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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    This Deal’s A Steal, Because It Ain’t For Real

    | Adelaide, Australia | Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “Hello, my sister just bought this item at one of your other stores, and it was much cheaper. Here it’s $49, but she got hers for $20. You should do this for the same price.”

    Me: “Hmm, that’s odd. All stores should have the same sales, and that item is already on a very good special. I don’t think it would go for $20. But I will check with the store to see if this was on special there, and if it is we can do it for the same price. Which store did your sister go to? I’ll call them now.”

    Customer: “Oh, here…I’ll call my sister, and she’ll tell you that she got it cheaper!”

    Me: “I actually need to call the store she was at and speak to a staff member who can check for me. Your sister can tell me the price, but I can’t authorise a price override just from talking to another customer. I need to speak to the other store.”

    (The customer ignores me and dials her sister anyway. She speaks to her in another language for a while, then hands the phone to me.)

    Me: “Hi, this is [name] from [store]. Your sister tells me you got a [item] for a discounted price?”

    Customer’s Sister: “Yes, I got it for $20 at another store today.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s great, but I’m going to have to call that store to check. Which one did you go to?”

    Customer’s Sister: “Uh…the [suburb] store.”

    Me: “Oh? That’s very interesting, since they closed down three and a half years ago. Thanks for your time!”

    Customer: *quickly leaves without her item*

    No Scan, No Scam

    | Newton, NJ, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I work in a store in a small town where most of the customers are elderly and sweet. If a price doesn’t come up, I will generally trust a customer if they say they know the exact price.)

    Me: “Oh, there’s no bar code on this.”

    Customer: “Well, it was $39.99, but I guess that doesn’t help you.”

    Me: “Well, I can enter it manually. You’re sure it was $39.99?”

    Customer: “Actually, it was…$19.99.”

    Me: “Sir, do you really want me to call for a price check and make you and all the people behind you wait ten minutes for someone to come up here?”

    Customer: *defeated* “…It was $39.99.”

    Slob Calling The Coffee Black

    | Rhode Island, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (I am walking down one of our grocery store’s aisles when I overhear a couple talking.)

    Husband: “Crap, I dropped my coffee. Honey, find some paper towels.”

    Wife: “What?! No! Just leave it there. They have people walk around and clean up these things. It’s fine!”

    Husband: “Um, I—”

    Wife: “Just leave it! We have too much to do.”

    (The wife then turns and sees me. She doesn’t miss a beat.)

    Wife: “Someone just dropped this and left it. People are slobs. You should clean this up before someone gets hurt!”

    The Strong Arm Of The Law

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Our store buys used video games to resell. It’s not uncommon for people to try to sell stolen merchandise, so we have a “bad trader” list. Two teens walk in, and one of them is on our list. I recognize them immediately.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [store name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, I want to trade some games in.”

    (Customer #1 hands me a stack of games, but it’s just discs…no cases.)

    Me: “Are you over 18 with a valid picture ID?”

    Customer #1: “No, but he is.”

    Customer #2: *hands me his ID*

    (I quickly look through the games. I take Customer #2′s ID and verify he is on our bad trader list.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take these.”

    Customer #1: “Man, why not?!”

    Me: “We just don’t need these in stock right now.”

    Customer #1: *getting aggressive* “I trade in here all time! You gotta take my games. There ain’t nothin wrong with ‘em!”

    Me: *stalling* “We can’t take them. I can check the computer and tell you what they’re worth, but I can’t take them.”

    Customer #1: “Okay, yeah…check ‘em.”

    (While I’m checking the games, a really big, burly guy walks in.)

    Burly Guy: *to me* “Ma’am, don’t give them any money for those games! I saw them steal those games from [retailer] across the street and take them out out of their packaging before coming in here.”

    (At this point, Customer #1 starts edging towards the door. The burly guy reaches out and grabs him by his collar with one hand.)

    Burly Guy: *whips out his police badge* “If you take one more step, I WILL taze you!”

    (The two thieves were arrested right then and there!)

    Employees Are Sharper Than You Think

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (Pharmacy law in Utah says that it’s up to the pharmacist’s discretion if they want to sell insulin needles/syringes without a prescription. Our store has the policy that the patient either has to have a prescription for the syringes or for an injectable medication on file.)

    Customer: “I need to get some syringes.”

    Me: “Okay, I need your name so I can look up the prescription.”

    Customer: “Actually, they’re not for me. They’re for my mom.”

    Me: “Okay, what’s her name?”

    Customer: “Well, not my mom. My best friend’s mom who’s like a mom to me.”

    Me: “What’s her name?”

    Customer: “Actually, it’s for her dog.”

    Me: “What’s the dog’s name?”

    Customer: “I…don’t know.”

    Me: “Then I’m not selling you any syringes.”

    Customer: *walks away in defeat*

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