October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

Plz Change Abbrev, Stat

| London, UK | Health & Body, Language & Words

(If a customer gets regular medication from a pharmacy, they can have a Medicine Use Review (MUR). It’s basically talking through their meds with a pharmacist. I answer this call from a sweet elderly caller.)

Me: “Hello, pharmacy.”

Customer: “Um hello, someone just delivered my medicine. The bag has a sticker on it that says “Patient eligible for MUR.” What it is MUR?”

Me: “It stands for “Medicine Use Review,” which involves discussing your medicines with the pharmacist. However, those labels are meant for our reference, so I apologise that it’s been put on your bag by mistake. Sorry if it caused confusion.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s alright, dear. I just thought MUR might be short for murder!”

Me: “Er no, ma’am! Don’t worry, no one is going to murder you!”

Customer: “Oh, good! Thank you very much!”

In Need Of A Worldly EdUKation

| Yellowstone, WY, USA | Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

(I’m English, and work at Yellowstone Park selling ice cream as a summer work experience abroad. Often, my accent catches people off guard, and I usually have to explain why I’m there. A customer comes up to pay.)

Me: “Okay, that will be $2.95, please.”

Customer: “Hey, where’s your accent from? Are you Australian?”

Me: “Actually, I’m from England. I’m just working her for my summer between University.”

Customer: “That’s cool! How long have you been in America?”

Me: “Um, about two months.”

Customer: “And is this your first time in America?”

Me: “It is. I’m loving it!”

Customer: “Wow! You speak really good English for only being here for two months!”

Power Trips Of Ten

| New Port Richey, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Language & Words

(I work for a company that sends techs out to repair TVs and computers in customers’ homes. We have an automated call that goes out to confirm customers’ contact information and addresses. One day, a customer calls in.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [business]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I got that auto-call and it got my address wrong.”

Me: “Okay, just a second…”

(I pull up the customer’s information.)

Me: “Okay, I see that we have the address listed as 1-3-6 West—”


Me: *confused*

Caller: “You fix that, okay?”

Me: “Sure…sir. I’ll…update that right now for you.”

Caller: “Thanks…bye!” *click*

The Cuss-tomer Is Always Right

| USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top

(A mother storms into our day camp. She’s holding her five-year-old son by the arm.)

Mom: “My son said the F-word last night after coming home from YOUR day camp. I will NOT have a bunch of unprofessional teenagers setting bad examples for my child!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. I have no idea which employee could have said that, but I will definitely call a meeting with all of our counselors to discuss this.”

Mom: “Yeah, you’d better. I should have all of you fired, really!”

(She turns to leave, but as she walks away she drops her sunglasses.)

Mom: “Oh, f***!”

So Much Pun

| Springfield, MO, USA | Awesome Customers, Language & Words, Top

(I’m zoning the laundry aisle at a popular retail store. An elderly couple walks down the aisle. The husband makes a pun of every name brand he walks by.)

Customer: “CHEER up, dear. We’re in a new ERA now. We’re ALL together, and have everything to GAIN. So SNUGGLE up, but be careful. There’s a TIDE coming in, so SURF’s up!”

(Best. Old dude. Ever.)

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