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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    A Few Planets Short Of A Solar System

    | Cartersville, GA, USA | Bizarre, Math & Science, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (I work in the administrative offices of a museum. One of my job duties is to answer the phone. The following call takes place one afternoon.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Museum]. May I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I would like to sign up for the astronomy workshop.”

    Me: “Are you a member?”

    Caller: “No, but I want to be. How much does it cost?”

    Me: “There are different levels…”

    (I explain the different levels of membership and prices.)

    Me: “If you join today, I can give you the member price of $10 for the workshop and book your spot. If you are unable to join today, I will have to wait until the advance member registration is over and the cost will be $25.”

    Caller: “I guess I need the family membership to cover my daughter and my mother. Well, she’s really not my mother but the nursing home was going to throw her out on the street…”

    (She tells me a lengthy story about how a woman who isn’t her mother came to live in her home.)

    Caller: “But I don’t have $95 to pay for it. I really want to come!”

    (At this point she begins sobbing hysterically because she wants to come to the workshop, but we are only accepting member reservations at the moment.)

    Caller: “I come and sit in your parking lot on the weekends and watch the happy expressions of people who are leaving your museum, wishing I could go in. Sometimes I will come and walk amongst the trees and think about what is going on inside the museum.”

    (At this point, I’m a little creeped out but I try to help her because I feel a little sorry for her.)

    Me: “I think it would be okay to make an exception for you and let you sign up, and even give you the member price.”

    Caller: “Oh, thank you. Thank you. I will come see you next time I come to walk among the trees.”

    (She never showed up for the workshop. I guess she got tired of walking among the trees.)

    Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness

    | West Sussex, England, UK | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Wild & Unruly

    (My wife and I do our weekly shop every Monday. My wife’s a primary school teacher and has a very calm, nature. She’s also practiced judo since early childhood, runs a class at weekends, and has a self-defense class that uses non-excessive force. My wife has offered to get the ingredients for her school to make pancakes the next day, as it is the day before Shrove Tuesday (Pancake Day). Most ingredients are shared but we need 14 two-pint jugs of milk. My wife is at the pancake display. There are loads of ready made, ready mix, and separate ingredient on display. My wife is counting out the 14 jugs of milk, when another customer approaches.)

    Customer: “Jesus, lady, leave some for the rest of us.”

    Wife: *looking at the display* “I’m sure there’s enough for everyone.”

    (My wife moves the trolley to try and leave.)

    Customer: “Stuck-up b****.”

    (My wife carries on moving as she has what she needs.)

    Customer: *moving his trolley to block my wife* “Hey, don’t ignore me. I asked you a question.”

    Wife: “No, you didn’t. You told me to leave some, even though there’s more than enough. Then you called me a stuck-up b****. Please move your trolley so I can get away from you.”

    Customer: “How many you got in there? 14?” *he takes two milks out* “Now you only have 10.”

    Wife: “Not only are you rude, you’re also an idiot. 14 minus 2 is 12.” *reaches out and gets two more milks* “Now there’s 14 again.”

    (She moves her trolley quickly around the man. By now people are starting to stare. I make a move to go to her but she gives me a look so I stay where I am. The man takes a step towards her and puts his hand around her wrist.)

    Customer: “You think you’re better than me, b****?!”

    Wife: *very calmly* “Sir, I have tried to ignore you’re insults and politely asked you to move. You will not leave me alone. Now you have placed you hands on me in a threatening manner. This is considered assault. If you do not let go of me NOW I am within my rights to defend myself. Do you understand?”

    (The customer just looks at her as if she’s spoken another language.)

    Wife: “I have given you fair warning. I am obliged to warn you that I know judo. Please let go of me.”

    (My wife tries to move her arm but he holds a little tighter.)

    Customer: “You think you can hurt me, you b—”

    (My wife uses the heel of her hand to strike the man in the face, causing his nose to bleed. She then flips him, where he lands with an almighty crash half on the floor and half on the display. While he is laying, screaming, she bends his index finger back (without breaking it) so he cannot get away. We hear heavy footsteps as security and staff comes running. People are just standing around, amazed.)

