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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Retort Against Those Who Extort

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (My mother is in her 70s, and is shopping at a thrift store when she spots a beautiful bamboo bookcase.)

    Clerk: “Hi. Do you need some help?”

    Mom: “I am interested in the shelf, but have to go home first and do some measuring.”

    Clerk: “No problem; I’ll make sure it’s still here when you get back.”

    (After getting home, measuring, and seeing it will fit, she calls me to ask if I can go with her to pick it up if it was still there. We get to the store, where she walks over to the bookshelf and shows me. About a second later, a customer immediately walks up to us.)

    Customer: “I’m actually buying this shelf… but how much would you be willing to give me NOT to buy this?”

    (My mom and I looked at each other in disbelief, and before I can even think of what to say to this idiot, the clerk from earlier immediately steps in:)

    Clerk: “Sorry, sir. This lady was here earlier and was going to buy it, but she had to run home and take measurements first.”.

    Customer: “Well, that’s not fair. I was just ready to buy this!”

    Clerk: “Sorry. She gets first pick.”

    Mom: *looking at the customer with a big grin* “And I decided I’ll take it.”

    Clerk: *with an even bigger grin* “Let me go ahead and ring you up, and you also get a senior discount!”

    (We spent the next few minutes cashing out while the customer just stood there and stared at us the whole time, and then stood out in the parking lot and kept staring at us (with a butt-hurt look) while I loaded it on the car, pausing here and there to give him a big ‘f*** you’ grin. Thank you, awesome clerk, for putting that a**-hole in his place for trying to extort money from the elderly!)

    Some Things Sadly Never Chang(e)

    | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I was also dining at this restaurant and overhear this conversation. Keep in mind the server is Asian, but speaks perfect English with no accent and the customer is a man, ordering everything for his family of four.)

    Customer: *orders eight different sushi rolls* “We’re in a BIG hurry. We need to order and eat fast!”

    Server: “I understand, but sushi takes a long time to prepare as it’s made fresh after you order it. Most people are here for more than an hour. If you’re in a hurry, sushi is probably not the best choice for you.”

    Customer: “Just put the d*** order in and hurry it up.”

    (After the customers get their food and eat more than half it, he asks for the server’s manager.)

    Customer: “I want to complain. We’ve been here for 45 minutes and we’re just now eating. We told him we were in a hurry and he said it was no problem and we’d be done within half an hour and now we’re late. I’m not going to pay for this.”

    Manager: “I’m so sorry, sir. Sushi takes a long time to create.”

    Customer: “Well, Chang here said…”

    Server: “Chang?! My name is Steve!”

    (At this point another customer at a nearby table talked to the manager and told him that she heard what the server said and that he had told them it would be more than an hour. The manager told them to either pay up or he’d call the cops. They ended up paying, but complained loudly the whole time while using many other racially insensitive names.)

    Completely Taking The Mickey

    | Madrid, Spain | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (A customer approaches me in the counter while I finish ringing up another. I’m sure she has come to the bakery a couple of times, but she’s not exactly a regular.)

    Customer: “So nice to see you!”

    Me: “Sure, it has been a while since I last saw you.”

    Customer: “That’s because I was on a trip, to [Theme Park]”

    Me: *smiling politely* “That sounds good.”

    Customer: *looking in her purse* “I actually bought you something.”

    (She takes a Theme Park Character figurine, putting it in the counter. I stare, confused.)

    Me: “Uh, thanks, I guess… So, have you found anything you like around? We just made these new cupcakes.”

    Customer: “Of course I saw them.”

    (Puts three boxes on the counter, and I proceed to ring them up.)

    Me: “Your total is €9.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, just with the [Theme Park Character] is fine.”

    (I stare confused.)

    Customer: “Yes, you see, this thing was €10, so I give you this in exchange. An exchange. That’s fine, right?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m truly grateful you thought of us, but we do not accept exchange here. You can either pay with cash or credit card…”

    (She shakes her head, and grabs the figure to slam it in the counter. The thing doesn’t seem €10 in the slightest, since it’s about three inches tall.)

    Customer: “No! I already told you this covers all the total! And even, you owe me €1!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this. You can keep this [Theme Park Character] and pay with cash or credit card, as I said.”

    Customer: “No way!”

    (She grabs the cupcake boxes and starts to leave. My yells to call her back are heard by my coworkers, who help me and stop her from leaving. The woman had to be practically dragged away. The Theme Park Character remained on the counter for several hours, until a family comes up to the counter and the figure catches the attention of the son.)

    Kid: “I’ve got one like this! It came with my meal at [Famous Burger Chain]!”

