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  • His Attitude Speaks Volumes
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  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
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    Category: Liars & Scammers

    Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

    Doing A Disservice To Service With A Smile

    | UK | Bizarre, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in a call center that directs calls to local benefits offices. It’s a dull job, but I try to keep positive when I greet people on the phone.)

    Me: “Good morning, [Job Center] national switchboard, [Name] speaking; how can I help?”

    Caller: “You sound very happy.”

    Me: “Well, yes, it’s a nice day today! How can I help?”

    Caller: “No one at [Job Center] is happy. You can’t be at [Job Center]! You must be a scam!”

    (The caller hangs up.)

    Me: “…what just happened?”

    Totally Trashed The Place

    , | Tallahassee, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am busy cleaning the dining area. I have just removed a full trash bin from its holder, leaving the door to said holder wide open. This is to signal that there is no trash can there, so customers should try another one. As I start carrying the bin to the back, I hear the sound of a tray, disposable plates, and various sauces hitting the floor. I turn around to see a customer has tossed their trash into the empty space where the bin used to be, making a mess on the floor. The customer immediately looks at me like a kid that was caught stealing cookies.)

    Customer: “The nerve of some people, making such messes like this! Shame on whoever did this!”

    (The customer quickly leaves. Another customer who has seen the exchange starts laughing.)

    Other Customer: “Kinda makes you lose your faith in humanity, doesn’t it?”

    Me: *sighs* “Welcome to customer service, where everything is your fault and the reason doesn’t matter.”

    One Good Scam Deserves Another

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I own a small coffee shop in the central business district of Auckland. It is surrounded by offices, and so our clientele are typically professional types. I am approached at the counter by a confident, well-dressed customer in a casual suit.)

    Customer: “Can you help me? I’ve locked myself out of my car, and my wife has gone off shopping. My wallet is in the car. I wonder if you could let me have a sandwich and coffee until she gets back?”

    Me: “Sure! What would you like?”

    (I proceed to serve him. He thanks me profusely and gives me his business card. The bill is no more than $12. After an hour or so, he gets up to leave and approaches me on the way out.)

    Customer: “Thanks so much! I’ll meet my wife, get into the car and come back and settle up.”

    Me: “No worries!”

    (The customer never returns. The sum involved was small, so I did not really care, but after a few days I sent a gentle text message reminder to the number on the business card. I thought maybe he forgot and could pay me next time he was in town. It turns out that the business card was not his. He had approached someone in the car park and given them the ‘locked out of car’ story and apologetically asked to borrow $10 to get home. He had also insisted that the good Samaritan who had given him the $10 also give him a business card so he could ‘get the money back to him.’ The guy tells me he thought it was a bit odd that the customer was so keen to get the card. After hearing this, I was both surprised and a little impressed at the fraudster’s boldness and ingenuity, but did not envy him. What a terrible way to choose to live: scamming people a few dollars at a time.)

    It’s What Grammy Would Have Wanted

    | Bristol County, MA, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work for a call center that handles hotel reservations. We get a lot of people who are worried about canceling and being hit with a penalty.)

    Guest: “Hi, I’m calling to cancel my reservation for the Bahamas. My grandmother passed away, and my family wants us to be close for the funeral.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry; I completely understand and I will definitely see what I can do to help.”

    Guest: “Well… I don’t think I’m within the cancel deadline; can you waive the penalty considering the circumstance? It’s just a really bad time in my life right now, and I want to be close to the family in California. Do I really have to pay the few hundred dollar charge?”

    (I check his reservation, and he’s well within the cancel policy.)

    Me: “Sir, you’re not past the deadline. There was a charge taken, but you technically still have a couple days to cancel. There’s no penalty and the charged amount will be refunded.”

    Guest: “Fantastic!! In that case, can I re-book for Aruba?”

    Me: “…I’m sorry? For the same dates?”

    Guest: “Yeah!”

    (The guest pauses, and realizes he has outed himself.)

    Guest: “…so I’m, you know, closer…”

    Their Scam Doesn’t Pan Out

    , | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, School, Theme Of The Month

    (In our college cafeteria, you can eat as much as you want. I make and cook and cut pizza and serve it on a tray, where students can serve themselves. I have just made two cheese pizzas and put one of them on the serving tray. I have made a backup due to the lunch rush. Two students approach.)

    Student #1: “Excuse me; do you have any fresh pizza?”

    Me: “The one that is there came out of the oven less than five minutes ago. I’m sure it’s quite good.”

    Student #2: “But there’s two pieces missing.”

    Me: “Well, someone came and took some pizza since I put it out.”

    Student #1: “I want some fresh pizza. Why can’t you give me a piece of the one you have there?”

    (The student points to the pizza I just put in the hot box that is used to keep food warm.)

    Me: “That pizza came out of the oven at the same time as the one that’s out on the tray.”

    Student #1: “But it’s been sitting out.”

    Me: “For less than five minutes.”

    Student #2: “Fine. Whatever b****.”

    (I turn my back to continue making pizzas, when my manager approaches.)

    Manager: “Hey, you need to get another cheese pizza out, pronto!”

    Me: “Already? I just put one out!”

    (A coworker approaches us.)

    Coworker: “Dude, did you see what happened?”

    Manager: “What?”

    Coworker: “Those girls each took four pieces of pizza when your back was turned and threw it out so they could get ‘fresher’ pizza.”

    Me: “Are you serious?!”

    Coworker: “Yeah! Here they come!”

    Student #2: “Do you have a fresh pizza out?”

    Manager: “Did you just take an entire pizza and throw it out so that you could get a different one?”

    Student #1: “Well she wasn’t serving fresh pizza!”

    Coworker: “She’s lying! [My Name] had put that pizza out maybe two minutes before they came here. Two pieces were missing because the guy in front of them took them.”

    Manager: “We’re going to have to have a little chat about wasting perfectly good food.”

    (My manager had a long talk with the girls and got them to admit that they threw out an entire pizza. After that, my manager gave me permission to refuse service to those two. Thankfully, I never saw them again anyway.)


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