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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Ahead Of The Game

    | St. John's, NL, Canada | Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (We sell console games in addition to groceries in a more-or-less rough part of town, and our policy is unopened games can be returned with a receipt within 14 days from purchase.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return this game.”

    Me: *checks seal on game* “Seal is in check, so I just need your receipt.”

    Customer: “I’ve got no receipt. But I just want to exchange this for some groceries now.”

    Me: “Sorry. Without a receipt I have to get authorization on these big ticket items from a manager.”

    Customer: “It’s only a game. It’s not even that big.”

    Me: “No, but the price tag is. It comes to almost $90, so I need a manager authorization.”

    (My manager and I check the UPC in our system, and he sees that we received six copies of the game, and there is six on the shelf right now, and the system shows no sales since it arrived.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that game wasn’t bought at this store. Perhaps it was a different store you bought it at?”

    Customer: “No, it was right here. I bet you it was the cashier just took my money and put it in her pocket when I left. Didn’t even scan it.”

    Me: “Did you get a receipt?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I lost it.”

    Me: “If you got a receipt, the cashier couldn’t have stolen your money. We received in six copies of this game, and there is six in our case. And we haven’t sold any at this location since it arrived.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want my money back. I just want groceries.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but without a receipt showing purchase from this location, I cannot give you any sort of refund or exchange.”

    Customer: “I’ll be back later to get a refund on this, then. Bunch a thieves.”

    Manager: *to me after he leaves* “What was the game called he was trying to get off with?”

    Me: “You’ll get a kick out of this: ‘Thief.’

    Trying To Do A Double Take With A Double Take

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in an ammo store. I’m working a morning shift, unpacking some newly arrived freight with 3 other workers. We’d just received some highly in-demand ammunition, in bulk packages, which is limited to 1 per customer per day due to its popularity. It comes in 325 round boxes, which is good for 1 to 3 trips to the shooting range. An older customer, gray haired and in his 60s, comes in.)

    Customer: “Hey, you have .22 ammo! Lemme get three boxes!”

    Coworker: “Sorry, we have a limit of one box per customer.” *hand him one box*

    Customer: “Oh, c’mon! No one cares. Just let me get three!”

    Coworker: “Sorry, I can only give you the one.”

    Customer: “What if I pay for this, leave, and come back?”

    Coworker: “I couldn’t give you another.”

    Customer: “You’re kidding me!”

    Coworker: “Nope, sorry. Strict policy, because it sells so fast.”

    (Customer walks away. After a few minutes, the guy who was behind the counter goes in the backroom to work there, and a suspiciously identical customer appears. He then speaks to a coworker who saw/heard none of the previous.)

    Identical Customer: “Hey, was my brother just in here?”

    Other Coworker: “Huh?”

    Identical Customer: “My brother! Looks just like me!”

    Other Coworker: “Uh…”

    Identical Customer: “Well, whatever. Hey, can you sell me some .22 ammo?”

    Other Coworker: “Um, sure…”

    (My other coworker begins walking to the ammo counter. I look over at my manager and shake my head ‘no.’)

    Manager: “Did he just leave here with .22 a minute ago?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Manager: “Sir, we can’t sell you anything.”

    Identical Customer: “What?! That was my brother!”

    Manager: “No, it wasn’t. You need to leave.”

    Identical Customer: “Really!? You can’t hook me up?”

    Manager: “No. Leave.”

    Identical Customer: “Oh, well. Hey, you know I was just kidding, right?”

    Manager: “No.”

    Afraid Of Them Dropping By

    , | Round Rock, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a popular national home improvement store, and started out as a temporary cashier. This was a particularly busy Sunday afternoon and, as usual, we were short-staffed for cashiers. A customer comes up to me and asks me to page a lot loader to help her load mulch. I do and the lot loader calls me on the register phone and tells me that he’ll help the customer when he’s done loading another customer. Later, the customer comes back with her mulch inside a large wheelbarrow as well as other items inside of it.)

    Me: “Got everything you need?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I’m not happy. The loader never showed up to help me. I had to use this because there’s no flat carts left!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, there are carts under the annuals and perennials tables—”

    Customer: “There weren’t any when I needed them!”

    Me: “Well, I apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am. I’ll call the lot loader again and get him to help load the wheelbarrow and the rest of your purchase.”

    Customer: *annoyed* “Didn’t you hear me? There weren’t any flat carts left. I don’t want this. I’m not paying for it.”

    Me: “All right, then. I’ll grab a flat cart and I’ll just put your items on there and—”

    Customer: “Why? It’s already in here. Just ring me up.”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you’re not going to buy the wheelbarrow, you can’t take it out of the store. That’s why I offered to get a flat cart to—”

    Customer: *throws her hands up* “Just ring me up! I’ll bring the d*** wheelbarrow back.”

