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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    October Themed Story Giveaway Reminder: Liars & Scammers!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
    Enter Not Always Right’s October Themed Story Giveaway:
    Liars & Scammers!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about lying & scamming customers.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

    PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, November 6!

    Get Some Up-Lifted Bras To Go With Shop-Lifted Panties

    | Boston, MA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I have just clocked out at work, and I have already changed into my street clothes. I am waiting for a manager to check my bag before I can leave, as is this is store policy. While I’m waiting, I see a customer is stooped low near a table of panties and she has her purse open. I cannot clearly see what is going on, but from experience I assume she is stealing them. She makes for the door when I speak to her.)

    Me: “Would you like a shopping bag for those?”

    Customer: “Uh… what?”

    Me: “Would you like a shopping bag for those panties you just put in your purse?”

    Customer: “Oh… I was just… uh… going over to the register.”

    (She tries to casually change directions and head back towards the register.)

    Me: “Right, well, since you have no intention of paying for them, can I have them back please?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    (She looks extremely embarrassed and irritated that she got caught, but she opens her purse and pulls out the biggest wad of panties I’ve ever seen. She shoves them back onto the table.)

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (I watch her rush out of the door. It is not our store policy to confront shoplifters. However, I am not on the clock and therefore can say whatever I want!)

    Has Not Registered The Lack Of Pockets

    | UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (A customer brings some items to my register and I ring them up. The total is £5.50, and she hands me a £10 note. I’ve come across this scam many times, so rather than putting the customer’s money straight into the register, I always place it on top until the transaction is complete, and put it in the drawer at the last moment. It is summer, and I am wearing a light summer dress with no pockets.)

    Me: “Thanks, your change is £4.50, and here’s your receipt.”

    Customer: *staring at the money but not taking it* “I gave you a £20 note.”

    Me: “No, sorry, you paid with a £10 note. Your change is £4.50.”

    Customer: “No! I gave you a £20 note! You’re trying to short-change me!”

    Me: *smiling* “You gave me £10. This £10.” *I point at the note sitting on the register* “Your change is £4.50.”

    Customer: *red-faced and irate* “Get your manager!”

    (My manager is at a desk right behind me, and has heard everything.)

    Manager: “Can I help?”

    Customer: “She’s trying to steal my money! I gave her a £20, but she’s only giving me change for a £10!”

    Manager: *peering into my cash drawer* “Well, the drawer has two £5 notes, and about three £10 notes in it, but no £20 notes. Where exactly is the £20 note you paid with?”

    Customer: “Um… she must have pocketed it!”

    (The manager steps back, and makes a point of slowly looking up and down at my clearly pocketless outfit.)

    Manager: “Right… and where exactly would she have put it?”

    Customer: “Er…”

    Manager: “Right.” *to me* “Give her the change from the £10.”

    Me: “Here you go, £4.50!”

    Customer: “F*** you!”

    Manager: *to me* “I’ll make you a cup of tea. I think you need it.”

    Tearing A Rent In The Truth

    | Charlotte, NC, USACharlotte, NC, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (Rent is due on the 1st of each month, and late after the 5th. After the 5th, a late fee applies. Today is the 6th.)

    Tenant: “Here’s my rent. I was going to drop my money order in the drop slot last night but I got tied up late at work and was too tired to drive over. I’m sorry. Can you waive the late fee?”

    Me: “Well, let me see. Hmm, the date the money order was printed on was today, the 6th. So you just lied to my face.”

    Tenant: *completely unashamed* “Ha ha. Well… yeah. You know.”

    Me: “No, I don’t know.” *hands back rent* “Please come back when you have the additional late fee.”

    Tenant: “That’s just wrong! It’s only a day!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It’s the lying that’s wrong here.”

    Tenant: *slams door and leaves in indignant huff* “I’m going to call your boss and have you fired. Oooh, and you’re racist!”

    No Ram-ifications

    | ID, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the back of the thrift store, where everything is sorted and tested. A Hispanic family comes in the front of the store, carrying three very old laptops.)

    Customer: “We bought these laptops from here, and would like to exchange them from something else.”

    Manager #1: “I’ll take these back to the electronics guys, and make sure they work.”

    (He takes them back to the guys, and relays the story. While I don’t work at the electronics testing station, my area is right next to it, so I can see clearly what they are testing. They sometimes call me over because I have a strong technical background.)

    Tester: “I don’t ever remember seeing these laptops.”

    Me: “Neither do I!”

    Manager #1: “Hey, wait a minute. There is no sticker residue! Nor is there rubbing of where they should have been! Also, they didn’t come in with a receipt. Something’s fishy here.”

    (While they have me quickly test the laptops, Manager #1 gets Manager #2, who is fluent in Spanish, but Caucasian.)

    Manager #1: *in Spanish* “Hello! So, were you trying to exchange the laptops?”

    Customer: *flustered* “Did I say ‘exchange?’ I meant ‘donate!’”

    Manager #2: “Well, I’m glad we could sort out the miscommunication!”

    (Two of the laptops don’t boot up because they don’t even have a hard drive. The one that does boot has a very small amount of RAM. The kicker? Even if, by some fluke, we had sold those laptops, they would have been thoroughly tested, and all three would have been sold as ‘for parts,’ meaning that the customer wouldn’t have been able to afford even one working laptop!)


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