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    Category: Love/Romance

    Customers sometimes bring their love lives (or lack thereof) with them–for better or worse. PS: be sure to visit Not Always Romantic for more love/romantic stories!

    Please Don’t Single Me Out

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Love/Romance, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a Caucasian male with very curly hair in my early 20s on a register. A Native American female in her mid to late 40′s comes up behind me.)

    Customer: “Oh, I love curly hair!”

    (She runs her fingers through my hair with a huge smile on her face.)

    Me: *feeling uncomfortable* “Uh…”

    Customer: “When do you get off?”

    Me: “Um, well I—”

    Customer: “I just love curly hair. It’s so cute! I just love it. My ex-boyfriend only had straight hair, but yours is so much better.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t think this is appro—”

    Customer: “Are you single?”

    (I press a code on my register for manager assistance.)

    Me: “I’m flattered and all, but I’m sorry, I’m just not that interested. Sorry. I hope you have a wonderful evening, though.”

    (Her smile changes to a scowl and she starts poking me in the shoulder angrily.)

    Customer: *pokes me repeatedly* “What!? Why not!? Is it because of my skin color!? What do you have against native chicks, huh!?”

    Me: “Not at all, ma’am, really! My first girlfriend was a native woman. I don’t understand why you’re doing this, and I don’t appreciate being treated this way.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s bulls***! You are all alike! You’re just a white, racist, piece of s***! I’m going to get you fired, a**hole! You’ve insulted me and you took my joy away!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve called for a manager.”

    (She continues this profanity-laden tirade while the manager walks up.)

    Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Your cashier insulted me!”

    Manager: “Alright, ma’am, what did he say to you?”

    (I’m a bit nervous, to be honest. I’ve never received a customer complaint before.)

    Customer: “He won’t go out with me! You’re the manager! Tell him to go out with me, or he’s fired! Can’t you understand?!”

    Manager: “If you come in here and hit on our employees or customers one more time, you will be banned from the store. Get out, now, or I will call the police!”

    Customer: *glares at me as she storms off*

    Manager: *to me, jokingly* “So, how do you like your new girlfriend?”

    (Apparently, this woman had come in several times and would aggressively flirt with white male customers and employees. So much so, that the manager staff were notified to be on the lookout for her!)

    My Butter Half

    | Minnesota, USA | Food & Drink, Love/Romance, Top

    (A couple approaches me at the movie theater’s concession stand.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I—”

    Customer: “Give me a green tea.”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t have green tea.”

    Customer: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Well, fine! What DO you have?”

    (I point right behind me where all our sodas are clearly listed.)

    Customer: “Well, FINE! Give me a Diet Coke, then.”

    Customer Husband: “…And a large popcorn, please!”

    Me: “Sure! That all?”

    Customer Husband: “Yep!”

    Me: “Cool. You guys want butter on the popcorn?”

    Customer Husband: *giant smile* “Ye—”

    Customer: “Of course not! Unlike you, I have a figure to maintain! I can’t have BUTTER on my popcorn! Really, are you an idiot?!”

    (I go to get them their popcorn, but I purposely put way too much butter in the bucket and shovel a thin layer of popcorn on top to hide the butter.)

    Me: “Here you go!”

    Customer: “Well, finally!”

    Customer Husband: *whispers as his wife turns away* “Butter?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (The guy hands me a five dollar bill. To this day, my coworkers and I refer to him as ‘Butter Man.’)

    Not Always Indeed

    | Franklin Park, PA, USA | Food & Drink, Love/Romance, Top

    Male Customer: “Hi, we’d like to get two Frappuccinos.”

    Me: “Sure, what kind?”

    Male Customer: “What was that kind we wanted?”

    Female Customer: “The java chip ones.”

    Me: “Alright, what sizes would you like?”

    Female Customer: “Grandes.”

    Male Customer: *almost at same time* “Ventis.”

    Me: “So…you’d like a grande, and you would like a venti?”

    (The customers look at each other.)

    Female Customer: “No. We have to have them the same.”

    Me: “Oh, alright. So, which size would you both like then?”

    Male Customer: “Ugh, obviously what I said! Obviously, you’re not married!”

    Female Customer: “Seriously, you young single feminists! You’d be wise to learn that husbands and wives always do things the same! And you are to be submissive to him! How else do you think our marriage has lasted so long?”

    Me: “Ah, well, I actually am married, and my husband and I like to do things differently from each other. We find it keeps things interesting.”

    Female Customer: “Your marriage is doomed! Oh, I can’t believe the attitude of you young people. Just make us the Frappuccinos so I don’t have to look at you anymore!”

    Me: “Alright, two venti java chips, coming up…”

    (The whole time I’m making these, I hear them having an argument about how the woman will never be able to drink the whole thing and it was a waste of money, she really would have liked a different flavor, etc.)

    Me: “Here you go, two venti java chip Frappuccinos.”

    Male Customer: “You’re way too young to be married, by the way! What is it with you teenagers and taking marriage so lightly?”

    Me: “Well, I’m actually 26, and my husband and I dated for over 7 years before becoming engaged.”

    Male Customer: “NO!”

    Me: “…Sorry?”

    Male Customer: “No! You’re lying! You’re obviously a teenager and you obviously got married without thinking about it first!”

    Female Customer: “…And it’s doomed to fail because you clearly don’t know how a real marriage works! And don’t argue! The customer is always right!”

    Me: “Not always…”

    How About We Read You The Riot Act

    | Cape Town, South Africa | Love/Romance

    Customer: “Hi, I am looking for a fashion book.”

    Me: “Sure, sir. Do you know the title or any specifics?”

    Customer: “No, I do not.”

    Me: “I will show you the fashion section then, sir.”

    (As we walk to the fashion section…)

    Customer: “I don’t know why people read; it’s like a disease! I find Facebook and other things on the internet are more fun.”

    Me: “I enjoy reading, sir. It’s quite stimulating and exciting.”

    Customer: “So, if you read, that means you don’t have a girlfriend?”

    Me: “I do have a girlfriend. We have been together a long time.”

    Customer: “How does she put up with you reading?”

    Me: “She enjoys reading too, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, so you two must have a very boring life together and do nothing fun!”

    Would You Like That For Her Or To Go

    , | Lindale, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Love/Romance

    (I am in drive-thru, using a head set to communicate with customers. A male customer pulls up.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “I’m doing well! How are you tonight?”

    Me: “I’m good! What can I get for you?”

    (The customer places his order, but has a question that I am unable to answer. So, my manager speaks into the headset to answer him.)

    Customer: “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GIRL?!”

    Manager: “Sir, you’ll see her at the window.”

    Customer: “WELL, BUTT OUT OF OUR CONVERSATION!”

    (The customer pulls up to window.)

    Customer: “TELL YOUR BOSS TO LEAVE US ALONE!” *glares at the window*

    Me: “Um, yes sir…”


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