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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    In Hot Soup Now

    | The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We serve our soup in big round fancy bowls where the edge is raised on only one side.)

    Customer: “Excuse me! Miss, I have a complaint. I’m afraid I did not receive a full bowl of soup. You see, it’s only half full.”

    (I look at her bowl and see that it is in fact filled for as much as the bowl allows. You could not possibly fill the bowl with more soup, because it would spill over on one side.)

    Me: “Ma’am, it seems that your bowl is completely filled. What exactly do you mean?”

    Customer: “Look! Look at this side of the bowl! There’s no soup here. It’s false advertising. Why would you have a bowl this large and high and not fill it all the way?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking me to change the law of physics for you?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Fractionally More Stupid

    | Greenville, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I have recently started working in the deli of a grocery store.)

    Me: “Hello. How are you today, miss?”

    Customer: “Hi, I would like some [Brand] ham please.”

    Me: “Sure, and how much of the [Brand] ham would you like?”

    Customer: *thinking* “Um… I’ll take about a quarter — no! I’ll take less than that. I want more than a third of a pound, but no more than one quarter pound!”

    (I tried my best not to laugh at the fact that a third is actually MORE than a fourth (difference between 0.33 and 0.25 respectively). I ended up slicing her one fifth instead. No wonder there’s a math joke saying that ‘5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions!’)

    Won The Gold Medal For Most Stupid Customer

    | Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology

    (I work on the shop floor of a DIY store. A customer comes up to me holding a torch and looking confused.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m not quite sure how this torch would work.”

    Me: “You just put AA batteries in it and push the button on the side here.”

    Customer: “But it says here on the label that this is a silver-coloured torch.”

    (She points at the label on the silver torch and it does indeed say ‘Torch – Colour: Silver.’)

    Me: “Yes, that’s right…”

    Customer: “But how can light be silver?”

    Me: “Oh, no, the light is white like a standard torch. The colour on the label refers to the colour of the metal.”

    Customer: “But… it says it’s silver…”

    (At this point I get a black torch off of the shelf to show her that the label says ‘Torch – Colour: Black’)

    Me: “See, the label on this one says black and this metal is black.”

    Customer: “But it says it’s a silver coloured torch!”

    (After 10 full minutes of explaining, the woman handed me back the silver torch and walked off muttering about false advertising.)

    Only A Hundredth Of The Intelligence

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Math & Science

    (Our shop prints a lot of the sizes on products in cm when a lot of older customers are more familiar with inches.)

    Customer: “Hi, I need help with these curtain sizes, please!”

    Me: “What’s the matter?”

    Customer: “It says here the length is 228 cm, but I’m not sure what that means.”

    Me: “Okay, well 228 cm is roughly—”

    Customer: “Because I need a 2.28 m length curtain!”

    Me: “…”

    Small Minds Can’t Do Small Print

    , | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work for a big fast food company and occasionally we have coupons for which no one bothers to read the fine print, which says to let the order taker know of the coupon prior to ordering.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get this meal?”

    (Because I have worked for so long and know most of the prices I don’t always punch the orders in right away which comes in handy when the people don’t tell me about the coupon beforehand.)

    Me: “Okay your total is [total]. Please drive ahead.”

    Customer: “But I have a coupon!”

    Me: “Sure. In the future please let me know before your order.”

    Customer: “Whatever.”

    (Customer drives off and pulls up to my window.)

    Me: “Okay your new total is [total]; may I have the coupon, please?”

    Customer: “I don’t have it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry but I cannot give you a discount without the coupon.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Well, my management requires me to collect the coupons.”

    Customer: “But I can print them online as much as I want!”

    Me: “True. However I do need to collect the coupon to give you the discount.”

    Customer: “This is bull-s**t! I don’t understand why I can’t get the d*** discount!”

    (I try to explain it the concept in the simplest terms I can think of.)

    Me: “Think about it this way: Can you get into a concert without the ticket?”

    Customer: “I DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING! I’M NOT SOME DUMB TEENAGER LIKE YOU DOING SOME S*** MINIMUM WAGE JOB!”

    (Clearly natural selection has stopped since people like this are still around…)

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