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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Cutting Down Credit Fraud

    | Managua, Nicaragua | Liars & Scammers, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hey man! I got some fraudulent charges on my credit card.”

    Me: “Ok sir, I understand let me help you report this.”

    Caller: “Don’t worry son, I already took care of it.”

    Me: “So you already called to report it?”

    Caller: “No son, I cut my credit card in thousands of pieces. Now I need a new one.”

    Taxing Faxing, Part 5

    | Fond du Lac, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “Can you make a copy of my fax papers?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    Customer: “Okay, now fax them.”

    (I go over to the fax machine and send them; I come back with the papers.)

    Customer: “I thought you were going to fax my papers?”

    Me: “I just did.”

    Customer: “Then why are the papers in your hands still?”

    Me: “What are you talking about?”

    Customer: “When you fax something, it sends the papers to them instantly doesn’t it?”

    Me: “Yes, because it scans them and sends it.”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought it sent the papers instantly to the number.”

    Me: “Phone lines can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Well I guess I didn’t need the copies then. Do I still have to pay for them if I give them back to you to get rid of?”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    Best Quote An Alternator Price

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Auto Parts], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I need an alternator for my vehicle.”

    (I look up his car and the alternator.)

    Me: “Okay, the one we have in stock is $79.99.”

    Caller: “$49.99?”

    Me: “No, sir, $79.99.”

    Caller: “$49.99?”

    Me: “$79.99.”

    Caller: “Hey, you said $79.99!”

    Me: “Indeed I did, sir!”

    Feline Felony

    | Christchurch, New Zealand | Liars & Scammers, Pets & Animals

    (I am finishing my break and heading back to the checkout, a woman frantically calls me over and asks me if she’s allowed to take a free cat food sample, and I tell her yes. About 10 minutes later she comes through my lane, with 50 or more cat food samples stuffed down her top, cradled in her arms, and in her handbag.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, the free samples are one per customer.”

    Customer: “I was just picking some up for my friends.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but your friends will have to come and pick up their own sample.”

    (She sighs and throws all the samples that she was holding in her arms onto my checkout.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you also have a lot more of our samples down your top and in your bag. You can’t have those ones, either.”

    Customer: “How dare you! I will have you know that I am currently eight months pregnant!”

    Me: “I told you that you could have a free sample ten minutes ago, and you weren’t pregnant then.”

    Customer: “Oh, s***!”

    (She empties all the samples from down her top onto the floor and sprints from the store, trailing escaped samples from her handbag as she goes.)

    Wrong Said Fred

    | New York, NY, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top

    Me: “May I help you?”

    Caller: “Please put me through to [owner].”

    Me: “Sure, who’s calling please?”

    Caller: “His cousin Fred.”

    Me: “I didn’t know he had a cousin Fred.”

    Caller: “Why would you? You just answer phones! This is a family affair and none of your business! Who do you think you are anyway?”

    Me: “[Owner]‘s daughter.” *click*

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