Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

Idiot, Imbecile, Moron

| Platteville, WI, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

Customer: “Do you have any synonym?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “SYNONYM!”

Me: “Do you mean cinnamon?”

Customer: “No! God! They should have an I.Q. test before hiring people!” *storms away*

Them’s The Kakes

| Canberra, Australia | Language & Words

(The stationery store I work for sells badges with letters on them. A lady comes in with a list of letters she needs, one of them being K. After pulling out all the K’s, she seems confused.)

Customer: “Oh, wait, K isn’t what I need.”

Me: “What letter do you need, then?”

Customer: “C. Cake is spelled with a C right?”

Then Again, They’re Not Wearing Pants

| Yuma, AZ, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

Me: “Welcome to [theater name].”

Customer: “Two tickets to Chippendales.”

Me: *brief moment of silence* “Um…what?”

Customer: “I said I would like two tickets for Alvin and the Chippendales!”

Me: “Do you mean Alvin and the Chipmunks?”

Customer: “Whatever, just give me two tickets to that movie!”

Your Comprehension Of Comprehension Is Incomprehensible

| Illinois, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I am a bookstore clerk at the local high school. I am talking to a mom who is getting the books her daughter needs.)

Mother: “My daughter doesn’t have a problem with comprehension! She just doesn’t understand the material.”

Indecent Disbursal

, | Georgia, USA | Language & Words

(I am a supervisor for a cell phone support center. I am plugging into my representative’s desk to grade one of their calls when I hear the following exchange.)

Customer: “So, put me on that plan then.”

Rep: “All right. I just need to go over some legal info with you.”

Customer: “Are you going to procreate me?”

Rep: “…excuse me?”

Customer: “You know, procreate me and I get some money back.”

(The rep is clearly confused, so I chime in.)

Me: “I think she means ‘prorate.'”

Rep: “Oh! Did you mean ‘prorate?'”

Customer: “Yeah! Procreate and get money back!”

Rep: “Yes. We can…prorate…your account.”

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