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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    This Scam Gets Top Billing

    | Buckinghamshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer walks up to my till with his items and hands me a £50 note. I immediately become suspicious as the transaction total is only £7.50.)

    Me: “Okay, that’s £7.50, and here’s your change.”

    (I always count up the change I take out of the till.)

    Me: “So that’s £20, £20, £1, £1, 50p, totaling £42.50, right?”

    (The customer takes the money and starts to walk out. My manager, who is nearby, sees the customer pocket something. While looking towards me, my manager points to his office before he disappears. I am about to serve the next customer when my original customer comes back up to me.)

    Customer: “Sorry, you seem to have only given me £22.50.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. But I know I counted out £42.50 exactly.”

    (The customer then places the £22.50 back on the counter and empties his front pockets.)

    Customer: “See, only £22.50. Can I have my other £20 back please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t open the till for that without a manager’s authorization. It’s against company—”

    Customer: “But this next customer is paying by cash, so you can just take it out then, can’t you?”

    Me: “No, that would be negligence on my part as I would be removing too much money from the till during that transaction, and it would not show up on our register logs.”

    (The customer then steps aside and lets the next customer come to the till. The first customer then starts insulting me in front of the other customers.)

    Customer: “You thief! You b****!”

    (I process the next customer’s items and then take his cash and open the till drawer.)

    Customer: “See? It’s open now and you won’t give me my £20 that you stole from me!”

    (The customer reaches over towards the till drawer.)

    Me: “Sir, I told you I need a manager before I can process that!”

    (I slam the till drawer closed before the customer can get near it. I then hand the next customer his change, who thanks me and leaves. I turn back to the first customer, whose face seems to be getting redder and redder.)

    Customer: “How long are you going to keep me here?!”

    (Just then, the phone next to my till rings, with the display showing ‘MANAGER.’)

    Me: *to the customer* “Just a second, sir.”

    Manager: *to me over the phone* “The customer has hidden the missing £20 in his back pocket.”

    (I try not to smile as I put the phone back down and my manager appears from the office. I turn to the customer and speak loudly enough that the other customers in line can hear.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but my manager has told me I cannot open the till to give you your £20 back, because you have it in your right back pocket.”

    Customer: *flustered* “T-that’s a lie! How d-dare you, you f*****!”

    Me: “Sir, I’ve been told to ask you to leave before we call the police.”

    (At this point I have my finger on the panic button, and he can visibly see that. He quickly gathers up his change from the counter and runs out of the store yelling profanities at my manager and me. The next customer, an elderly lady, walks up.)

    Elderly Lady: *laughing* “Even I counted it out when you did and got the same amount, and I tell you, that’s a feat at my age!”

    Outside Food, Inside Job

    | Manville, NJ, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s a busy night and, like almost every movie theater, we have a policy of no outside food or drinks. I’m ushering/taking tickets when a customer comes up to me with a large drink from another store. On busy nights the managers are always walking about and keeping a sharp eye on the lobby.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; you can’t bring that in. You have to finish it in the lobby or throw it out.”

    Customer: “But it’s tea. I’m sick.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t let you in with it.”

    Customer: “Says who?”

    (I point to the sign in front of me.)

    Me: “It’s our policy.”

    Customer: “Well, I talked to the manager, and he said it was okay that I can bring it in.”

    (My manager, who is right behind me, suddenly turns around.)

    Manager: “Hi, I’m the manager. It’s nice to meet you.”

    (The customer looks shocked, goes silent, throws the tea out, and ignores me when I let her in.)

    Honesty Is A Gift, Part 2

    | Newtown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes into the store to use a store credit. Our store always issues store credits in the form of a gift card.)

    Customer: “I’d like to purchase this with my store credit.”

    (The customer hands me the receipt only.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I would need the gift card that was issued you when you received your store credit.”

    Customer: “Oh no, that’s okay. The cashier said that I only had to bring in the receipt.”

    (I look carefully at the receipt to read the cashier name, because I would need to know which cashier successfully issued a store credit WITHOUT doing it properly, since the computer makes it fool proof.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, see, that’s a lie because I was the one that issued you your credit. Our cash registers make it physically impossible to give you a credit without that gift card…”

    Related:
    Honesty Is A Gift

    Doing A Disservice To Service With A Smile

    | UK | Bizarre, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in a call center that directs calls to local benefits offices. It’s a dull job, but I try to keep positive when I greet people on the phone.)

    Me: “Good morning, [Job Center] national switchboard, [Name] speaking; how can I help?”

    Caller: “You sound very happy.”

    Me: “Well, yes, it’s a nice day today! How can I help?”

    Caller: “No one at [Job Center] is happy. You can’t be at [Job Center]! You must be a scam!”

    (The caller hangs up.)

    Me: “…what just happened?”

    Totally Trashed The Place

    , | Tallahassee, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am busy cleaning the dining area. I have just removed a full trash bin from its holder, leaving the door to said holder wide open. This is to signal that there is no trash can there, so customers should try another one. As I start carrying the bin to the back, I hear the sound of a tray, disposable plates, and various sauces hitting the floor. I turn around to see a customer has tossed their trash into the empty space where the bin used to be, making a mess on the floor. The customer immediately looks at me like a kid that was caught stealing cookies.)

    Customer: “The nerve of some people, making such messes like this! Shame on whoever did this!”

    (The customer quickly leaves. Another customer who has seen the exchange starts laughing.)

    Other Customer: “Kinda makes you lose your faith in humanity, doesn’t it?”

    Me: *sighs* “Welcome to customer service, where everything is your fault and the reason doesn’t matter.”

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