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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Not Noteworthy Enough For A Return

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I work as a cashier in a drugstore. I see a customer come in the front door empty handed as he goes to the back of the store. He comes to me with a pricey protein pack.)

    Customer: “I want my money back for that protein pack. It’s $60.”

    Me: “Do you have your invoice?”

    Customer: “No, I forgot it at home.”

    Me: “I can’t pay you back.”

    Customer: “Keep it for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

    (The customer comes back 15 minutes later.)

    Customer: “I didn’t find the receipt, but I’m going to buy it instead.”

    Me: “It’s going to cost $60.”

    (The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

    Me: “I can’t accept that. It’s a fake.”

    Customer: “No, I’m sure it’s real. How can you tell?”

    Me: “You only printed it on one side, and it’s black and white.”

    The Key Tipped Them Off

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in a licensee location of a popular shop, meaning it’s inside of a bigger store. After I have closed and mopped, I go to put the mop away in the back room. I notice a young man walk up to my shop and eye me as I walk away, but I don’t think anything of it. When I come back, I notice he has reached around the counter to grab the key to our bolted-down tip jar and is fumbling to get it off.)

    Me: “Hello. Can I help you?”

    Customer: *quickly hides the key behind his back and grabs a gift card on display* “Yeah. I was just wondering how much you can put on a gift card?”

    Me: “I don’t know. I think it’s as much as you want. Can I have the key back, please?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: *peeking around his back* “The key, please.”

    Customer: “Oh! Um… sorry.”

    (The customer hands me the key back, acting like he didn’t realize he even had it, before walking away. When I go back behind the counter, he felt obligated to come back and tell me that he found the key somewhere else and was trying to return it! Smooth move, pal.)

    This Scam Is Not Ready To Roll

    | UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    (We are known for our breakfast rolls, which can have five different toppings. This morning two students walk in.)

    Student #1: “Hi. I’ll have a breakfast roll please.”

    Me: “Sure thing! What would you like on it?”

    Student #1: “I’ll have sausage, bacon, beans, tomatoes and a hash brown.”

    (I set about making his sandwich while my coworker serves his friend. They pay and I hand [Student #1] his sandwich. He opens the box, looks at his sandwich, nods, and goes upstairs. One hour later, he comes back down.)

    Student #1: “There are no mushrooms on this.”

    Me: “You didn’t ask for any.”

    Student#1: “B****! I want my food for free!”

    (This continues for a few minutes before I explain to the customer that I charged him for a five-item breakfast roll, so he didn’t pay for mushrooms. Regardless, at any point during the hour he’d been there he could have come down and asked for mushrooms, and he’d checked the sandwich before he went upstairs!)

    Student #2: *laughs* “I told you it wouldn’t work!”

    Take Note Of The Note, Part 2

    | Auckland, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I’m a cashier and food server working alone on the morning shift in a small store. I have just served a customer and he is waiting for his fries to cook.)

    Customer #1: “How long until my chips are ready?”

    Me: “1 minute and 45 seconds away.”

    Customer #2: “Hey, man. I don’t mean to be a bother, but I’m in a hurry. Can you change some money for me?”

    Me: “Possibly. How much do you need changed?

    (Customer #2 holds up a $20 note.)

    Me: “Yeah, sure. Why not?” *I take the $20 off of him, and give him two $10 notes*

    Customer #2: “Thanks, man.” *leaves the store*

    (I have a funny feeling about the exchange, so when I put his note in the till, I fold the bill below just in case. A minute later…)

    Customer #2: “Hey, man. You only gave me $20. I gave you three $20 notes.”

    Me: “I’m 100% sure you only gave me $20.”

    (I am about to offer to take his details which is procedure in these circumstances when he cuts me off.)

    Customer #2: “Look, man. I’m not trying to scam you. My cousin gave me $60 and I needed them changed. They might have been stuck together and looked like one bill but there were three. I would like my $40.”

    Me: “I am 100% sure you only gave me $20. If you had asked to change $60 I would have said no in the first place. I also folded the bill below so I can check should a customer come back.”

    Customer #2: *about to begin arguing*

    Customer #1: “Dude, you only gave him $20.”

    Customer #2: *stammers* “Oh, really. My bad, then!”

    (Customer #2 walks of rather fast, only to stop at the door, come back, and grab the two $10 notes he’s left on the counter. A few seconds later, Customer #1′s order is ready.)

    Me: “Here’s your chips and some sauce on the house, for before.”

    Customer #1: “Thanks. So was that guy trying to scam you or what?! He seemed genuine and dodgy at the same time.”

    Me: “Yeah, but he didn’t come back to change the other $20 notes.”

    Customer #1: “I wouldn’t hate Monday mornings if I saw something that entertaining each week!”

    Related:
    Take Note Of The Note

    Telling Porkies About The Chicken

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in the meat department of a grocery store. A customer brings back a package of chicken to be exchanged. She does not have her receipt so I need to ensure we actually carry the chicken and also make sure I get the weight correct on her exchange. The chicken is wrapped in tin foil and then again in a plastic shopping bag. You could smell a faint odor when you get near it but as I deal with spoiled meat occasionally, it isn’t a big deal.)

    Customer: “I bought this yesterday and it’s spoiled. I just want to exchange it for the same thing.”

    Me: “That’s no problem, ma’am. Just let me get the brand and the size for you and I’ll get it.”

    Customer: “Oh, I really don’t think you want to open that dear. It’s pretty bad.”

    Me: “Be that as it may, I have to open it.”

    (Upon opening the initial plastic we discover the tin foil it’s wrapped in. The customer service associate next to me gags and runs from the room. The smell actually makes my throat burn. Nevertheless I have to open it. It’s wrapped in four layers of tin foil and 2 layers of plastic wrap. When I release the last layer of tin foil and can actually see the chicken, it actually makes a ‘burp’ sound as the gas is released. The chicken is green, like pea soup color. I cannot read the label, for all the slime, to see when the expiration date was.)

    Customer: “See, I told you! It’s awful! Wrap it back up, for goodness sake!”

    Me: “Ma’am, when did you say you bought this package?”

    Customer: “Yesterday morning. I was going to cook it for supper last night.”

    Me: “And it looked like that when you bought it?”

    Customer: “No, of course not. Who would buy chicken that looked like that!”

    Me: “I’m going to have to get my manager.”

    (My manager comes over and opens the chicken very briefly. He asks the same questions and gets the same answers.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, it’s 104 degrees outside. Did you, by chance, buy this a few days ago and leave it in your car?”

    Customer: ” Absolutely not! I bought it yesterday and I want another package of chicken! Now hurry up. I have things to do.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry; I can’t exchange this. There is no way this went bad in your refrigerator overnight. In fact, I think you could have left it on your counter and it wouldn’t smell this bad.”

    (After arguing about it for another 20 minutes the customer picked up the package and threw it on the ground. It exploded green chicken slime which landed on the computers and registers nearby, and all over me, my manager, and the customers waiting in line, including a small child. Two customers actually vomited. I was forced to clean the mess. The real sting in the tale is that the customer with the child sued the store and won a $20,000 settlement.)


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