    Closing Time Crime

    , | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a fast food restaurant that closes at 9:30 pm. A customer comes in just before then, as I am helping close up for the day.)

    Customer: “Hi. I ordered an eight-piece fried chicken during my lunch break, and got baked instead.”

    Me: “All right, sir. I’m terribly sorry. Do you want a refund or a correct order?”

    Customer: “I’d like what I ordered, please. The eight-piece fried chicken meal.”

    Me: “Sure, sir. We’re about to close, so at this point at night, we aren’t making the fried chicken anymore.”

    Customer: “What? But you’re a fried chicken place!”

    Me: “Yes, we are, but we’re also closing for the night.”

    Customer: “Okay, so, can I get an order that’s the same amount of money?”

    Me: “No problem. I just need the receipt and I can get you that, sir.”

    Customer: “The receipt? Oh, I think I threw that away.”

    (I look at him apologetically. I cannot correct an order or give a refund without the receipt.)

    Me: “What? Sir, I cannot give you your meal without the receipt.”

    Customer: “What? It’s just a piece of paper, I had the wrong order earlier and now I want what I paid for!”

    Me: “Sir, we fill out hundreds of orders around lunch time and I would not be able to find your order among them.”

    Customer: “I WANT MY FRIED CHICKEN!”

    Me: “Sir, please lower your voice. We don’t have the fried chicken, and without your receipt I can’t give you a refund.”

    Customer: “[Other Fast Food Chain] doesn’t need receipts to give me my food!”

    Me: “Sir, I am fairly sure they do. Look, it’s closing time but I can try to look through our computer system to find your order.”

    (He suddenly backs down a bit, from menacing to nervous.)

    Customer: “No, no, that’s okay. I’ll just go get dinner somewhere else.”

    (He leaves quickly. My manager walks over to see what it was about, and after I tell him, he shakes his head.)

    Manager: “I’m willing to bet there was no receipt, and he was just after a free meal!”

    In A Nut Shell: You’re Lying

    | England, UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I and my husband own a tea room. We only serve drinks and cakes (sweet pie/pastries/donuts, etc.), absolutely nothing hot or savoury. We also do party platters. We are well known in our area for being a nut-free establishment due to my husband’s (the baker) severe allergy.)

    Customer: “I need a refund on the food I ordered for my grandson’s birthday party at the weekend. I have the receipt.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you weren’t happy. What was wrong with the food?”

    Customer: “It was totally unsatisfactory! We paid a lot of money for your food and my daughter was most upset.”

    (I’m looking over the receipt and notice it was a lot of money, over £100. Every food item is listed, with quantity, and it seems a lot for a child’s party. I call my husband to take a look and he remembers talking to the child’s mother on the phone and again when she picked everything up.)

    Husband: “I remember when your daughter ordered it and picked it up. I asked her repeatedly if she had the numbers right. It was a lot of food for a nine-year-old’s party.”

    Customer: “That’s not the point. All of the quiches were undercooked, the sandwiches had the wrong fillings, and the birthday cake had hazelnuts in it. My grandson has a nut allergy. He was rushed to hospital on his birthday. He could have died! DIED!”

    (By now other customers are looking and listening in.)

    Husband: “You’re lying.”

    Customer: “Well, I never! How dare you speak to me like that! I want my money back!

    Me: “Have you looked at this receipt? First, your daughter paid by card. Second, we do not sell anything other than cake. No sandwiches, quiche, sausage roll, nothing. Look around you. Look at our display cabinets. Only cake. And last, there were no nuts of any kind anywhere near your or anyone else’s food here. My husband is so allergic to all kind of nuts that we can’t even eat out anymore. He once served someone who had peanut butter for breakfast and he broke out in a rash and his hand swelled from touching the money. This is a 100% nut free shop. You walked past a sign on the window saying there are no nuts in our food.”

    Customer: “You just don’t want to give me my money back.”

    Me: “You didn’t pay. Your daughter paid with her debit card. If she comes in, with your grandson’s hospital discharge papers, I will refund her. Other than that I’ll assume that she over ordered, spent too much money, regrets it, and sent you to try and trick us. I have your daughter’s details here. If you don’t leave I’ll have to call her and tell her you are making fraudulent claims and I will contact the police.”

    Customer: *recoiling a bit and deciding to leave* “I think I’ll send my daughter in here to sort this out.”

    (As she leaves I realise all our other customers are staring at me.)

    Other Customer: “Do you think I could get a wrongly filled sandwich and a hazelnut birthday cake?”

    (At least that lightened the mood.)

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