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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Completely Taking The Mickey

    | Madrid, Spain | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (A customer approaches me in the counter while I finish ringing up another. I’m sure she has come to the bakery a couple of times, but she’s not exactly a regular.)

    Customer: “So nice to see you!”

    Me: “Sure, it has been a while since I last saw you.”

    Customer: “That’s because I was on a trip, to [Theme Park]”

    Me: *smiling politely* “That sounds good.”

    Customer: *looking in her purse* “I actually bought you something.”

    (She takes a Theme Park Character figurine, putting it in the counter. I stare, confused.)

    Me: “Uh, thanks, I guess… So, have you found anything you like around? We just made these new cupcakes.”

    Customer: “Of course I saw them.”

    (Puts three boxes on the counter, and I proceed to ring them up.)

    Me: “Your total is €9.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, just with the [Theme Park Character] is fine.”

    (I stare confused.)

    Customer: “Yes, you see, this thing was €10, so I give you this in exchange. An exchange. That’s fine, right?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m truly grateful you thought of us, but we do not accept exchange here.

    You can either pay with cash or credit card…”

    (She shakes her head, and grabs the figure to slam it in the counter. The thing doesn’t seem €10 in the slightest, since it’s about three inches tall.)

    Customer: “No! I already told you this covers all the total! And even, you owe me €1!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t accept this. You can keep this [Theme Park Character] and pay with cash or credit card, as I said.”

    Customer: “No way!”

    (She grabs the cupcake boxes and starts to leave. My yells to call her back are heard by my coworkers, who help me and stop her from leaving. The woman had to be practically dragged away. The Theme Park Character remained on the counter for several hours, until a family comes up to the counter and the figure catches the attention of the son.)

    Kid: “I’ve got one like this! It came with my meal at [Famous Burger Chain]!”

    Closing Time Crime

    , | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a fast food restaurant that closes at 9:30 pm. A customer comes in just before then, as I am helping close up for the day.)

    Customer: “Hi. I ordered an eight-piece fried chicken during my lunch break, and got baked instead.”

    Me: “All right, sir. I’m terribly sorry. Do you want a refund or a correct order?”

    Customer: “I’d like what I ordered, please. The eight-piece fried chicken meal.”

    Me: “Sure, sir. We’re about to close, so at this point at night, we aren’t making the fried chicken anymore.”

    Customer: “What? But you’re a fried chicken place!”

    Me: “Yes, we are, but we’re also closing for the night.”

    Customer: “Okay, so, can I get an order that’s the same amount of money?”

    Me: “No problem. I just need the receipt and I can get you that, sir.”

    Customer: “The receipt? Oh, I think I threw that away.”

    (I look at him apologetically. I cannot correct an order or give a refund without the receipt.)

    Me: “What? Sir, I cannot give you your meal without the receipt.”

    Customer: “What? It’s just a piece of paper, I had the wrong order earlier and now I want what I paid for!”

    Me: “Sir, we fill out hundreds of orders around lunch time and I would not be able to find your order among them.”

    Customer: “I WANT MY FRIED CHICKEN!”

    Me: “Sir, please lower your voice. We don’t have the fried chicken, and without your receipt I can’t give you a refund.”

    Customer: “[Other Fast Food Chain] doesn’t need receipts to give me my food!”

    Me: “Sir, I am fairly sure they do. Look, it’s closing time but I can try to look through our computer system to find your order.”

    (He suddenly backs down a bit, from menacing to nervous.)

    Customer: “No, no, that’s okay. I’ll just go get dinner somewhere else.”

    (He leaves quickly. My manager walks over to see what it was about, and after I tell him, he shakes his head.)

    Manager: “I’m willing to bet there was no receipt, and he was just after a free meal!”

    In A Nut Shell: You’re Lying

    | England, UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I and my husband own a tea room. We only serve drinks and cakes (sweet pie/pastries/donuts, etc.), absolutely nothing hot or savoury. We also do party platters. We are well known in our area for being a nut-free establishment due to my husband’s (the baker) severe allergy.)

    Customer: “I need a refund on the food I ordered for my grandson’s birthday party at the weekend. I have the receipt.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you weren’t happy. What was wrong with the food?”

    Customer: “It was totally unsatisfactory! We paid a lot of money for your food and my daughter was most upset.”

    (I’m looking over the receipt and notice it was a lot of money, over £100. Every food item is listed, with quantity, and it seems a lot for a child’s party. I call my husband to take a look and he remembers talking to the child’s mother on the phone and again when she picked everything up.)

    Husband: “I remember when your daughter ordered it and picked it up. I asked her repeatedly if she had the numbers right. It was a lot of food for a nine-year-old’s party.”

    Customer: “That’s not the point. All of the quiches were undercooked, the sandwiches had the wrong fillings, and the birthday cake had hazelnuts in it. My grandson has a nut allergy. He was rushed to hospital on his birthday. He could have died! DIED!”

