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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    No Time Lie The Present

    | AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (Our company gets hit with spam that asks people to go to an external website and enter your username & password. We block the email but the damage is done, so you pull up a log of people who went to the website and cold call all 50 of them as fast as possible. Five minutes in I get this guy:)

    Me: “Hey, you apparently clicked the email and entered your—”

    Him: “No, I didn’t.”

    Me: “I just need you to change your password; I have a record of you going to the spammy website—”

    Him: “No, I didn’t.”

    Me: “I literally have a list in front of me. Not only did you put in your username and password, you did it twice when it didn’t work!”

    Him: “I didn’t click that—”

    Me: “I don’t have time for you to lie to me right now; I’m forcing a password reset and logging you off. Enjoy your week.”

    (My boss gave me a slow clap for dealing with this man…)

    Allergic To Payback

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (After a customer is hospitalized due to a miscommunication about their allergies, my manager changes store policy so that we aren’t allowed to serve anyone anything if they say they are allergic to components. Since bratty customers often claim allergy, this has had many hilarious results, my favorite being a customer who usually makes us remake her order three or four times because she’s allergic to this or that.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a meatball sub, no onion. I’m allergic to onion.”

    Me: “The meatballs have onion in them. What else can I get you?”

    Customer: “The meatballs only have a little; it’s fine.”

    Me: “You have informed me you have an onion allergy. I cannot serve you any products containing onion.”

    Customer: *huffs* “Fine, I’ll have the chicken sub!”

    Me: “Ma’am, last week you made me remake your food because of a tomato allergy. I cannot serve you any product with tomato.”

    Customer: “Yes, you can! I get them all the time.”

    Me: “Store policy has changed. I cannot serve any customer any food that may have been contaminated with anything they label as an allergen.”

    Customer: “Fine, I was lying. Give me my sub.”

    Me: “As you have given me conflicting information I must err on the side of caution. I cannot serve you tomato, onion, wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs-”

    Customer: “WHAT! I never said I was allergic to that stuff:”

    Me: “Ma’am, whenever you have us remake food we must enter the reason in the register. And all your credit card purchases are saved in the system. Should we look up your purchases?”

    Customer: “Get me your manager!”

    (I run in back and tell him what’s going on. He gets an evil look on his face.)

    Manager: “Hello, ma’am, I understand you’re confused about our new store policy?”

    Customer: “Your employee here refuses to make me food even though I told her I am not allergic!”

    Manager: “So you aren’t allergic to onions or tomatoes or wheat?”

    Customer: “No, I am not.”

    Manager: “Ma’am, you just admitted to lying about allergies. So you can either pay for every sandwich you’ve ever had us remake, or get out.”

    Customer: *runs out of the store*

    Got Yourself Carded

    | Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

    (After a long shift I decide to purchase some groceries from the supermarket where I work. The woman in front of me has her shopping rung up and presents my newly-trained coworker with a staff discount card. I don’t recognize the woman and assume her to be from another one of our stores.)

    Coworker: *has attempted to swipe the discount card three times without success* “Um, just give me a second.”

    Woman: “All right.”

    Coworker: *she proceeds to swipe it two more times through the till* “Sorry, it doesn’t seem to be working.”

    Me: “Let me have a look.” *my coworker hands over the card for my inspection and I’m dumbfounded by what I find* “Madam, this is my card.”

    Woman: “No, it’s mine.”

    Me: “Madam, I reported this card missing just yesterday. It has my name and employee number on the front.”

    Woman: “Ah.” *she proceeds out of the store doing the fastest running walk I have ever seen*

    Should Be Gifted With Foresight

    | Spokane, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I am running cash registers, and an elderly woman comes up with a $50 gift card and items. The woman is pretty chatty.)

    Woman: “And my son gifted me this for my birthday. It’s really sweet of him. I’m glad he’s turning things around; he used to get into such trouble.

    (I run the gift card, see that it isn’t registering, and try a few more times. I get a manager down to see if they can help. The woman was being quite patient about it. The manager can’t get it to work.)

    Manager: “Uh. Where did you get this card?”

    Woman: “Oh, my son gifted it to me, why?”

    Manager: *hesitates* “I hate to tell you… but the card was never activated.”

    (Which can mean the cashier forgot to scan it when it was bought, or more likely, that it was taken right off the rack and out of the store.)

    Woman: “Son of a b****! I can’t believe it!”

    Manager: “I apologi—”

    Woman: “No, I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at my son for gifting me a stolen gift card! When I get home, I will give him a piece of my mind!” *to me* “I’m sorry to ask you to cancel the orders; I don’t have the money to spare right now.”

    (She left the store right after. I could only speculate how the call went down!)

    Needs A Part Of Truth

    , | TX, USA | Liars & Scammers, Transportation

    (The weather has been so cold and icy that numerous roads have been closed and our store-to-store delivery truck has been cancelled for the day. A mother and daughter walk into the store at around 10 am on a Tuesday and approach my co-worker, who’s still very new.)

    Coworker: “Hi, how are y’all doing today?”

    Daughter: “Hi, my name is [Daughter] and I ordered some parts yesterday. I was wondering if they came in yet?”

    Coworker: “Okay. Give me a second to pull up your information.”

    (He gets the necessary info from her and off the computer and goes into the back to look for her order and comes back a couple of minutes later empty handed.)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t think your parts have arrived yet. It looks like they were ordered at [Time] yesterday which puts the delivery time at noon today.”

    Daughter: “No! I didn’t order them yesterday. I ordered them on Saturday.”

    Coworker: “The computer shows they were ordered yesterday, not Saturday.”

    (At this point the women are getting more irritated.)

    Mom: “Well, they should be here already!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but they won’t be here until at least noon.”

    Mom: “Well, I thought they could get here sooner.”

    (I step in.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but our store-to-store delivery truck isn’t coming at all today. The route has been shut down due to all the ice on the roads.”

    Daughter: “Well, my order should have been here yesterday!”

    (I look up her info again the same way my co-worker already had and notice that not only had the order been placed yesterday, but she had ordered all high-end, name brand parts.)

    Me: “Well, our system shows that the order was placed yesterday at [time] and therefore would normally arrive today at 12:05. But, because of the road conditions, the truck is not making deliveries today. It won’t get here until tomorrow. I’m sorry.”

    (Customer is starting to get really agitated and into a huff.)

    Daughter: “Well, my car has already been on blocks for four days now and I need it to get to and from work!”

    (I decide to try and see if we can find her parts in the store brand, since we’re more likely to have those on-hand.)

    Me: “Well, let me see if I can help you find anything similar to the parts that you need. What’s the year, make and model of your vehicle?”

    (She provides the info at which point I realize she’s just precisely described the only car in the customer parking lot, so I decide to call her bluff.)

    Me: “Okay, and what color is it?”

    Mom: “What does that have to do with anything?”

    Me: “Is it purple?”

    Daughter: “Yes, why?”

    Me: “And it’s on blocks?”

    Mom: “Yes! It’s been un-drivable for four days and she really needs it!”

    Me: *pointing to the only car sitting in the customer parking lot* “Then how did you drive it here?”

    (Both women left in embarrassment. They came back the next day for the parts that were ordered.)