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    Category: Math & Science

    Everyone needs basic math and science skills to survive. However, these customers were definitely sleeping their way through class!

    No Helium For The Airhead, Part 2

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (Because of a helium shortage, we currently have a limited amount of tanks to use on balloon orders. We run out in the middle of a day that has a special event going on.)

    Store Owner: “I’m sorry to say we can’t fill any more balloons unless it’s with air. If you want any helium balloons, you will have to go to [other store known for its poor service].”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I need 20 balloons and you’re telling me I can’t have them now?”

    Store Owner: “I’ve called in for more tanks, but I won’t have them in before tomorrow, so if you need them you’ll have to go elsewhere.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! You should have planned better and ordered more tanks to begin with.”

    Me: “We could try that, but we’re only given four tanks a week. Hospitals have a priority on helium for their machines, so their demands come first.”

    Customer: “If the hospital needs helium so badly, why don’t they make their own?”

    Me: “Helium isn’t man-made. That’s why.”

    Customer: *scoffs* “Yes, it is. How else do you think they put it in those tanks?”

    Store Owner: “They trap it when they mine, but—”

    Customer: “That is the dumbest thing I’ve heard. I can’t believe you idiots believe that shortage crap. I’m going to [other store]. I bet they won’t make up crap to get out of work!” *storms out*

    Store Owner: “I bet he also thinks H2O is an energy drink.”

    No Helium For The Airhead

    The True Appliance Of Science

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Awesome Customers, Math & Science

    (I volunteer at a children’s museum in their dinosaur area, where I work in the lab. We work behind a glass window that we keep open so the kids can ask us questions about the bones we are cleaning.)

    Every Kid: *completely ignoring me* “Wow! A real dinosaur bone!”

    One Awesome Kid: *staring directly at me* “Wow! A real scientist!”

    Hot On The Cent

    | Rio Grande, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (We sell candy 10 for 1$, which equals 10 cents each. A lady walks up with her husband and child. I start ringing them up and the customer tosses a bag of candy onto my register.)

    Customer: “I do not know how many is in there.”

    Me: “Okay, I will finish ringing your items and count these last.”

    Customer: “Good.”

    (I am just about done when I dump out the bag of candy and start counting.)

    Me: “Okay, you have 34 pieces of candy which will be 3 dollars and 40 cents for the candy.”

    Customer: “Wait, it said 10 for a dollar. Should i go get more?”

    Me: “That is entirely up to you as they are still 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “But it says 10 for a dollar. I WANT THAT PRICE!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you are getting that price. It’s 10 cents for a piece of candy.”

    Customer: “BUT I WANT 10 FOR A DOLLAR!”

    Me: “Ma’am, what is 100 divided my 10?”

    Customer: “10, you stupid girl.”

    Me: “Okay. Well a dollar is 100 pennies and its ten pieces of candy for one dollar. Each piece of candy will be 10 cents. Therefore, you are getting the sale price.”

    (She then started screaming at me for making her seem like an idiot in front of her family. She then threw her credit card at me and stormed out of the store. Her husband stayed behind to apologize and say thank you for putting up with her.)

    Discount Their Math Skills

    | Dayton, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (My store is having a sale for 20-40% off. A customer comes in with a return, and she wants to purchase some more items as well. I try to run it as an exchange, knowing this will actually save her money.)

    Me: “Okay, after your store credit, you only owe $10.61.”

    Customer: “Wait, what are you doing? I wanted 30% off!”

    Me: “I realize that, ma’am, but actually, if you run this return as an exchange, you will actually pay less money than with the 30% off.”

    Customer: “No! I wanted my 30% off! Just let me return this and get my 30% off!”

    Me: “Okay, I can do that.”

    (I do the return and then ring up her purchases.)

    Customer: “Okay, your total with 30% off is $32.54.”

    Customer: “There! That’s better!”

    Stupidity Can Accumulate

    , | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I am working as a cashier. A customer comes up with a large order, which I ring up.)

    Me: “All right, sir, your total comes to $2000.”

    (The customer swipes his card and enters his account information and pin. It’s declined.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, your card was declined.”

    Customer: “No, it wasn’t! I have lots of money in this account! Try it again!”

    (I try it again. Again it’s declined.)

    Me: “Did you mean to hit chequing? If you meant to use your savings account, that could be why it’s declined.”

    Customer: “No, I only use my chequing account!”

    Me: “Well, do you have a daily limit? Some banks have that set up, so you can only spend a certain amount each day.”

    Customer: “Yes, I have a $500 daily limit.”

    Me: “This transaction is for $2000, sir. That’s a lot more than $500.”

    Customer: “But I haven’t used this card in three days!”

    Me: “It’s a DAILY limit. It resets every day.”

    (I didn’t feel like explaining that, even if it was cumulative, that still wouldn’t have equaled $2000.)

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