Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,200 thumbs up)
  • Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Contains Refunds Not Suitable For A Younger Audience

    | Surrey, England, UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV

    (My colleague has kicked out a pair of boys from a 15-rated film. Managers have stated to us in the past that screen jumpers do not get refunds.)

    Boy: “We want our money back!”

    Colleague: “I’ll talk to the manager.”

    (My colleague goes behind the concession stand for a couple of minutes and comes out.)

    Colleague: “My manager says he will not be issuing you a refund.”

    Boy: “Then let us back into our film!”

    Colleague: “No.”

    (My colleague leaves me standing on gate with these boys.)

    Boy: “Why can’t you let us back in?”

    Me: “You’ve broken the contract you signed by buying a ticket, which states that refunds are not issued, that you will go to the film on your ticket and not into one you’ve been refused entry to, and you’ve broken the trust in our staff that you will keep your deal.”

    Boy: “Well, we’re not leaving until we get our money back.”

    Me: “You’ve broken your side of the bargain. We have a zero tolerance policy against people who run between screens for any reason and thus we will not be issuing you a refund. Your threat can be seen as harassment, and at this point your only options are to leave this building, or go home escorted by the police. I really don’t mind which.”

    (The boys hesitate, and then run off!)

    Stamping Out Stamp Fraud

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer and his two teenage children come into the store at the beginning of every month, when they get their food stamps. We don’t sell a lot of food – being a drugstore – but we have basic essentials like bread and milk, and also candy. Every month, they would spend their food stamps on the most expensive candy we have. A few days later, they would return it, without the receipt, which rewards them with a store gift card. They would then use the gift card to get things they really wanted. It takes several months of the same cashier/manager combination to figure this scam out, because they try to buy and return from different cashiers at different times of the day. When we finally catch on, the next time they try to return items for a gift card, they were informed that we would NOT be giving them a gift card, nor accepting the return.)

    Customer: “Why not!? I return things here all the time! I’m a regular customer!”

    Manager: “You are returning food items that you bought with food stamps in order to get non-food items for free. That is a violation of the terms of the food stamp program. Goodbye.”

    Customer: *as he and his children are stomping off* “Well, we are NEVER coming here again!”

    (It was only three weeks until they were in the store again! Way to teach your children, Dad!)

    Not Noteworthy Enough For A Return

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I work as a cashier in a drugstore. I see a customer come in the front door empty handed as he goes to the back of the store. He comes to me with a pricey protein pack.)

    Customer: “I want my money back for that protein pack. It’s $60.”

    Me: “Do you have your invoice?”

    Customer: “No, I forgot it at home.”

    Me: “I can’t pay you back.”

    Customer: “Keep it for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

    (The customer comes back 15 minutes later.)

    Customer: “I didn’t find the receipt, but I’m going to buy it instead.”

    Me: “It’s going to cost $60.”

    (The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

    Me: “I can’t accept that. It’s a fake.”

    Customer: “No, I’m sure it’s real. How can you tell?”

    Me: “You only printed it on one side, and it’s black and white.”

    The Key Tipped Them Off

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in a licensee location of a popular shop, meaning it’s inside of a bigger store. After I have closed and mopped, I go to put the mop away in the back room. I notice a young man walk up to my shop and eye me as I walk away, but I don’t think anything of it. When I come back, I notice he has reached around the counter to grab the key to our bolted-down tip jar and is fumbling to get it off.)

    Me: “Hello. Can I help you?”

    Customer: *quickly hides the key behind his back and grabs a gift card on display* “Yeah. I was just wondering how much you can put on a gift card?”

    Me: “I don’t know. I think it’s as much as you want. Can I have the key back, please?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: *peeking around his back* “The key, please.”

    Customer: “Oh! Um… sorry.”

    (The customer hands me the key back, acting like he didn’t realize he even had it, before walking away. When I go back behind the counter, he felt obligated to come back and tell me that he found the key somewhere else and was trying to return it! Smooth move, pal.)

    This Scam Is Not Ready To Roll

    | UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    (We are known for our breakfast rolls, which can have five different toppings. This morning two students walk in.)

    Student #1: “Hi. I’ll have a breakfast roll please.”

    Me: “Sure thing! What would you like on it?”

    Student #1: “I’ll have sausage, bacon, beans, tomatoes and a hash brown.”

    (I set about making his sandwich while my coworker serves his friend. They pay and I hand [Student #1] his sandwich. He opens the box, looks at his sandwich, nods, and goes upstairs. One hour later, he comes back down.)

    Student #1: “There are no mushrooms on this.”

    Me: “You didn’t ask for any.”

    Student#1: “B****! I want my food for free!”

    (This continues for a few minutes before I explain to the customer that I charged him for a five-item breakfast roll, so he didn’t pay for mushrooms. Regardless, at any point during the hour he’d been there he could have come down and asked for mushrooms, and he’d checked the sandwich before he went upstairs!)

    Student #2: *laughs* “I told you it wouldn’t work!”

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