Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

Yesterday, All My Charities Were Far Away

| Pinellas County, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

(The theater company I work for does a charity promotion every summer where we ask customers to donate a dollar or their spare change. Every year, this exact occurrence never fails to happen multiple times on the first day of the promotion:)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Theater]!”

Customer: “Yes, can I get three tickets for [Movie]?”

Me: “Sure! Would you like to donate $1, or even your spare change, to [Charity]?”

Customer: “What? No, I did that yesterday!”

Me: *palmface*

One More ‘One More’

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(The FAQ on our event website states that the maximum group size is 10.)

Customer: “What is the maximum group size?”

Me: “10.”

Customer: “We have a group of 11; can you make an exception just this once?”

Me: “We will do our best to accommodate your group, but I can’t make guarantees.”

Customer: “So is that a yes?”

Me: “We will do our best. I don’t see it being a problem.

Customer: “Okay, great. And actually, we have 12 in our group, but what’s one more?”

Underwear Unaware

| PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(My place of work is fairly well known in my town and the surrounding area. My boss’s wife occasionally works in the shop.)

Customer: “Oh, you know, I’m great friends with [Boss]. We go way back.”

Boss’s Wife: “Oh, really? That’s funny, because I’ve been washing his underwear for ten years and I have absolutely no idea who you are!”

Ruined By Ink

| VA, USA | Liars & Scammers

Customer: “So, you have to buy ink within 90 days to get credit for recycled cartridges? That’s not fair.”

Me: “Yes. It didn’t used to be like that, but some people were buying cheap cartridges online and expired ones and recycling those to try and cheat the system, and the company was losing a lot of money, so they had to add that rule. Some people ruined it for everybody, haha.”

Customer: “Oh, I did that! Ha, I’d buy generic ones off… ”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “You were buying cheap cartridges online and expired ones and recycling those to try and cheat the system, so they had to add that rule. You helped ruin it for everybody.”

Customer: “Oh. Huh…”

Trying To Con The Family Business

| Exeter, England, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(I take a male customer’s order with him constantly asking about prices.)

Customer: “Oh, can we have the family discount?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Yeah, I always get a discount here. The owner lets me.”

Me: “He hasn’t told me anything…”

Customer: “Yeah, the owner is my brother and he always gives me the family discount.”

Me: “Okay, then… let me just ask him.”

(I signal the owner over as the customer panics and goes bright red. His family also start nudging him.)

Me: “Uh, your brother wants a discount.”

(The customer sheepishly smiles as the owner explodes in happiness.)

Owner: “Oh, my God, Jenny! I didn’t know you’d had a sex change. If you wanted to do that you could have at least kept your hair. Also you’ve put on a h*** of a lot of weight and lost over a foot in height! Why would you do that?”

(The whole restaurant was looking and the customer’s family rushed him out quicker than the owner could continue talking. Some bosses are awesome.)

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