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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    It’s Best To Book It

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I’m the merchandising manager of a large bookstore. I see a man looking around for books. He seems quite perplexed, so I try to help him.)

    Me: “May I help you, sir?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m having a h*** of a time finding these books on my list.”

    Me: “What’s the first book?”

    (I help him find half the books on the list, but he seems to be having a hard time reading the list. )

    Me: “Maybe you could just give me the list, and I’ll find them for you?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes!”

    (He hands me a crumpled receipt from my store.)

    Me: “So, you want to replace these books you purchased before?”

    Customer: “Well, no… I was thinking I could get these books, take them to the front counter with the receipt and get money baaaaaa—” *trails off*

    (There’s a bit of deadly silence as the customer realizes that he’s been caught.)

    Customer: “I guess that won’t work now, huh?”

    Me: “I think you should leave the store, sir. Have a nice day.”

    Not The Britest Bagel In The Bunch

    | Rhode Island, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I’m a baker of the store, so I make all the donuts, bagels and muffins three days a week. This particular day I have finished baking and am now working on sandwich station. My hair is often multi-colored, so my coworkers call me ‘Rainbow Brite.’)

    Customer: “The girl making sandwiches got this hair in my food.”

    Coworker: “Oh, I’m very sorry, ma’am. Let me see that and we’ll remake it for you.”

    (The customer hands over a bagel which has a long blond hair sticking out of the cream cheese. My hair is short and currently black with pink/purple bangs. However, the customer’s daughter has long blond hair. Also, we don’t have a single blond girl working at our store—just two blond boys who have buzzcuts.)

    Coworker: “Well, ma’am, while this hair didn’t come from her, I’ll have her make it over for you anyways.”

    Customer: “Of course it’s her hair! Who else’s hair could it be?! I bet you are just covering for her. Let me speak to the person in charge.”

    Coworker: “Rainbow Brite, she wants to talk to you.”

    Me: *smiles* “Hi, hun, can I help you with something?”

    Customer: “I found this long blond hair in my bagel. Your coworker accused me of lying when I said it came from the girl making sandwiches!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I can tell you she was telling the truth that the hair didn’t come from the sandwich girl, because that’s me, and my hair is neither blond nor long. However, I can remake your bagel and give you a refund if you would like.”

    Customer: “How dare you accuse me of lying?! I demand a refund!”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. Let me make your bagel again.”

    (I remake her bagel and give her a refund. As she’s walking out, her daughter speaks.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Mommy, why were you so mean to her? You got my hair in the bagel, not her!”

    Customer: *turns bright red and leaves in a hurry*

    Would You Like Your Scam For Here Or To Go

    , | Missouri, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (It is not very busy, but we are short-staffed so everyone is working hard. My manager helps me bag a particularly big order.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, I believe my manager and I got all of your food. But, just in case, let me go over your receipt again.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (We go over the receipt together and find everything is correct.)

    Customer: “Thank you, dear.”

    Me: “You are very welcome, ma’am!”

    Manager: “Did you go over her order again before you let her leave?”

    Me: “Yes!”

    (Five minutes later a man walks in brandishing a receipt and yelling.)

    Man: “You idiots messed up my order!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Can I help you?”

    Man: “Yeah, I came through drive-thru and didn’t get half of my order!”

    (I look over the receipt and see it is from the previous customer that I just helped.)

    Me: “Sir, I don’t think this is your order. I packed this order a few minutes ago, and it was for a lady on counter.”

    Man: “How dare you accuse me of lying! I want to talk to your manager!”

    Me: “Fine.”

    (The manager proceeds to tell him the same thing, but he won’t stop screaming at her. Eventually, he demands to see the store manager.)

    Store Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Man: “Look, I came through the drive-thru. This is my receipt, but your stupid employees won’t give me my food!”

    Store Manager: “Well, sir, I am certain this is not your receipt.”

    Man: “Oh yeah? Prove it!”

    Store Manager: “Well, the top of the receipt says the order was taken from the register at the counter, which means it could not have been for a drive-thru order. And, according to the receipt, this was ‘Katie’s’ order. You don’t look like a ‘Katie.’”

    Man: *thinks for a minute, then leaves defeated*

    Pleased To Fake Your Acquaintance

    | Kansas, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top, Underaged

    (I am working the overnight shift at a gas station when a young woman approaches and asks for a pack of cigarettes. She looks a bit young, so I ask for an ID. I glance at it and see that she is indeed old enough, but there is something just a bit off about the ID. We’re instructed to verify some information when we’re not sure if an ID is real or not.)

    Me: “Okay, what’s your date of birth?”

    Customer: *correctly states the DOB on the id*

    Me: “Good, what street do you live on?”

    Customer: “Washington.”

    Me: “So far, so good. One last question. What class did we have together our freshman year?”

    Customer: “Uh…”

    Me: “Nice try. I can’t accept this ID. Say hi to your sister for me, though.”

    A Killer Whale Of A Story

    | Netherlands | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (It’s nearing the end of summer and my coworker and I are clearing away the summer theming in our shop window to make place for something else. This happens as I’m about to cut up an inflatable Orca.)

    Child: “No, don’t kill it! Can I please have it?”

    Coworker #1: “Yeah, sure.”

    Child: “Yes! I can take it home and care for it in our pool. It needs water to live in!”

    Coworker #1: *hands the child the toy* “Now, be very careful with it because it’s very fragile—”

    Child: *runs out of the store to his mother before my coworker can finish*

    Me: “How cute, I bet he’ll take good care—”

    Mother: *smacks the inflatable against a few objects and stamps on it with her high heels*

    Me: “Never mind…”

    (About an hour passes as I overhear a conversation going on at the till. I notice the child with his mother and the popped toy.)

    Mother: “Well, clearly it’s faulty. Look at it! It’s full of holes, and that was out of the packaging!”

    Coworker #2: “I’m really sorry, but without a receipt I cannot provide you with a new one.”

    Mother: *to her child* “Do you hear that? They sell me a broken toy and refuse to replace it. I want to speak to the manager!”

    Me: “Excuse me, miss, but I believe a colleague of mine gave your child that toy and you destroyed it just outside the shop.”

    Mother: “How dare you make such an accusation? Who do you think you are?”

    Me: “I’m the person that set up the display with that same toy several months before. I marked it with a black pen around the valve noting that it would be destroyed at the end of the display time. I’m also the person that was there watching you destroy the toy outside.”

    Mother: “That is a lie and I want a new toy!”

    Coworker #2: “I cannot give you a new one without your receipt.”

    Child: “Mommy, you said that if you made it leaky, you could get me a brand new one for free!”

    Mother: “Well, you will because I know I’m right and they are wrong. I’ll just buy you a new one and send in a complaint on their website!”

    (The mother proceeds to buy a new inflatable orca. It’s a size smaller and a different color then the one from the display since we didn’t have anymore large ones.)

    Mother: *to her child* “See, if you are smart and cunning, you get what you want whenever you want!”

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