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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Miss Management (Not Mrs)

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (A couple comes up to my checkout with a large amount of sporting goods.)

    Me: “Wow, looks like someone’s getting all their holiday shopping taken care of. Your total is [over $200].”

    Customer: “Ugh, no, it isn’t. My husband here is a manager with your company, so we get the employee discount.”

    Me: “Okay…” *leans over to the paging system* “Manager to register two, please.”

    Customer: *surprised* “Why did you just call a manager?”

    Me: “Because you said you and your husband were getting the employee discount.”

    Customer: “Oh, what, and you don’t believe me? You think my husband can’t be a manager because we’re [race], is that it?!”

    Me: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

    Customer: “I’m talking about you calling the manager on us because you’re a f***ing racist. I’ll have you know we drive a BMW and have a lot more money than anyone here, especially a minimum wage nobody like you!”

    (She goes on verbally attacking me, insulting my appearance, and just sounding generally crazy. Her husband is quietly standing behind her looking very nervous, but puts a restraining hand on her when she threatens to come behind the counter and teach me a lesson. At some point, the manager I paged approaches the counter.)

    Manager: “Hey, how come you called?”

    Customer: “Are you the manager? I have a complaint! Your employee here is a racist and should be fired for discrimination!”

    Manager: “What happened?”

    Customer: “Little-Miss-Hair-In-Her-Face over here called a manager when I told her my husband was getting the employee discount. We shop here all the time and we’ve never been treated with such disrespect.”

    Manager: “Okay. Well, we can give you a discount once we get this cleared up.”

    Customer: *shoots a smug nasty look at me*

    Manager: “So, since you shop here all the time and work for our company, of course you know that in order to get checked out with an employee discount a store manager has to enter his number and authorization code. Now, I just need his employee number and you’re set.”

    Customer: “…What?”

    Manager: “The employee identification number, we all have one in our system. He does have one, right?”

    Customer: “When I said he worked here, I was just kidding. But she called a manager because she’s a racist!”

    Manager: “No, you weren’t kidding. You were trying to scam her. She called me because she was following the procedure to prevent people like you from getting away with it. I’m voiding your transaction. Please leave.”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah? We’ll go to the news! Once everyone hears how racist this place is your store will be shut down!”

    (The customer’s husband, who has been frozen in silence up until this point, suddenly speaks up.)

    Husband: “No, you absolutely will not. You’ve already embarrassed us enough and dragged me into your bull****. Don’t even think about dragging me onto TV! I like this store. Now how am I supposed to show my face here? It’s bad enough to have a crazy, meana** girlfriend who lies like she breathes, but every time I take you out I’m lucky if the cops don’t get called. Now get in my crappy Volvo everyone can see from the window. I’m taking you home!”

    (Just as the customer’s ‘husband’ said, he was not only not an employee, but he wasn’t even married to her. He came back to the store a few days later and apologized for her behavior, and told us he had dumped her that evening. Because he was so nice about it my manager told him he wasn’t banned, and when the guy tried to purchase some of the items he’d been trying to pick up the last time my manager gave him a small discount.)

    Can’t Make The Lie Stick

    | Gainesville, FL, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money

    Customer: “Is this book on sale?”

    Me: “No, sir. It doesn’t have a discount sticker, so it’s not on any of our sales.”

    Customer: “But I found it on a display where every other book had a sticker!”

    Me: “Which display? If you show me, I’ll look at the sign and see if we made a mistake.”

    Customer: “Um. I don’t know. Over there somewhere. But don’t you think it’s misleading if every other book has a sticker except this one?”

    Me: “Again, if you show me the display, I’ll figure out if you can get a discount.”

    (The customer finally leads me to the display, looking defeated. Turns out he was making that face because he knew he was lying. The display contained 25 titles: 8 of them had a discount sticker of some kind. I’m bad at math, but even I know 8 out of 25 and 24 out of 25 isn’t the same thing. And no, he did not get a discount.)

    DVDishonesty

    | Ardmore, OK, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I am working the self checkouts. A family has just voided an item off their ticket and I come over to see what’s up. They consist of a mother, a father, and a 6- or 7-year-old boy. They are of Hispanic descent and seem to speak primarily Spanish.)

    Me: “Hi, is anything wrong?”

    Mother: “This movie is ringing up for $16-something, but we got it out of the $5 bin.”

    Little Boy: “Wait, no we didn’t! We got it off the shelf!”

    (The mother hits the little boy admonishingly, says something in Spanish, and then hurries off. The father, however, lingers behind.)

    Father: “I’m so sorry!” *leaves*

    Phone-y Claim

    | Norway | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Top

    (A young couple known for having drug problems regularly hangs out at our store. One day, the girl is so high she trips over her own feet and falls outside our door. Her boyfriend makes a huge fuss and claim we have to pay for it because she ruined it at our property. We check with our main office and discover we have no legal duty to pay her. A few weeks pass before they show up at our store again.)

    Me: “Welcome to [store], how can I help you?”

    Girl: “Don’t you remember me? I fell outside of here. It’s your store’s fault because the ground was uneven. That’s dangerous.”

    (The ground outside was fine, and had been when she fell, but I didn’t want to argue.)

    Me: “Oh, yes, I remember that, I hope you feel better from that fall.”

    Girl: “Well, my phone got broken.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

    Girl: “It’s your store’s fault it got broken. You should pay up so I can buy a new one.”

    Me: “How is it broken?”

    Girl: “The screen is broken and nothing works. I can’t read messages or take calls or anything. It’s just ruined.”

    Me: “Well, here’s the address to the main office, you can mail them and make your claim.”

    Girl: “No. I need the cash.”

    Me: “I can’t give out cash for a broken phone I haven’t seen, for a price I don’t even know is legit.”

    (The girl grumbles and cusses for a while, but agrees to write up a claim to send. Meanwhile, her phone starts to ring and she answers it, talking to her boyfriend.)

    Me: “Was that the ruined phone?”

    Girl: “Yes, look at that crack!”

    (She shows me a small hairline crack at the side, but it’s otherwise functioning properly.)

    Me: “You said it couldn’t even make phone calls.”

    Girl: *turns a pale and walks out without a word*

    (Thankfully, we never saw her again.)

    Getting Out Of A Scrape

    | Cuyahoga Falls, OH, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (I work for a well-known electronics store chain that has their own repair section for electronics. A high school-aged customer brings in her laptop to be checked out.)

    Customer: “I have no idea what’s wrong! It just won’t do anything.”

    (My coworker takes her laptop and runs a virus scan.)

    Coworker: “You have quite a few viruses. It’ll be [price] to remove them.”

    Customer: “Oh, but I have a warranty! Those are covered, right?”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, the plan you have only covers accidental physical damage.”

    Customer: “Who the f*** do you guys think you are? You’re nothing! You have to fix this!”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, we can’t unless you pay.”

    (The customer grabs the laptop and leaves the store. It’s a slow day, so we’re joking around near the front doors when we see the girl open her laptop, place it on the asphalt, step and scrape it into the ground, before picking it back up and bringing it back in.)

    Customer: “While I was walking to the car, I accidentally dropped it!”

    Me: “You know, we saw you scraping it up outside, right? You did it right in front of the window.”

    Customer: “NO, IT WAS ACCIDENTAL DAMAGE! YOU CAN’T PROVE THAT I DID THIS!”

    Coworker: “We can always go get the security footage.”

    (The customer made a huge fuss, so our manager agreed to take and send the laptop to the service center. Big surprise: it got sent back unrepaired because it wasn’t accidental damage.)

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