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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Smeagol, Medium Or Large

    , | UT, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m working a double shift. It is 5:30 pm, and I’ve been here since 8 am. I am the manager on duty.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a large blizzard, m&m and cookie dough.”

    (I make the blizzard and place it in front of him. Large blizzards are in a 21 oz. cup.)

    Customer: “No, this isn’t a large and I ordered a large.”

    Coworker: “That is a large, sir.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. They usually make them in this size cup.” *motions to the 32 oz. cup*

    Coworker: “No, those are shakes. They don’t have m&ms or cookie dough in them.”

    Customer: “They do it on the day shift all the time! I want what they give me!”

    (I decide to step in, because my coworker is starting to stumble and get uncomfortable.)

    Me: “Actually, sir, I’ve worked the day shift for three years now, and I’ve never seen you before in my life. Now, the large is in a 21 oz. cup.”

    Customer: “Get your manager.”

    Me: “You mean me?”

    Customer: “Not you, your manager.”

    Me: “Alright, one moment.”

    (I walk in the back, and talk to myself.)

    Me: “Yeah there’s guy out there that wants to talk to the manager on duty. Oh, ok… Well, I’ll go talk to him. Yes, sir? I’m the manager on duty; what is the problem?”

    Customer: *takes the blizzard and storms out*

    The Cake Buyer Is A Lie

    | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I work in the deli right beside the bakery. I witness an exchange between a customer and the bakery supervisor.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I need to pick up a cake order. It should be under [name].”

    Supervisor: “Sure, let me go get it.”

    (She goes into the cooler to retrieve the cake, and brings it out to the customer.)

    Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am. Here it is.”

    Customer: “Oh, by the way, I already paid for the cake when I ordered it. So I can just walk out with it, right?”

    Supervisor: “Well, I don’t see a receipt with your order slip ma’am. Do you happen to have one with you? We usually ask for the receipt to be returned to us so that we know you paid for it.”

    Customer: “No! No one told me that I had to do that! But I already paid for it!”

    Supervisor: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but everyone who works here knows that we always ask for a receipt to be returned to us. If you don’t have a receipt, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this now.”

    Customer: “I told you that I already paid for this cake!”

    (The customer waves a slip of paper in the air.)

    Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS!”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, that paper you’re waving around just means we took your order. It does not mean that you paid for it.”

    Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS! IT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH!”

    Supervisor: “That slip of paper just means you placed an order with us. It doesn’t prove that you already paid for your cake. Anyone who places an order with us could bring that slip of paper back, lie and say they already paid for their order. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, but I can’t just let you leave with this cake without proof of purchasing it.”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff without the cake*

    Related:
    The Cake Is A Lie, Part 4
    The Cake Is A Lie, Part 3
    The Cake Is A Lie, Part 2

    Modern Scammers Work Double Time

    , | WI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m a crew member at a fast food joint, while my uncle is the general manager at a sit down restaurant across the street. I’m working drive thru.)

    Customer: “Hi, I just came through a few minutes ago, and my burger was all wrong, plus my fries were cold.”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Just come up to the window, and we’ll get it all fixed up.”

    (She pulls up, and I don’t recognize her at all. I don’t see a bag from us in her car either.)

    Customer: “I also didn’t get my soda either.”

    (Now I know she’s lying, because I’ve been in drive thru all day, and I never poured an extra soda. My manager just says screw it and give her what she wants. After I got off, I went up to my uncle’s restaurant to sit and chat. I tell him about the woman.)

    Me: “I would have noticed someone wearing fleece pants in this heat!”

    Uncle: “Uh… I’m pretty sure she came here.

    Me: “WHAT!”

    Uncle: “This lady came in. She was wearing fleece pants and a college sweatshirt. I see her looking at a menu. I speak up, and she says her salad was wrong and her wings were cold. I don’t recognize her from before. I ask for a receipt, and she doesn’t have one. I ask what kind of salad and what kind of wings. She looks at the menu for a few more minutes. I just wanted to get her out because we had big orders in the kitchen. So she got about $25 out of me.”

    Me: “You did better than me! She got $7 from us! Did you forget her soda?”

    Uncle: “YES! Yes, we did!”

    The Long Hold Time Of The Law

    | England, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Good morning, [company name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting to speak to you all afternoon.”

    Me: “I’m sorry for your wait; we’ve been really busy today.”

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting for 60 minutes!”

    (I can see our call queue, and I know that the longest wait anyone’s had all day is about eight minutes.)

    Me: “As I’ve said, we’ve been unexpectedly busy. I’m really sorry about that. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I want compensation for having to wait for so long. You’re victimizing me. You can’t get away with treating people like this!”

    Me: “Sir, everyone is in the same position. Unfortunately, you’ve called us during a busy time. If we have more calls than staff at any one time, some of our customers need to wait until someone’s available to handle their call.”

    Customer: “But I’m not just one of your customers. Don’t you know who I am?”

    Me: “No, sir, you haven’t provided me with any of your details for me to try to help you today.”

    Customer: “You can’t get away with this. I know about these things. I know! I’m going to the government! This is illegal!”

    Me: “It’s not illegal for us to be busy, sir.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Body Language Lost In Translation

    | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (One of our new employees is dealing with a customer who is clearly angry, and is being physically aggressive and threatening. We are on the verge of calling security, but we can see that our new employee is still very calm. We hit the button when we see the customer lunge at her, despite the fact that she doesn’t react at all, and just stares at him. I run over to see what’s wrong.)

    Me: “Hi there, I’m the manager. Is there a problem I can help with?”

    Customer: “This white b**** won’t give me the sale price!”

    (The customer waves a sale leaflet from one of our competitors in my face.)

    New Employee: *still very calm* “I tried to tell him that isn’t our flyer, and we don’t even have that item, but he doesn’t seem interested in hearing that.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me, you b****! You just don’t want me to get this great price!”

    New Employee: “Sir, I have two things to say. Firstly, that flyer is from last year—”

    Customer: “How the f*** do you know?!”

    New Employee: “Because, it’s for a summer sale, and it is currently February. Second, if we had that item at a great price and you wanted it but could not find it, I would do my best to track it down in-store for you. If we didn’t have it here, I would call other stores for you. The simple truth is that we don’t carry that particular item.”

    Customer: “How the f*** do you know?”

    New Employee: “Because, sir, it’s an adult novelty, and this is a children’s clothing store.”

    (Security arrives and escorts the customer out of the store.)

    Me: “I don’t know how you were able to stay so calm! You almost sounded bored! I don’t think your expression changed the entire time!”

    New Employee: “Oh, I have a lot of trouble with body language. I figured out a long time ago that when I get confused, it’s better not to respond at all, because usually I laugh and it makes them angry.”

    (She’s now one of our area supervisors, and is actually better at handling the rare aggressive customer we get than our security team. This is because, apparently, a person who can’t be intimidated makes people uncomfortable.)

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