customer: “It won’t get in? Not even a little bit?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Even through the top?”

    Me: “Well… not if you put the hood up.”

    Customer: *nods curtly and smiles* “I see. So you’re sure the rain won’t go through this one?”

    Me: “No, it’s waterproof. The rain won’t go through.”

    Customer: “So…” *looks as if a light bulb just went off* “Does the rain touch the jacket at all?”

    Coworker: *who has heard the whole exchange* “Sir, it’s a rain jacket, not a force field.”


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