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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    A Killer Whale Of A Story

    | Netherlands | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (It’s nearing the end of summer and my coworker and I are clearing away the summer theming in our shop window to make place for something else. This happens as I’m about to cut up an inflatable Orca.)

    Child: “No, don’t kill it! Can I please have it?”

    Coworker #1: “Yeah, sure.”

    Child: “Yes! I can take it home and care for it in our pool. It needs water to live in!”

    Coworker #1: *hands the child the toy* “Now, be very careful with it because it’s very fragile—”

    Child: *runs out of the store to his mother before my coworker can finish*

    Me: “How cute, I bet he’ll take good care—”

    Mother: *smacks the inflatable against a few objects and stamps on it with her high heels*

    Me: “Never mind…”

    (About an hour passes as I overhear a conversation going on at the till. I notice the child with his mother and the popped toy.)

    Mother: “Well, clearly it’s faulty. Look at it! It’s full of holes, and that was out of the packaging!”

    Coworker #2: “I’m really sorry, but without a receipt I cannot provide you with a new one.”

    Mother: *to her child* “Do you hear that? They sell me a broken toy and refuse to replace it. I want to speak to the manager!”

    Me: “Excuse me, miss, but I believe a colleague of mine gave your child that toy and you destroyed it just outside the shop.”

    Mother: “How dare you make such an accusation? Who do you think you are?”

    Me: “I’m the person that set up the display with that same toy several months before. I marked it with a black pen around the valve noting that it would be destroyed at the end of the display time. I’m also the person that was there watching you destroy the toy outside.”

    Mother: “That is a lie and I want a new toy!”

    Coworker #2: “I cannot give you a new one without your receipt.”

    Child: “Mommy, you said that if you made it leaky, you could get me a brand new one for free!”

    Mother: “Well, you will because I know I’m right and they are wrong. I’ll just buy you a new one and send in a complaint on their website!”

    (The mother proceeds to buy a new inflatable orca. It’s a size smaller and a different color then the one from the display since we didn’t have anymore large ones.)

    Mother: *to her child* “See, if you are smart and cunning, you get what you want whenever you want!”

    This Deal’s A Steal, Because It Ain’t For Real

    | Adelaide, Australia | Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “Hello, my sister just bought this item at one of your other stores, and it was much cheaper. Here it’s $49, but she got hers for $20. You should do this for the same price.”

    Me: “Hmm, that’s odd. All stores should have the same sales, and that item is already on a very good special. I don’t think it would go for $20. But I will check with the store to see if this was on special there, and if it is we can do it for the same price. Which store did your sister go to? I’ll call them now.”

    Customer: “Oh, here…I’ll call my sister, and she’ll tell you that she got it cheaper!”

    Me: “I actually need to call the store she was at and speak to a staff member who can check for me. Your sister can tell me the price, but I can’t authorise a price override just from talking to another customer. I need to speak to the other store.”

    (The customer ignores me and dials her sister anyway. She speaks to her in another language for a while, then hands the phone to me.)

    Me: “Hi, this is [name] from [store]. Your sister tells me you got a [item] for a discounted price?”

    Customer’s Sister: “Yes, I got it for $20 at another store today.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s great, but I’m going to have to call that store to check. Which one did you go to?”

    Customer’s Sister: “Uh…the [suburb] store.”

    Me: “Oh? That’s very interesting, since they closed down three and a half years ago. Thanks for your time!”

    Customer: *quickly leaves without her item*

    No Scan, No Scam

    | Newton, NJ, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I work in a store in a small town where most of the customers are elderly and sweet. If a price doesn’t come up, I will generally trust a customer if they say they know the exact price.)

    Me: “Oh, there’s no bar code on this.”

    Customer: “Well, it was $39.99, but I guess that doesn’t help you.”

    Me: “Well, I can enter it manually. You’re sure it was $39.99?”

    Customer: “Actually, it was…$19.99.”

    Me: “Sir, do you really want me to call for a price check and make you and all the people behind you wait ten minutes for someone to come up here?”

    Customer: *defeated* “…It was $39.99.”

    Slob Calling The Coffee Black

    | Rhode Island, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (I am walking down one of our grocery store’s aisles when I overhear a couple talking.)

    Husband: “Crap, I dropped my coffee. Honey, find some paper towels.”

    Wife: “What?! No! Just leave it there. They have people walk around and clean up these things. It’s fine!”

    Husband: “Um, I—”

    Wife: “Just leave it! We have too much to do.”

    (The wife then turns and sees me. She doesn’t miss a beat.)

    Wife: “Someone just dropped this and left it. People are slobs. You should clean this up before someone gets hurt!”

    The Strong Arm Of The Law

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (Our store buys used video games to resell. It’s not uncommon for people to try to sell stolen merchandise, so we have a “bad trader” list. Two teens walk in, and one of them is on our list. I recognize them immediately.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [store name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, I want to trade some games in.”

    (Customer #1 hands me a stack of games, but it’s just discs…no cases.)

    Me: “Are you over 18 with a valid picture ID?”

    Customer #1: “No, but he is.”

    Customer #2: *hands me his ID*

    (I quickly look through the games. I take Customer #2′s ID and verify he is on our bad trader list.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take these.”

    Customer #1: “Man, why not?!”

    Me: “We just don’t need these in stock right now.”

    Customer #1: *getting aggressive* “I trade in here all time! You gotta take my games. There ain’t nothin wrong with ‘em!”

    Me: *stalling* “We can’t take them. I can check the computer and tell you what they’re worth, but I can’t take them.”

    Customer #1: “Okay, yeah…check ‘em.”

    (While I’m checking the games, a really big, burly guy walks in.)

    Burly Guy: *to me* “Ma’am, don’t give them any money for those games! I saw them steal those games from [retailer] across the street and take them out out of their packaging before coming in here.”

    (At this point, Customer #1 starts edging towards the door. The burly guy reaches out and grabs him by his collar with one hand.)

    Burly Guy: *whips out his police badge* “If you take one more step, I WILL taze you!”

    (The two thieves were arrested right then and there!)

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