    Security Guard: “What’s going on? Miss, you need to let go of him now, please.”

    Wife: *very calmly* “This man was very rude and abusive to me. I asked him several times to leave me alone but he held my arm. I warned him I know judo, but he decided to hold on tighter. I then defended myself against a personal attack.

    (The police were called and the man was taken away. My wife, I, and a few other customers were questioned by police as to what happened. As we all said the same thing, and my wife did not use excessive force, we were all told to go on our way. The supermarket donated the pancake ingredients to the school and my wife and I received £500 in vouchers. The customer has been banned from that store and the other major supermarkets in the area.)

    Her Logic Isn’t Adding Up

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science

    Me: “All right, your total comes to $26.48. Will that be cash, check, or card?”

    Customer: “Card, please.”

    (We finish the transaction. When I hand the customer her receipt, she squints suspiciously at it.)

    Me: “… Um, is something the matter?”

    Customer: “That doesn’t sound right. It’s too high. You must have overcharged me.”

    Me: “Well, let’s take a look at your receipt. This item was about $10, these two were $5, this was $3, and this was $1. And there was sales tax, too. It can add up quickly.”

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math. You overcharged me! This is way too much for what I bought.”

    (I pull out a calculator and add each item’s exact price together. I also calculate sales tax and add that to the total, which comes out to $26.48, the exact amount she paid.)

    Customer: “No, you added wrong! I don’t believe your math!”

    (I add everything again, slower.)

    Customer: “I don’t believe your math!”

    Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I’ve just proved to you that I charged you the correct price. If you’re not happy with your purchases, you can return them here.”

    Customer: “No, I need these things. I’ll take them even though you overcharged me!”

    Threat Of A Roverdose

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a vet clinic. One of my coworkers answers a call from a customer we had a few days earlier.)

    Customer: “Yes. I’m calling to complain about the service I received the other day.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Four days ago I came over because my dog had parasites. The veterinarian gave me a prescription that says: Give 15 cc once daily for three days. But I don’t know what cc are.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry about the confusion. CC and milliliters are actually the same. If you look closely on the syringe we gave you, you can see that both cc and ml are written on it, next to the number.”

    Customer: “Well, I’ve studied pharmacology and I’ve never heard of cc’s so you shouldn’t put it. Also. how am I supposed to give 15 cc to my dog if you only gave me a 5 ml syringe?”

    Coworker: “As I’ve told you, the syringe is graduated in both cc and ml. We give smaller syringe because it makes the medication easier to give. To give 15 cc, you have to give three syringe of 5 cc.”

    Customer: “But I only have one syringe, and I don’t know what cc are!”

    Coworker: “So what have you been giving your dog for the past few days?”

    Customer: “Well, since your prescription was so unclear, I’ve been giving him one full syringe per day.”

    Coworker: “So… you didn’t understand the prescription we gave you, and instead of calling us right away for us to clarify everything you decided to just give him a random amount? And you say you’ve studied in pharmacology?!”

    Customer: “Yes, because your instruction were unclear. You really have to tell your vets that their service is severely lacking!”

    Coworker: “All right… I’ll give them the message.”

    Calculated Customer Service

    | USA | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    (I have just finished processing a customer’s transaction. Her total comes up to $22 and some change. She gives me a $50 bill. I have already typed in $50 as a cash payment. Once my till opens, she stops me.)

    Customer: “Okay, wait. Can I give you $2? I just don’t want to get a bunch of change back. This way, I’ll get $30 back.”

    Me: “Okay. Sure.”

    (I add in the $2, give her $30 back and then 21 cents, which is what the register tells me I should give her.)

    Customer: “Wow! That was really fast! You must be really smart! You calculated that all by yourself!”

    Me: “Well, it wasn’t too difficult! I just added the $2, so I ended up giving you $30 back, and then I gave you back 21 cents, which was what the computer screen told me to give you back in the first place.”

    Customer: “Wow! Okay!”

    (She walks away, takes her purchase with her and leaves the store, amazed at my ‘fast’ calculation.)


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