November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Liars & Scammers

Ever come across a customer that has made you want to call the police? These ones pretty much ensure it. It goes way beyond the realms of shoplifting or threatening behavior. Some of these customers are too stupid even for those…

No License To Be An A**-Hole

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

(Our store has a scanner that we use to scan both products and IDs. Without scanning an ID, we literally cannot ring up age-restricted products like tobacco, lottery, alcohol, and even lighters. There is absolutely no way to bypass the system and hand type in the birthday, and the system has been in for nearly a year. I’ve worked here for about five months.)

Older Man: “…and give me a pack of [Brand] cigarettes.”

Me: “Okay, sir, may I just scan your license?”

Older Man: “What, I don’t look old enough?”

Me: “That is not the case, sir. Unfortunately, unless I physically scan the barcode on the back of your license, I cannot ring up cigarettes.”

Older Man: “That’s b*******. I’ve come here every other day and they’ve just typed in my birthday.”

Me: “…No, you have not.”

Older Man: “Excuse me, you stupid little girl?!”

(I am a transgender male, so this hit a real hard spot. I know I won’t get in trouble if I explain myself to my manager in the morning, so I go off.)

Me: “Do NOT lie to me, sir. I have worked here for almost five months and this system was in long before I started working here. I have not ONCE seen you, despite working all three shifts on multiple occasions. You have been incredibly rude this entire transaction, and you have outwardly misgendered me and I will NOT tolerate dealing with someone as horrible as you. You need to leave.”

Older Man: “This is all kinds of f***ed up. I hope you f***ing lose your job, you dumb, stupid b****.”

Me: “If you do not leave this instant I will call the police for harassment. We have your license plate and you swearing on tape.” *I point up to the camera above my head*

Older Man: “…but they ALWAYS just type in my birthday!”

(He left, but not without spitting on the door first!)

Relatively Stupid

| Perth, WA, Australia | Liars & Scammers

Caller: “Hello, I was hoping to speak to [Boss]?”

Me: “Oh, he’s actually gone home for the day! Would you like me to take a message for him?”

Caller: “No. I’m a relative and it’s incredibly important I speak to him.”

Me: “Well, if you’re family, would you like me to put you through to [Boss’s son]?”

Caller: “Who?”

I Have Twenty-Twenty Vision

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers

(I ring up a customer for two lemonades that are on sale at 2 for $5.)

Me: “All right, sir, your total is $5.39.”

Customer: *hands me a $50 bill*

Me: *checks its authenticity then puts it through and gets out his change* “All right, sir, your change is 61 cents and here’s twenty, forty, and four ones.”

(I ALWAYS count customer change back to them, especially when it is a large amount. The cashier behind me needs an override for a void, so I scan my supervisor card and turn back to him.)

Customer: “Excuse me; you only gave me $25. See, one of the twenties is actually a one.”

(I look at his hand and see a one where I definitely put a twenty before. I know he is trying to con me, so I put up my closed sign and ask the lady who was next to please go to the next cashier, who has no customers. I then page my coworker over and ask her to bring out the mobile money counter to count my till.)

Customer: “I’m not magician! Look, it’s not here!” *rolls up his sleeves*

Me: “Okay, sir, I just need to have my drawer counted first.”

Customer: “Well, how long is this going to take? Ten minutes?”

Me: “No, sir, only a minute or two.”

Customer: “Well, I’m going next door! I’ll be back for my twenty after you count that drawer!”

(Guess what? He never came back. And my till was spot on.)

In Addition, You’re An Idiot

| Baltimore, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Home Improvement, Liars & Scammers

(I am a cashier, with a customer hauling a rather expensive patio set along with some groceries in my line. I ring him up and show him the total.)

Customer: “That price is incorrect.”

Me: “I am very sorry, sir. I will have someone get a price check right away.”

(I have someone check the price of the patio set and it comes back the same as I had on the register.)

Me: “Sir, the price of that patio set is [price].”

(I show him the screen with a picture of his patio set and the price.)

Customer: “No, your total is wrong! I will show you!”

(The man then proceeds to take out a calculator and attempts to add up all his purchases.)

Me: “Sir, I can assure you the register has a built in calculator, so it does not make adding mistakes.”


(I have a rather long line building up by this point which has attracted the attention of one of my managers. She walks over and sees the man furiously typing away on his calculator.)

Manager: “Sir, what seems to be the problem here? Can I help you?”

Customer: “Your machine is broken!”

Manager: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “It’s not adding the total properly! This is very poor service!”

Manager: “One moment, sir.”

(My manager took me aside and told me to take my break. I did as she said, thankful to be out of there. Later, my manager came into the breakroom and told me that that was the third time that customer had done that in a week. Apparently he couldn’t afford the patio set so he thought he could swindle a cashier into giving it to him cheaper.)

Trying To Level With You

| Murrieta, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(We have very strict rules on height requirements for our bigger rides that often create a problem with guests that are close to but not meeting the requirement, so much so that I bought myself a level out of my own pocket to get the most exact measurements possible.)

Me: “I’m afraid your son is about an inch away and will not be able to ride, but he does meet the requirements for most of the other rides.”

Customer: “You’re kidding me. This is f***ing ridiculous.”

Me: “I’m very sorry but it is a safety requirement.”

Customer: “Well, we JUST went to the doctor and the doctors said he was 56″ inches.”

Me: “Oh, my, it sounds like your doctor may have been eyeballing it a little, or taking a guess.”

Customer: “No, he’s doctor! He was doing doctor things! He said he was tall enough.”

Me: “Well, despite that we do have to go off of the measurements on our signs.”

Customer: “You have ruined his birthday! His whole birthday is ruined! We’re going someplace else.”

(The guest stormed off out the doors while giving me the evil eye the entire time. Once she was gone I turned to my coworkers and mimed shooting myself in the head with my level.)

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