Category: Math & Science

Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

His Knowledge Of Science Blows

| WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(Due to the weather, I am calling people who had pre-registered to come to watch the Geminid Meteor Shower at the nature center. One of the gentlemen tries to be optimistic about it.)

Gentleman: “What if we got enough people together and had them blow all at once to get rid of the clouds?”

Me: “Well, I’d hate to have someone pass out from all the blowing.”

Fractional Intelligence, Part 3

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I work in the call center for the complaint line of a fast food restaurant chain.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Guest: “I just bought one of your burgers. The 1/3 lb burger. That’s your big burger, right?”

Me: “Well, we have 1/4 lb, 1/3 lb, and 1/2 lb burgers.”

Guest: “Right. But I got the 1/3 lb burger. That’s the biggest one, right?”

Me: “Um, no ma’am, the 1/2 lb is burger than the 1/3 lb.”

Guest: “Really? Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. 1/2 is bigger than 1/3.”

Guest: “Huh. Never mind, then.”

(Guest hangs up.)

Me: *to coworker* “Wow. Another child left behind…”

Related:
Fractional Intelligence, Part 2
Fractional Intelligence

Give It More Than Half A Thought

| Aberystwyth, Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work in a small corner shop in my university town. I was serving behind the till when a man came up with bin bags, that I wasn’t aware were on a special offer until I scanned them through the till. The following conversation took place when I realised this.)

Me: “Oh, sir, these bin bags are two for £1.20. Would you like to take another?’

Customer: “No. You see, I need double strength bags for heavy duty waste, so I only buy ten, because if I bought twenty they’d only be half strength.”

Guessing Abhors A Vacuum

| Aarhus, Denmark | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science

(I’m working the register and we just got some new fruit that isn’t written on the paper so I call my coworker over to help find the number.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, it’s just going to be a minute. I need my coworker to find the number for these fruits as I don’t have it yet.”

Customer: “Can’t you just guess?”

Me: “I really don’t think that will work”

Customer: “Come on, just try.”

Me: “Oh, hey, it did work!”

(Customer looks pleased and gets ready to pay.)

Me: “Guess you just bought a vacuum cleaner for 249.99.”

Customer: Oh…”

In Hot Soup Now

| The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(We serve our soup in big round fancy bowls where the edge is raised on only one side.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Miss, I have a complaint. I’m afraid I did not receive a full bowl of soup. You see, it’s only half full.”

(I look at her bowl and see that it is in fact filled for as much as the bowl allows. You could not possibly fill the bowl with more soup, because it would spill over on one side.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems that your bowl is completely filled. What exactly do you mean?”

Customer: “Look! Look at this side of the bowl! There’s no soup here. It’s false advertising. Why would you have a bowl this large and high and not fill it all the way?”

Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking me to change the law of physics for you?”

Customer: “Yes!”

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