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    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    It’s Oui-Si To Understand

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “I want to order something off the menu, but everything is really hard to say and I don’t speak Spanish.”

    (We’re a French restaurant, with the word ‘French’ in our name.)

    Directionless With Languages

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Language & Words, Technology, Transportation

    (I’m working the electronics counter at a large retail store. A woman comes up to the counter and stares at the GPS systems. I ask if she needs help with anything.)

    Customer: “My old GPS broke and I need a new one, but can you help me please find one that is in English?”

    Me: “All the systems come pre-installed with English.”

    Customer: “Really? My old system speaks a language I don’t understand and that’s why I need a new one.”

    Me: “Ma’am, is your old GPS in the car? Can you bring it in?”

    (She retrieved the GPS from her car and I took less than a minute to reset the language for her. She was nearly in tears because she was so grateful.)

    Mishearing Can Be A B****

    | RI, USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

    (I’m stocking cheese and sometimes it’s difficult to hear customers clearly with the fans running in the coolers.)

    Customer: “Hey, b****!”

    (I turn and see a little old man, smiling politely and I’m sure I must have heard him wrong. He asks for the bread aisle, I send him on his way and he thanks me. Another customer rushes out of an aisle toward me.)

    Other Customer : “I can’t believe you helped that guy after he called you a b****!”

    Me: “You heard that, too?!”

    Should Have Given Them Decaf

    | ON, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I’m in line at a coffee shop before work when I overhear the following conversation between the cashier and the exhausted looking customer in front of me.)

    Cashier: “What can I get you?”

    Customer: “Coffee”

    Cashier: “Any particular one?”

    Customer: “Coffee”

    Cashier: “Okay, what size would you like?”

    Customer: “Coffee”

    Cashier: “All righty, then, one extra large mocha supreme with a shot of espresso coming up.”

    Customer: *while handing her $10* “Thank you.”

    (The cashier got the coffee and the man took it and his change with one more mumbled “coffee” and left.)

    Me: “That was weird.”

    Cashier: “No kidding”

    Me: “That’s the most expensive drink on the menu isn’t it?”

    Cashier: “Yep.”

    Lima Oscar Lima

    | TX, USA | Language & Words

    (Working the counter, I help two guys in Army fatigues bring in two big boxes of medals or ribbons that they had to separate and mail each to a different person. All was quiet for a while as they process this large order. Nearing the end I think they found a mistake because all I heard for a few minutes was:)

    Customer: “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot! Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!”