Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,245 thumbs up)
  • Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Fraud-ian Slip

    , | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I work in a call center as a fraud specialist. It is not uncommon to get calls from people trying to contest escort or porn charges as fraud when they’re really not.)

    Caller: “I have a charge on here for over five grand. I didn’t charge that; it’s fraud.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that; I can help with that.”

    (I pull up the charge, and see another charge for a tow truck and parking ticket in the same state the other charges was made.)

    Me: “I see here that the charge is for an escort service, the physical card was present, as well. You have not been traveling, is that correct?”

    Caller: “That’s right, and I have my credit card too.”

    Me: “Sir, thank you for the information. Please hold while I get more information on this merchant.”

    (While the caller is holding, I call the merchant directly. I already know he’s lying, but I have to prove it without calling him a liar. The merchant was not at all surprised, and was delighted to provide me with a copy of his driver’s license, imprint of the card with signature on the sales draft. Not only that, but they even give me the name and room number of the hotel he stayed in when he used their escort service.)

    Me: “Sir, thank you for holding. I found out more about the charge. But I want to go over your last valid charges. Did you recently get a ticket or paid for towing service?”

    Caller: “Yeah, that charge is okay.”

    Me: “Sir, that charge shows the card was swiped, which means you were in that state, right?”

    Caller: “Uh… yeah…”

    Me: “And did you stay at [hotel], room 2058?”

    Caller: “Yeah…”

    Me: “Sir, I contacted the merchant and they verified all of your information, and even offered to send a copy of your driver’s license, and signature. It’s because of that we can’t accept this charge as fraud.”

    Caller: “So what am I supposed to do?”

    Me: “Don’t worry, sir; you still have options. You may still be able to dispute the charge as a billing dispute in the event that you didn’t receive any products or services, or the services were not as agreed upon, or you can contact the merchant directly. Were you not satisfied with the services you received?”

    Caller: *click*

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 3

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a gas station. A construction company has accidentally knocked out our power. After getting the store closed up and the closed signs are posted to the doors, we wait for the power to be restored. A customer parks her car at the gas pumps, walks to the entrance, and pounds on the door.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’ve experienced a power outage and we’re closed for a few more hours.”

    Customer: “I need to get gas.”

    Me: I’m sorry, but as I said, we’re closed at the moment. I hate to do it, but I have to send you to the gas station across the street.

    Customer: “Don’t you have a key to the register? Why can’t you take my money and let me get my gas? Everybody else does it manually.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you don’t seem to understand. Without electricity, the gas pump won’t work. I wish we could help you, but we can’t right now.”

    Customer: “Well, I know the owner of this store personally. And you can tell him I am very dissatisfied with the service from his employees. He won’t like this at all.”

    Me: *smiling* “Ma’am, he’s actually right here, and you can speak with him yourself.”

    (I step aside, and the owner of the store, who has been listening, walks to the front door.)

    Owner: “I’m sorry, but who are you? The power is out right now and we’re closed!”

    (The owner pulls the door closed, locks it, and walks away from the very embarrassed customer.)

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2
    Getting Owned By The Owner

    A Spirited Response

    | Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I am working as a manager/bartender at a local club. It’s fairly slow, and a clearly drunk regular approaches to order.)

    Customer: “I’ll get a tall ‘Paralyzer.’”

    Me: “Sure thing! That will be $5.75.”

    (I proceed to make the drink, take his payment, and continue doing my job. A few minutes later, he returns to the bar with the empty cup.)

    Customer: “There was no alcohol in this! Make me another one on the house, you b****!”

    Me: “Excuse me? You watched me make it, and drank it all. If you came back after a sip, maybe, but not when it’s empty, dude.”

    (The customer’s intoxicated female friend approaches next to him.)

    Friend: “You’re full of it. I was the manager here a month ago; you’re new and stupid. You tried to rip him off, so make a new one! F****** stupid w****!”

    Me: “Listen up. One, you’re full of it. I’m the manager, and have been for the last year. You’ve never worked here. Second, I know for a fact you do nails for a living. If I had them done, ripped them off, and then said you didn’t do them, would you do them again for free? No. There was alcohol in that drink. Third, call me a f****** name again, and I’ll have you out of here so fast, your four-size-too-small miniskirt might actually squeeze away from your hippo thighs. Now, can I get you anything else, or are you good?”

    (The owner laughs so hard, she has to run to the bathroom. The customer’s friend ends up with a DUI that night. Talk about Karma!)

    Has The Drive To Cheat And Lie

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Love/Romance

    (I work in a car insurance call center.)

    Customer: “Oh, the policy isn’t in my name.”

    Me: “May I speak to the policy holder to get permission to speak to you and add you to the policy?”

    Customer: “No, she’s not speaking to me.”

    Me: “Okay, well that just means I am unable to give you any information or make any changes for you at this point of time.”

    Customer: “But it’s my car! She just took me off all the policies after I cheated on her.”

    (I have no idea what to say.)

    Customer: “Never mind, I’ll just call back and pretend I’m her.” *click*

    Bagged Herself A Steal

    | MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

    (I’m a college freshman working in a thrift store. The most expensive item in the shop is $10. I am straightening up a rack when I watch a customer go into a dressing room, then emerge from the dressing room wearing a completely different outfit and make for the door. I stop her.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am! You realize you’re going to have to pay for that, right?”

    Customer: “I know that! I’m not an idiot!”

    (The customer turns around and walks over to a bookshelf, as if that’s where she’d been headed all along. I go back to the rack, but watch her out of the corner of my eye. She slowly begins making her way towards the door again.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You still need to pay for that.”

    Customer: “I did.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I watched you. You went to the bookshelf and then tried to leave again.”

    Customer: “You were SPYING on me?! I want to talk to your manager!”

    (My manager, having heard the commotion, is already on his way over.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes. This little girl was spying on me and accused me of trying to shoplift my own clothes!”

    (I began to bristle and protest, but my manager shushes me and points to the customer’s pants. Or rather, to the price tag sticking out of the pocket. The woman looks down at it and then bolts for the door. I start after her, but my manager calls me back.)

    Manager: “Ah, let her go. She’s only wearing about $6 worth of merchandise anyway.”

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