October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Love/Romance

Customers sometimes bring their love lives (or lack thereof) with them–for better or worse. PS: be sure to visit Not Always Romantic for more love/romantic stories!

Don’t Get Short With This Customer

| New York, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Love/Romance, Technology, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am a cashier at a small phone shop in a large mall. At one point, a very tall, very very large man with a scowl on his face steps into line. I can tell that the longer he waits, the shorter his temper gets, so by the time he gets up to the counter about ten minutes later, he’s practically livid.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Y’all sold me a broken device. How could you sell me broken s***?! Don’t you have any kind of quality control?”

Me: “Um, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “It don’t work! The f*** you think is the problem?!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir, but—”

Customer: “I’ve already been waiting here for thirty minutes! Fix it already!”

(Upon cursory examination of his device, it becomes apparent to me that it has suffered extensive water damage.)

Me: “Has this device been in contact with water recently?”

Customer: “No, of course not. I’m not stupid.”

Me: “Well, sir, I’m afraid that given the nature of the damage to this device, we cannot repair it and it is no longer under warranty.”

Customer: “Now hold up just a minute, you little b****. I will not have you blaming me for your problems. How dare you?!”

(Suddenly, he SLAPS me across the face. Caught completely off guard, I take a step back and shut my eyes. But when I look back up, the man is nowhere to be seen. I notice that everyone is looking down at the floor, so I peer over the counter to see him attempting to crawl away, unable to stand up, and clutching a bleeding ear. The next customer in line is an unassuming, bespectacled man that stands no taller than 5’5″.)

Next Customer: “Hey, are you okay?”

Me: “Uh, yeah, I’m fine… what just happened?”

Next Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t just gonna let him do that to you, so I slapped him back.” *his face breaks into a grin*

Me: “Wait, you… what did you do?”

(As it turned out, the guy with glasses was trained extensively in multiple forms or martial arts, and had leapt up and performed a cup-handed ear slap on the customer that had assaulted me. My manager has seen what has just happened and walks over.)

Manager: *to the next customer* “Wow. That was the coolest thing I have ever seen. Thanks for that. You’re welcome to shop here anytime.”

(Incidentally, I have been dating this short bada** for almost a year now!)

Seoul Much For That Brilliant Idea

| Chicago, IL, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Love/Romance, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I am a caucasian female working as a concierge in a hotel in Chicago, but I grew up in Korea. This particular group of guests has been causing havoc their entire stay, stealing items and bothering other patrons in the halls. One night, the television in the lounge has been smashed, so my boss calls the police on them. They are sitting on the sofa while the officer is trying to get their details. Before every answer, the guests converse amongst themselves in Korean.)

Officer: “Where are you boys from?”

Guest #1: *in Korean* “Tell him we’re from Japan!”

Guest #2: “Uh, Japan. Yeah.”

Me: *in perfect Korean* “You guys better tell him the truth. He’s going to find out anyway.”

(They are in shock. But before they sputter out an excuse, the policeman says…)

Officer: *in perfect Korean* “That’s okay. We’ll get it from their passports.”

(And that was how I met my now fiancé. The guests, by the way, spent the rest of the night at HIS workplace instead of mine.)

In Her Own Inbred World

| Glen Rock, NJ, USA | Bizarre, Love/Romance

(I have a tattoo in memory of my cousin who passed away. We were really close. I always get people asking me about it, but this one is by far the worst.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: *grabs my wrist and looks at my tattoo* “Who’s Johnny?”

Me: “He’s my cousin.”

Customer: “Oh! I wanted to marry my cousin once. I was in love with him.”

Me: “Oh…well…it’s not like that.”

Customer: “It’s okay, because he’s my second cousin.”

Me: “It’s not like that. My cousin passed away. I got this tattoo to remember him. I’m not in love with him.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s nice. I should have married my cousin…” *walks away*

Curtains Up For This Kitty

| CA, USA | Love/Romance

(I’m on the phone with a caller and assisting with her ticket purchase for a future visit.)

Me: “Okay, so did you say you needed two senior tickets?”

Caller: “Oh, no…it’ll be one adult and one senior. My boyfriend is younger than me. I’m a cougar. RAWR!”

Please Don’t Single Me Out

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Crazy Requests, Love/Romance, Wild & Unruly

(I’m a Caucasian male with very curly hair in my early 20s on a register. A Native American female in her mid to late 40’s comes up behind me.)

Customer: “Oh, I love curly hair!”

(She runs her fingers through my hair with a huge smile on her face.)

Me: *feeling uncomfortable* “Uh…”

Customer: “When do you get off?”

Me: “Um, well I—”

Customer: “I just love curly hair. It’s so cute! I just love it. My ex-boyfriend only had straight hair, but yours is so much better.”

Me: “Ma’am, I really don’t think this is appro—”

Customer: “Are you single?”

(I press a code on my register for manager assistance.)

Me: “I’m flattered and all, but I’m sorry, I’m just not that interested. Sorry. I hope you have a wonderful evening, though.”

(Her smile changes to a scowl and she starts poking me in the shoulder angrily.)

Customer: *pokes me repeatedly* “What!? Why not!? Is it because of my skin color!? What do you have against native chicks, huh!?”

Me: “Not at all, ma’am, really! My first girlfriend was a native woman. I don’t understand why you’re doing this, and I don’t appreciate being treated this way.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s bulls***! You are all alike! You’re just a white, racist, piece of s***! I’m going to get you fired, a**hole! You’ve insulted me and you took my joy away!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve called for a manager.”

(She continues this profanity-laden tirade while the manager walks up.)

Manager: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “Your cashier insulted me!”

Manager: “Alright, ma’am, what did he say to you?”

(I’m a bit nervous, to be honest. I’ve never received a customer complaint before.)

Customer: “He won’t go out with me! You’re the manager! Tell him to go out with me, or he’s fired! Can’t you understand?!”

Manager: “If you come in here and hit on our employees or customers one more time, you will be banned from the store. Get out, now, or I will call the police!”

Customer: *glares at me as she storms off*

Manager: *to me, jokingly* “So, how do you like your new girlfriend?”

(Apparently, this woman had come in several times and would aggressively flirt with white male customers and employees. So much so, that the manager staff were notified to be on the lookout for her!)

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