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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Lost A Sense Of Irony

    | Wildwood, NJ, USA | Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “Hi, can I check your lost and found? I think I left my phone here the other night.”

    Me: “Sure.” *gets out box* “Here you go.”

    Customer: *rummages through the box* “Whoa!”

    (She finds a very expensive MP3 player and begins to pocket it.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you said you left your phone here.”

    Customer: “Yea so? I still want this.”

    Me: “But it’s not yours, someone else lost it and will probably be looking for it.”

    Customer: “Well if they were stupid enough to lose something so expensive they don’t deserve to have it! Oh, here’s my phone!”

    (She walks away with her brand new iPhone 4.)

    Popcon

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV

    (A customer walks up holding a large red bag of popcorn to be refilled.)

    Customer: “Hi, could I please get a refill?”

    Me: “Did you buy this popcorn today?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s weird because we stopped selling these popcorn bags a month ago. We have black bags now.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    On Completely Different Wavelengths

    | Chesapeake, VA, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers

    (Note: the caller ID shows an out of town number.)

    Caller: “Uh, hi. My room radio doesn’t work anymore.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. What room are you in?”

    Caller: “Oh, no, I’m at home! I took the radio home and now the buttons on top don’t work. It’s just fuzz! No music!”

    Me: “Wait. So you stole a radio, took it home, and now you’re calling because the pre-assigned buttons don’t work?”

    Caller: “Can you fix it or not?!”

    Getting Landlines Tangled

    | Ireland | Liars & Scammers

    (I call the customer.)

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hello, this is [me], may I please speak to [customer]?”

    Customer: “Yes, speaking.”

    Me: “I am calling from [company name]. There is a slight issue with your account. Do you have a moment to discuss this issue now?”

    *long pause*

    Customer: “Hello? Hello?! Sorry, I have terrible reception here.”

    Me: “Sir, I am speaking to you on your home phone.”

    Customer: “What?!” *hangs up*

    The Cup Is Half Empty Kinda Guy

    | Norway | Liars & Scammers, Money

    (The chain we are a part of has a free coffee/warm beverage deal if you buy a cup with their brand, new each year of course. A customer comes to cash registry with smoking hot cup of warm coffee and a candy bar. The cup clearly states it is from 2005.)

    Me: “That’s [price] sir.”

    Customer: *shouting* “What?! For one lousy candy bar? Are you insane?”

    Me: “No sir, that’s for the candy bar, and for the hot beverage.”

    Customer: “This is a brand new cup! I bought it last week. Don’t try to rip me off!”

    (I point out the 2005 and he stares blankly at me for a second.)

    Customer: “But I have a gold card! I’m entitled to coffee all year long!”

    Me: “No, sir, you’re entitled to one cup. If you lose the cup, or fail to bring it, then you must pay for it.”

    Customer: “I shouldn’t have to pay for things that I buy!”


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