    (The customer continues to ramble as I ring her up. I call an associate, but tells me he’s busy with another customer. I explained my concern over the fact that the customer could steal a $200 wheelbarrow. Since the customer was urgent to leave and another cashier had come to relieve me for a break. I told the customer I would load her purchase for her. She led me to her mini-van and opened the back door. She had bought an iron rod used for hanging plants which sat on top of the pile of mulch. I placed it at the far side of the wheelbarrow so that I could load her mulch. Just as I load the first bag—with my back to the wheelbarrow—I hear a loud clang.)

    Customer: “Ow!” *holds her right ankle*

    Me: “Are you okay? What happened?”

    Customer: “The iron rod fell on me. I’m sorry. I have a low tolerance for pain. That really hurt.” *heavy tears begin to well up in her eyes*

    (I pick up the iron rod and scratch my head, perplexed at how it could’ve fallen when I put it out of the way. At this point, my coworker comes and finishes loading the customer’s purchase and lets her fill out an incident report. I continue working, but the assistant manager calls me into his office. Note: this manager is the asset protection manager.)

    Manager: “Hey, do you mind filling out the incident form?”

    Me: “Sure. Is the customer okay? She was crying pretty bad.”

    Manager: “She has a small bruise on her ankle, but she’s claiming that you dropped it on her.”

    Me: *staring, stunned* “Are you serious? After going to the whole trouble of helping her load her purchase? I didn’t want her to steal that wheelbarrow!”

    Manager: “Oh, I know. I checked the cameras that survey the parking lot. She dropped it on herself.”

    Me: “…seriously?”

    Manager: “Hey, you have no idea how far some people will go.”

    (Now that customer goes out of her way to let me ring her up. I’ve since been promoted to a higher ranking position, but I steer clear of her to make sure she can’t drop anything else on herself and blame me again.)

    Retort Against Those Who Extort

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (My mother is in her 70s, and is shopping at a thrift store when she spots a beautiful bamboo bookcase.)

    Clerk: “Hi. Do you need some help?”

    Mom: “I am interested in the shelf, but have to go home first and do some measuring.”

    Clerk: “No problem; I’ll make sure it’s still here when you get back.”

    (After getting home, measuring, and seeing it will fit, she calls me to ask if I can go with her to pick it up if it was still there. We get to the store, where she walks over to the bookshelf and shows me. About a second later, a customer immediately walks up to us.)

    Customer: “I’m actually buying this shelf… but how much would you be willing to give me NOT to buy this?”

    (My mom and I looked at each other in disbelief, and before I can even think of what to say to this idiot, the clerk from earlier immediately steps in:)

    Clerk: “Sorry, sir. This lady was here earlier and was going to buy it, but she had to run home and take measurements first.”.

    Customer: “Well, that’s not fair. I was just ready to buy this!”

    Clerk: “Sorry. She gets first pick.”

    Mom: *looking at the customer with a big grin* “And I decided I’ll take it.”

    Clerk: *with an even bigger grin* “Let me go ahead and ring you up, and you also get a senior discount!”

    (We spent the next few minutes cashing out while the customer just stood there and stared at us the whole time, and then stood out in the parking lot and kept staring at us (with a butt-hurt look) while I loaded it on the car, pausing here and there to give him a big ‘f*** you’ grin. Thank you, awesome clerk, for putting that a**-hole in his place for trying to extort money from the elderly!)

    Some Things Sadly Never Chang(e)

    | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I was also dining at this restaurant and overhear this conversation. Keep in mind the server is Asian, but speaks perfect English with no accent and the customer is a man, ordering everything for his family of four.)

    Customer: *orders eight different sushi rolls* “We’re in a BIG hurry. We need to order and eat fast!”

    Server: “I understand, but sushi takes a long time to prepare as it’s made fresh after you order it. Most people are here for more than an hour. If you’re in a hurry, sushi is probably not the best choice for you.”

    Customer: “Just put the d*** order in and hurry it up.”

    (After the customers get their food and eat more than half it, he asks for the server’s manager.)

    Customer: “I want to complain. We’ve been here for 45 minutes and we’re just now eating. We told him we were in a hurry and he said it was no problem and we’d be done within half an hour and now we’re late. I’m not going to pay for this.”

    Manager: “I’m so sorry, sir. Sushi takes a long time to create.”

    Customer: “Well, Chang here said…”

    Server: “Chang?! My name is Steve!”

    (At this point another customer at a nearby table talked to the manager and told him that she heard what the server said and that he had told them it would be more than an hour. The manager told them to either pay up or he’d call the cops. They ended up paying, but complained loudly the whole time while using many other racially insensitive names.)

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