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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    He’s The Best Actor Of The Bunch

    | TN, USA | Holidays, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s mid-September. I’m helping my parents with their haunted house by working in the concessions stand. For the past few years, a customer has gone through and come back out blackened and bruised and sues us, claiming one of our actors hit him. While he has never won a case due to lack of evidence, the trials themselves drain away anywhere from $500-$1000 of our income. We ban him the year before, but this year after, he comes back and we’re sure it’s to try his scam again. The cashier is new and doesn’t know his face, so she goes ahead and sells him a ticket. After that he walks up to the stand where my coworker and I are.)

    Customer: “Man, just starting the season, and you guys are already this busy? I bet you’ll be rich before the year is over.”

    Coworker: “Yeah… I get a feeling not as much as we should since you’re here.”

    Customer: “Aw come on; I can’t help it that your employees are all brutes and bullies. Anyway, I’m going to go ahead and go in, take care!”

    (My coworker looks ready to call security; I tap her on the shoulder and shake my head, watching as the man goes through.)

    Coworker: “Why did you do that? You know what he’s going to do.”

    (I give my best slasher smile.)

    Me: “We bought security cameras this year.”

    (Sure enough, he makes another attempt at his scam. The camera catches him goading an actor into attacking him, and when they don’t fall for it, he walks out of sight of people, but still where cameras are. He bashes his arm and head against the wall until he bruises. When he tries to sue, we let him take to us to court and show the camera footage. The case is dropped immediately, and we counter-sue him for roughly three times the cost of being taken to court, very nearly making up all the money he has scammed out of us in the years past.)

    Little Console-ation In This Situation

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (Two customers stumble in the doors a bit drunk. They proceed to knock display cases off of a few shelves and even disrupt a display stand. It all seems to be accidental, so I let them be. My coworker just cleans up behind them. Finally, they come up to the counter.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, we were looking to buy a Playstation 3, an Xbox, and an extra controller for each, and all new.”

    Me: “Ooh, lots of games to catch up on, huh?”

    Customer #2: “No, we’re just gonna—”

    Customer #1: “DUDE! It’s a secret man; you can’t blow it!”

    Customer #2: “OH DUDE! Sorry, man!”

    (I’m a little confused, but I ring them up and see them off. An hour later, they come back in with the torn, destroyed boxes.)

    Customer #1: “Hey man, these don’t work. We want our money back.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Let me open everything up and see if I can figure out why they didn’t work.”

    (The objects inside are CLEARLY not the systems I just sold them. They are older versions of each console, beaten up and broken. One is even missing the wires that come with it.)

    Me: “These are not the ones I sold you. I couldn’t even take these as trade-in; they’re in terrible condition.”

    Customer #2: “S***! AND WE ALREADY SOLD THE OTHER ONES TO—”

    Customer #1: “Uh… well our new ones were just stolen from our car, actually. So we’d like a refund or like, a free game.”

    Customer #2: “That’s not gonna WORK, man! We should just go, man. Before they call somebody!

    Customer #1: “UH… Well we’re gonna file a report with the police and we’ll be RIGHT back!”

    (They walk out the door, leaving me and my coworker stunned.)

    Coworker: “There is no way that just happened…”

    Me: “Is there a hidden camera here? This can’t be real life…”

    Honest Conductor Versus Dishonest Conduct

    | Boston, MA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I’m riding the train when a passenger with a walker approaches the area where you pay. As she gets up the first stair, she trips, making a second passenger in front of her drop her wallet. I see the first passenger snatch up the money that falls from the second passenger’s wallet. She takes her seat and the other passenger confronts her.)

    Passenger #2: “Excuse me, I think you have my money. There was $30 in my wallet before it fell, and now there’s none.”

    Passenger #1: “Well this is all my money for my tickets and trains. It’s not yours.”

    Passenger #2: “The conductor told me you grabbed it when it fell.”

    Passenger #1: “Well that’s not true. IT’S MY MONEY!”

    Me: “Then why is it folded differently than the rest of your money?”

    (Passenger #1 finally gives up and gives back the money. The conductor even apologizes to the Passenger #2 for the bad behavior of Passenger #1.)

    October Themed Story Giveaway Reminder: Liars & Scammers!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s October Themed Story Giveaway:
    Liars & Scammers!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about lying & scamming customers.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, November 6!

    Get Some Up-Lifted Bras To Go With Shop-Lifted Panties

    | Boston, MA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I have just clocked out at work, and I have already changed into my street clothes. I am waiting for a manager to check my bag before I can leave, as is this is store policy. While I’m waiting, I see a customer is stooped low near a table of panties and she has her purse open. I cannot clearly see what is going on, but from experience I assume she is stealing them. She makes for the door when I speak to her.)

    Me: “Would you like a shopping bag for those?”

    Customer: “Uh… what?”

    Me: “Would you like a shopping bag for those panties you just put in your purse?”

    Customer: “Oh… I was just… uh… going over to the register.”

    (She tries to casually change directions and head back towards the register.)

    Me: “Right, well, since you have no intention of paying for them, can I have them back please?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    (She looks extremely embarrassed and irritated that she got caught, but she opens her purse and pulls out the biggest wad of panties I’ve ever seen. She shoves them back onto the table.)

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (I watch her rush out of the door. It is not our store policy to confront shoplifters. However, I am not on the clock and therefore can say whatever I want!)

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