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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Two And A Half Customers

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (Our salon requires a credit card hold for parties of three or more to discourage last-minute cancellations. It doesn’t matter how old the customers are. Whether they are 3-year-olds or 80-year-olds, we still reserve a spot for them regardless. We have a lot of customers who try to get around the credit card rule.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [salon], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I wanted to make appointments for two people today.”

    Me: “Sure, what kind of services would you like?”

    Caller: “Two pedicures.”

    (I book the appointments, confirm with the caller, and am about to end the call.)

    Caller: “I also wanted to bring my daughter in for a kid’s pedi.”

    Me: “Oh okay, so you’re actually booking for three people?”

    Caller: *sounding annoyed* “Does she even count? She’s just a kid.”

    Me: “Yes, she does. She’s still a person.”

    Caller: “That’s ridiculous!”

    Speaking Of Rips…

    | Bella Vista, AR, USA | Liars & Scammers

    (I’m in the lawn and garden section and see a lady looking at some flowers. I see her pull a flowerpot off of the rack and tear the plastic container apart. She then turns around and sees me.)

    Customer: “The packaging on this item is broken. Can I get a discount?”

    Me: *unsure of how to respond* “Let me get you my manager, ma’am.”

    (I explain the situation to my manager on the way over.)

    Customer: “The packaging on this item was broken. Can I get a discount?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, we can’t give discounts on items that you yourself have broken.”

    Customer: “What a rip-off!” *leaves store*

    Egg On Your Face

    | Washington, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I’m kind of petite, so when I’m in the box office I get a lot of kids who seem to think they can intimidate me into selling them R-rated tickets. This particular customer is a classmate of my little sister’s who annoys everyone by walking around repeating ‘I like eggs’ over and over and over again.)

    Kid: “Me and my friend want to see Beerfest.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you the ticket.”

    Kid: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “You’re not 17.”

    Kid: “How the h*** do you know?”

    Me: “One, you don’t look it. Two, you’re in my sister’s class.”

    (The kid stomps off, and goes to the other side of the box office to try the same thing. When it doesn’t work, he comes back with his father.)

    Kid’s Father: “Let me get this straight. It’s a movie theater…and you can’t discriminate against customers…but you won’t let my boy into that movie because he’s too young?!”

    Me: “It’s rated R, sir.”

    Kid’s Father: *to his son* “You told me it was PG-13.”

    Kid: “She’s lying!”

    Me: “Sir, the marquee says it’s rated R. Any website you look at will say it’s rated R. There’s really no way to lie about it.”

    Kid’s Father: “I guess that means I have to go with him, huh?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Kid’s Father: *to his son* “That’s it. You’re waiting for DVD.”

    Kid: “This is so not fair! You can’t do this to me!” *to me* “Don’t you know who I am?!”

    Me: *calmly* “My sister tells me you like eggs.”

    Kid’s Father: *laughs hysterically* “If I could give you a high five, I would!”

    Caught Red-Handed, Part 3

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Note: I work at a thrift store. It’s quite common for people to pull off price tags in an effort to get a lower price. Most of the time it works, but occasionally we’ll catch someone doing it. This night, my boss approaches me holding a tag that says “$6.99″.)

    Boss: *hands me a tag* “I just watched a family in housewares pull this tag off of a metal basket. So, if they ask what price it is, it’s $6.99.”

    (Just as my boss predicted, the family comes up ten minutes later with the metal basket, just before closing. The husband begins talking to me.)

    Customer: *feigning ignorance* “Oh, so what’s the price on this basket?”

    Me: “It’s $6.99.”

    Customer: *indignant* “Really?!”

    (I pull out the $6.99 price tag they ripped off earlier.)

    Me: “Yeah, really.”

    Customer: “Oh, s***.”

    (I love my work sometimes.)

    Related:
    Caught Red-Handed, Part 2
    Caught Red-Handed

    Will Someone Please Think Of The Caviar

    | Ohio, USA | Liars & Scammers

    (A customer is calling in regarding a 5-day hold we have on his deposit of a personal check for $150,000. Note that in the 3 months he has been a customer, his account has been negative 60 times and has an average daily balance of $75.00—hence the hold.)

    Customer: “You need to give me all my money now! My family is starving. We have no money to pay for food! I am going to the local news and telling them about how you big banks are forcing us to starve to death!”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we did give you $1000 of that deposit immediately. Due to the large amount of the check, you will have to wait for the hold to be lifted.”

    Customer: “But my children are starving! How can you be so cruel and starve children?!”

    Me: “Sir, we are your bank. I can see everything you have spent with your debit card, and I see you went to [upscale restaurant] and spent $250 last night on dinner.”

    Customer: “Well…the lobster was under-prepared. Do you really expect my children to be forced to eat like that?! This isn’t a third world country! What is wrong with you?? They are starving!”

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