Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,792 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Havana Clue What She’s Talking About

    | Montana, USA | Language & Words

    (I have lived in the US for five years, but I still speak with a slight accent.)

    Me: “Did you find everything alright?”

    Customer: “Can someone else help me, please?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I want someone who isn’t Mexican to help me. You already took enough jobs, thank you very much.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not Mexican.”

    Customer: “Yes, yes you are!” *reads my name tag* “Maria is such a Mexican name!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m Portuguese.”

    Customer: “Oh, Mexico, Portugal, Costa Rica. It’s all the same. You come into our country and steal all of our jobs. Just because you’ve hopped the fence doesn’t give you the right to be here!”

    Me: “Ma’am, Portugal is in Europe. It’s located next to Spain. We speak Portuguese there. It is impossible to hop across an ocean and into the US.”

    Customer: “Go back to Castro then, communist!”

    D as in Duh

    | Germany | Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “This computer’s serial number is 5, 2, Bravo, Delta–”

    Customer: “Whoa, hold up! I’m a civilian, I don’t do that military lingo. Try that again.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s 5, 2, B, D–”

    Customer: “Wait, was that two B’s?”

    Me: “No, that’s Bravo, Delta.”

    Customer: “I’m not in the military! Speak English!”

    Me: “B as in Bravo. D as in Delta.”

    Customer: “There, was that so hard?”

    Eva-nonsense

    | Bellevue, WA, USA | Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

    (I approach a teenage girl who seems to be looking for something.)

    Customer: “Do you have the Evanescence CD?”

    Me: “That would be over here. It looks like the only one we have left right now is a Australian import version, if that is okay with you?”

    Customer: “What does that mean? Is she singing in Australian or something?”

    Bean There, Done That

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “I just came from Mexico. I had some good beans there. What were they? Ah, yes! Frijoles!”

    Me: “Sir, frijoles is just the word for beans in Spanish.”

    Customer: “No! I had special beans in Mexico and they were called frijoles! Get me frijoles!”

    Me: “Sir, we only have refried beans at this deli. These are frijoles. Would you like these, or something else?”

    Customer: “Frijoles! How is this so difficult to understand?”

    Me: “Sir, frijoles are beans…in Spanish.”

    Customer: “Then get me beans in Spanish!”

    Translation Is No Small Feat

    | Alabama, USA | Language & Words

    Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [supermarket]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hey, can I speak to someone in the ladies wear department?”

    Me: “That’d be me. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I bought some scrubs at another store and I was wondering what the ‘S/CH’ on the tag means?”

    Me: “It means it’s a small.”

    Customer: “But what does the ‘CH’ mean?”

    Me: “It’s the Spanish abbreviation for small.”

    Customer: “But ‘CH’; isn’t that American?”

    Me: “The letters C and H are used in a lot of different languages, including Spanish.”

    Customer: “Oh, how strange!”

    Page 63/66First...6162636465...Last