October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Love/Romance

Customers sometimes bring their love lives (or lack thereof) with them–for better or worse. PS: be sure to visit Not Always Romantic for more love/romantic stories!

Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 6

| Oahu, HI, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Love/Romance

(My boyfriend and I are going shopping for my brother’s seventh birthday. A middle age customer walks up to us.)

Customer: “Aww, isn’t that cute?”

Me: “What is?”

Customer: “Brother and sister shopping together. You both look like twins!”

(My boyfriend laughs.)

Me: “Sorry, but we aren’t related at all. We’re dating; you know, boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Customer: “No, you’re not! You haven’t held hands or hugged each other. Show me!”

Boyfriend: “Well, let’s not keep her waiting…”

(I give him a kiss, which throws the customer into a rage.)


From NotAlwaysRelated.com
Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5
From NotAlwaysRomantic.com
Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

Checking Her Out At The Checkout Just Checked Out

| LA, USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Top

(My boyfriend is visiting me at work. He’s currently at the back of the store, looking at our soft drinks. I am ringing up a customer’s items.)

Me: “Is this all you need, sir?”

Customer: “No, I need your digits so we can go out sometime.”

Me: “Not happening. Your total is $15.86, sir.”

(He pays but he doesn’t leave. My boyfriend walks up to the counter with his drink. The customer nudges him with an elbow, and starts talking to him.)

Customer: “What sort of guy do you think she goes for?”

Boyfriend: “Well, she wants a guy who is smart, charming, witty, and funny in an off-beat kind of way.”

(I am grinning as I nod.)

Me: “Yep. He’d have to be 5’9; muscular but not beefy. He’d need hazel eyes, a light olive complexion, black hair, and a cheeky grin.”

(My boyfriend smirks and the customer frowns.)

Customer: “It sounds like she just described you.”

Boyfriend: “That’s because she was describing me. She’s my girlfriend.”

Customer: “Oh! I meant no harm, man!”

(The customer runs out of the store with his bag, and we both start laughing.)

Me: “You should visit me at work more often.”

His Magnetic Personality Won The Day

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Health & Body, Love/Romance, Top

(I am an African-American male. When I was 13, I was in a car accident that has left me with a little bit of a limp since. I have two metal rods in my leg from the accident. An elderly customer comes into my lane for checkout.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today ma’am? Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Elderly Customer: “Actually, I couldn’t find this brownie mix.”

(The customer shows me a coupon for the mix.)

Me: “Oh, I can get that for you! Just a moment!”

(I start to walk away. My limp is showing, as it always is. I hear the woman speak up from behind me.)

Elderly Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes?”

Elderly Customer: “I know that you guys like to walk like that, but could you hurry? I’m in a bit of a rush!”

Me: “What do you mean, ma’am?”

Elderly Customer: “The way you young lazy n****** walk these days. I’m surprised your pants are even up!”

(Now I get what she’s saying, and I feel I should show her something. We keep fridge-magnets for sale near the checkout. I call out to a nearby coworker)

Me: “Hey, [coworker], can you toss me a magnet?”

(My coworker tosses ones to me, and I stick the magnet to my leg.)

Me: “My mother and I were hit by a drunk driver when I was 13 years old. I am lucky I can even walk, since my leg is held together by metal rods.”

(The customer is now screaming incoherently; the only words that could be made out are racial slurs and shrieking. My manager walks up.)

Manager: “Excuse me, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store immediately. You cannot speak to my employees like that.”

Elderly Customer: “Fine! I don’t care! I wouldn’t buy anything any n***** touched anyway!”

(The customer continues screaming the whole way out, slowly being drowned out by people cheering her out. When I look at who has been behind her in the line the whole time, I see the girl from the coffee shop next door. I have had a little crush on her for a while. She says that was the most amazing thing she has ever seen, and asks me out!)

A Minor Mistake

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Love/Romance, Movies & TV

(I’m currently a high school student. I look really young, about 12 or 13, so I’m not hit on very often. A customer aged about 30 walks up to me, smirking.)

Customer: “Remember when I asked you out two years ago, and you turned me down because you said you live too far away? Well, look where we are now. I have a job at [local corporate headquarters], and you clean up people’s trash at a movie theater.”

(He drops trash on the ground.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m not who you think I am. I go to [local high school]. Also, I only date girls.”

(The customer slowly realizes that I am both a minor and a lesbian.)

Customer: “Oh. I’m way off, aren’t I?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(The customer picks up his trash, and scurries off with a sheepish look on his face.)

Teeny Tiny Meets Teenage Whiney

| USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Love/Romance, Rude & Risque, Top

(There is a young couple in my check-out line, followed by a handful of teenagers. The man is quite a bit taller than the woman, and he’s fairly muscular and intimidating. She’s very small, and unassuming. The teenagers are making a number of snide, extremely explicit comments to her.)

Teen #1: “D***, baby! You ought to learn how to service more than one man! A pretty little thing like you needs to be trained!”

(The other two teens high-five each other and laugh.)

Teen #2: “Yeah, man! With a fine b**** like you, a real man could find some use for that mouth!”

(She grabs her companion’s arm, and mutters something quiet to him. She then smiles at me as it’s their turn. They put their things on the counter.)

Me: “Hi there. Did you find everything you needed today?”

Teen #3: “Hey! B****! Don’t ignore us! Men are talking; you gotta learn some respect!”

(She smiles at me, but looks slightly annoyed.)

Woman: “Won’t you excuse me?”

(She turns around.)

Man: “Oh, boy.”

Woman: “If you EVER speak to me like that again, you never WILL become the men you’re arrogant enough to think you’ve already become. If you want to be treated like adults, and respected like adults, you act like adults and show other people respect. I feel sorry for your poor mothers. You are pathetic excuses for human beings. Go bother somebody else; come back when you’re ready to behave yourselves!”

(The man starts talking to me.)

Man: “The funny thing is, people think that because I’m physically bigger than she is, they should be afraid of me. Then they see her mad. She’s tiny, but she’s the scary one.”

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