    (By now other customers are looking and listening in.)

    Husband: “You’re lying.”

    Customer: “Well, I never! How dare you speak to me like that! I want my money back!

    Me: “Have you looked at this receipt? First, your daughter paid by card. Second, we do not sell anything other than cake. No sandwiches, quiche, sausage roll, nothing. Look around you. Look at our display cabinets. Only cake. And last, there were no nuts of any kind anywhere near your or anyone else’s food here. My husband is so allergic to all kind of nuts that we can’t even eat out anymore. He once served someone who had peanut butter for breakfast and he broke out in a rash and his hand swelled from touching the money. This is a 100% nut free shop. You walked past a sign on the window saying there are no nuts in our food.”

    Customer: “You just don’t want to give me my money back.”

    Me: “You didn’t pay. Your daughter paid with her debit card. If she comes in, with your grandson’s hospital discharge papers, I will refund her. Other than that I’ll assume that she over ordered, spent too much money, regrets it, and sent you to try and trick us. I have your daughter’s details here. If you don’t leave I’ll have to call her and tell her you are making fraudulent claims and I will contact the police.”

    Customer: *recoiling a bit and deciding to leave* “I think I’ll send my daughter in here to sort this out.”

    (As she leaves I realise all our other customers are staring at me.)

    Other Customer: “Do you think I could get a wrongly filled sandwich and a hazelnut birthday cake?”

    (At least that lightened the mood.)

    Fire Sale Fail

    , | Stettler, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a small electrical fire at our fast food restaurant. My fellow coworkers and I have just checked the building to make sure all the customers are out. Most of my coworkers have inhaled smoke and are being checked out by EMT’s. I’m standing near the doors to keep customers out.)

    Customer: “I ordered $40 worth of food. Why are you standing outside?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, Ma’am, we’ve had a small electrical fire…”

    (The building is clearly filled with smoke, visible through the windows that surround the restaurant.)

    Customer: “Well, is my chicken ready? Someone can just go get it. I’ve already paid.”

    Me: “You want someone to go into a burning building in order to get your chicken?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    (Before I could respond my supervisor comes back from being checked out.)

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, even if someone did get your chicken, it wouldn’t be safe to eat. It was in the warming tray right below where the smoke came pouring out of the roof.”

    Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! I’M A PAYING CUSTOMER AND I WANT MY CHICKEN!”

    (I walk away and leave my supervisor to deal with the customer. Shortly after I see the supervisor run back in the building and come out with the customers refund. The customer rips the money out of her hand and storms off, nearly hitting an employee in the parking lot with her car.)

    Supervisor: “I just refunded her $60 and told her she could have fresh chicken in the morning.”

    Me: “Just so you know, she ripped you off. Her order only came to $42.50.”

    Supervisor: “S***.”

    (Thankfully, the damage was mostly in the electrical work and the restaurant was opened the next morning.)

    Wrapped Your Hair Up In A Bun

    | MN, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Spouses & Partners

    (I work at a burger place that is known for their burgers but also for their frozen custard. A lady comes in with her husband who both seem to be in their late 30s. They order three separate orders: one order for her meal, which was just a burger and fries; another order of his meal that consisted of just a grilled sandwich; and the last order of two large blended frozen custard that both had some sort of candies mixed in. I’m doing my round of asking every customer how their nights are and how’s the food when I get to this customer.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you two doing tonight?”

    Customer: “We are actually not doing okay! My husband found a hair in his sandwich!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m really sorry about that. Let me get you a new one of those!”

    Customer: “While you’re at it, get me your manager over here right now! This is unacceptable!”

    (I grab the sandwich to show the kitchen crew and to remake the sandwich and notice that the hair is blonde and all of us that are working are brunettes. I grab my manager to go talk to her and mention that I found blonde hair in it. All the while the husband still hasn’t said anything, which is odd considering it is his sandwich. I’m bringing out the remake of his sandwich and hear the rest of the argument between the blonde lady and my manager.)

    Manager: “Was there anything wrong with your meal, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Well, no.”

    Manager: “Then, I’m sorry, ma’am. I cannot refund you for your meal. There was nothing wrong with it, especially considering you ate most of it. I also cannot refund you for either of your large desserts. Just because you leave a fifth of both your desserts un-eaten and claim that they tasted horrible and that’s why you didn’t finish it doesn’t mean you would get a refund. I wouldn’t have even taken another bite if it was as horrible as you described. I’m only allowed to refund the sandwich, even when I have a staff full of only brunettes.”

    (As the blonde lady was about to say something, her husband speaks up.)

    Husband: “No. I know what you’re thinking. We are leaving.”

    (Her husband drags her out of the restaurant, taking his sandwich and leaving behind the refund.)

    Husband: “That was ridiculous and a waste of time just so you could save a couple of bucks. I don’t know why you couldn’t have just used your burger and just let me eat mine in peace.”

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