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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Tearing A Rent In The Truth

    | Charlotte, NC, USACharlotte, NC, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (Rent is due on the 1st of each month, and late after the 5th. After the 5th, a late fee applies. Today is the 6th.)

    Tenant: “Here’s my rent. I was going to drop my money order in the drop slot last night but I got tied up late at work and was too tired to drive over. I’m sorry. Can you waive the late fee?”

    Me: “Well, let me see. Hmm, the date the money order was printed on was today, the 6th. So you just lied to my face.”

    Tenant: *completely unashamed* “Ha ha. Well… yeah. You know.”

    Me: “No, I don’t know.” *hands back rent* “Please come back when you have the additional late fee.”

    Tenant: “That’s just wrong! It’s only a day!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It’s the lying that’s wrong here.”

    Tenant: *slams door and leaves in indignant huff* “I’m going to call your boss and have you fired. Oooh, and you’re racist!”

    No Ram-ifications

    | ID, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the back of the thrift store, where everything is sorted and tested. A Hispanic family comes in the front of the store, carrying three very old laptops.)

    Customer: “We bought these laptops from here, and would like to exchange them from something else.”

    Manager #1: “I’ll take these back to the electronics guys, and make sure they work.”

    (He takes them back to the guys, and relays the story. While I don’t work at the electronics testing station, my area is right next to it, so I can see clearly what they are testing. They sometimes call me over because I have a strong technical background.)

    Tester: “I don’t ever remember seeing these laptops.”

    Me: “Neither do I!”

    Manager #1: “Hey, wait a minute. There is no sticker residue! Nor is there rubbing of where they should have been! Also, they didn’t come in with a receipt. Something’s fishy here.”

    (While they have me quickly test the laptops, Manager #1 gets Manager #2, who is fluent in Spanish, but Caucasian.)

    Manager #1: *in Spanish* “Hello! So, were you trying to exchange the laptops?”

    Customer: *flustered* “Did I say ‘exchange?’ I meant ‘donate!’”

    Manager #2: “Well, I’m glad we could sort out the miscommunication!”

    (Two of the laptops don’t boot up because they don’t even have a hard drive. The one that does boot has a very small amount of RAM. The kicker? Even if, by some fluke, we had sold those laptops, they would have been thoroughly tested, and all three would have been sold as ‘for parts,’ meaning that the customer wouldn’t have been able to afford even one working laptop!)

    Hasn’t Got A Leg To Stand On

    | OK, USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am mopping the floor when a customer walks in and proceeds to slip and fall.)

    Customer: “I’M GOING TO SUE! You could have KILLED ME!”

    Me: “Sir, there’s just two things wrong with your plan. One, I have ‘Caution – Wet Floor’ signs all over the store.”

    Customer: “Well I didn’t see them! I think I broke my leg!”

    Me: “Regardless, the store is released of all liability because they are out in highly visible places, and you just fell by one.”

    Customer: “I WANT YOUR MANAGER, NOW!”

    Me: “The other thing wrong with your plan is that I haven’t mopped over there yet. The floor is dry.”

    (The customer gets up on his ‘broken’ leg and scurries out.)

    Uncoiling His Plot

    , | MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I am a female that works for an retail parts shop. Because of this, a lot of people believe they can pull one over on me.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes I need a coil pack for my car.”

    Me: “Okay, what is the year, make and model?” *he tells me his car* “Okay, I have a coil pack in stock for $89.99.”

    Customer: “Oh, well I called [competing parts store], and they said they had it for $34.99.”

    Me: “Okay hon, no problem.”

    (I know this is wrong, since I am familiar with how our rivals tend to price things. I proceed to call the other store, and get their actual pricing.)

    Me: “Alright hon, looks like they made a mistake with you. They actually list their coil pack at $91.99, but seeing as their economy pack is $87.99 I can go ahead and match that price for you.”

    Customer: “Um… well, it was actually their online price.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we do not match online pricing in store. But you are more then welcome to purchase online, hon.”

    (I hear the guy’s friend whisper to him.)

    Friend: “I told you it wasn’t gonna work.”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 13

    | Drexel Hill, PA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I have recently been hired at a pharmacy a few towns over from mine. It’s my second day as cashier, when a teen girl comes to my register. I’m 22 and wearing a name tag.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a pack of [brand] cigarettes please.”

    Me: “No problem, I just need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “Oh, well it’s at my house and I don’t have time to run back and get it. Can’t you let me go this time?”

    Me: “Sorry, it’s not worth my job.”

    Customer: “But you know me!”

    Me: “I can’t say that I do.”

    Customer: “Dude, [my name], we go to high school together.”

    Me: “Oh really? What high school do you go to?”

    Customer: “[Local High School]. We totally have English together.”

    Me: “Yeah, no. First of all I went to [Rival High School]. Second, I was in AP English, the scores of which I used to go to [University], which I just graduated from. So no, I don’t know you. Show me ID or move along.”

    Customer: “You suck.”

    (She leaves and asks the next few visibly older customers to buy her cigarettes. No one buys them, and one even threatens to call the cops if she doesn’t leave!)

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 12
    No ID, No Idea, Part 11
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

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