Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,144 thumbs up)
  • Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Demanding Understanding

    | MI, USA | Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work the front counter of the repair center. The customer coming to get her car is notorious for trying every trick in the book to not pay for repairs. Because she’s such a problem, she always gets a VERY generous discount.)

    Me: “Okay, Mrs. [Name], that will be $150 today for installation and the interior detail.”

    Customer: “I was only supposed to pay for a part. I’m only giving you $50.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, you have to pay for the installation of the part, the taxes, and also your detail. How would you like to pay?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “How would you like to pay? Cash, check, or charge?”

    Customer: “What? What are you saying?!”

    Me: “I’m saying you have to pay me.”

    Customer:“WHAT? I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE SAYING!”

    Me: “Well—”

    Customer: “WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

    (I scream right back at her.)

    Me: “HOW ARE YOU PAYING YOUR $150!? I HAVE YOUR KEYS AND YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING THEM UNTIL I GET PAYMENT!”

    Customer: “…Do you take Visa?”

    Obama-Careless

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Money, Politics, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a very strict policy: there are only discounts on things that are marked as such by a corporate mandate, and that’s it. I’m the only register open.)

    Customer: “Hi there, I noticed this lamp has some markings on it; does it get some sort of damage discount?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; everything is priced as marked. It’s not something I or even the manager can change.”

    Customer: “Really? That’s lousy, but okay.”

    (The customer leaves, and comes back with a new lamp.)

    Customer: “I’ve got a question for you. Is it alright if I use your employee discount?”

    Me: “…I’m sorry, sir; I’m not allowed to use my discount while I’m on duty.”

    Customer: “What if I told you I’m related to Barack Obama? Would you give me a discount then?”

    Me: “No, you would still have to pay full price.”

    Customer: “You’re telling me the President of these United States of America can’t even get a discount?!”

    Me: “I’m afraid [store] views everyone as equals, so no.”

    Take Note Of The Note

    , | NM, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes into the restaurant and buys a juice for $1.60 with a $20 bill. I’m a bit suspicious of people who pay small totals with much larger bills, as I had just been scammed that weekend and had to pay $19 to the store.)

    Me: “Thank you, let me just get your change.”

    Customer: “Wait, wait! I just found the change in my purse. Here’s $1.60.”

    Me: “Okay, thank you. Here is your $20 back.”

    (I stare at the bill I hand back to her for a full second before actually giving it back to her. I have to be sure I hand her a $20 bill, as that’s how the scam works.)

    Customer: “Hey, you only gave me back a dollar.”

    (As if to prove this, the customer waives a dollar at me.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am absolutely sure I gave you a $20 bill.”

    Customer: “No you didn’t; take this dollar and give me my $20.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I know I gave you a $20 bill. If you’d like I can pull this drawer right now and count it. If it’s over by $19, then it’s my mistake, but I am sure I gave you back your money.”

    Customer: “No, no I’m very busy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; store policy is that I pull and count the drawer, so I’m going to go ahead and do that. It’ll take a few minutes if you want to take a seat.”

    Customer: “No! I’m very busy; I have to get to work. I can’t wait for you. Just give me my $20.”

    Me: “There are cameras watching this drawer; I cannot do that. I have to pull the drawer.”

    Customer: “Well you do that! I’ll be back later!”

    (The customer ends up leaving the dollar she was waiving at me on the counter. My drawer was spot on plus the extra dollar she left. She tried to scam me and instead lost money! She never came back, of course.)

    No ID, No Idea, Part 14

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Underaged

    (I am a volunteer bartender at a big music festival. We are required to check everyone’s ID upon ordering a drink. It’s now late into the festival, and customers are already pretty drunk.)

    Customer: “Can I get a beer?”

    Me: “Yes, can I see some ID?”

    Customer: *as he’s pulling out his ID* “Okay, but it’s fake!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Yeah, it’s fake. Will you still serve me?”

    Me: “Absolutely not!”

    Customer: *shoves ID in my face* “Does it look fake!?”

    Me: “You just told me your ID is fake. I cannot serve you.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’ll go over here!” *moves a foot over to the next bartender’s line*

    Me: “I will tell them not to serve you.”

    Customer: “Seriously!? WHAT THE H***! I JUST WANT SOME ALCOHOL!”

    (At this point the bar manager has witnessed what has transpired.)

    Manager: *to customer* “GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE AND DON’T COME BACK, OR I’LL CALL THE COPS!”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 13
    No ID, No Idea, Part 12
    No ID, No Idea, Part 11
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    The Customer Has Been Tagged

    | USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a big retail chain where I am working the self checkout. A customer comes over to the self checkout with an arm full of shirts. As she walks over, I see her pull all of the tags off and slip them into her purse. She then waves me over.)

    Guest: “Miss, these shirts don’t have any tags. I’ve seen them on the sales table for $2 each.”

    Me: “Okay, I will call the fashion department and ask them if they have a $2 sale.”

    Guest: *face goes pale* “No, it’s $2 off, believe me.”

    Me: “…or the price tags could be in your purse.”

    Guest: “F*** you!” *throws shirts on the ground and storms away*

    Coworker: “What happened?”

    (I tell my coworker the story and he laughs.)

    Coworker: “Oh yeah, she comes in here all the time and does it. Most of the time she bullies or screams until she gets her way, or gets kicked out. I can’t believe you had the guts to say that.”

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