Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

Shh, The Neighbors Will Hear

| Michigan, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(At our movie theater, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is playing. A 70- or 80-year-old woman approaches.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like a ticket to that new movie.”

Me: “No problem. What movie are you looking for, ma’am?”

Customer: “That new one. You know, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Nasty.”

Questionable Questioning

| England, UK | Language & Words

(I am in the concessions stand selling nachos.)

Me: “Do you want jalapeños?”

Customer: “Yes! Why is jalapeños pronounced like it has an ‘h’ in the beginning?”

Me: “I believe it’s a Spanish word.”

Customer: *indignant* “Well, I don’t really care.”

¿Cómo se dice “Anger Issues”?

| Houston, TX, USA | Language & Words

Customer: “Habla español?”

Me: “No habla español.”

Customer: “You just did.”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “You just spoke f***ing Spanish. You’re a f***ing liar!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I only speak a few phrases in Spanish. I’d be happy to find an associate that speaks Spanish to further help you.”

Customer: “You’re a f***ing racist! I speak perfect english!” *storms off*

Idiot, Imbecile, Moron

| Platteville, WI, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

Customer: “Do you have any synonym?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “SYNONYM!”

Me: “Do you mean cinnamon?”

Customer: “No! God! They should have an I.Q. test before hiring people!” *storms away*

Them’s The Kakes

| Canberra, Australia | Language & Words

(The stationery store I work for sells badges with letters on them. A lady comes in with a list of letters she needs, one of them being K. After pulling out all the K’s, she seems confused.)

Customer: “Oh, wait, K isn’t what I need.”

Me: “What letter do you need, then?”

Customer: “C. Cake is spelled with a C right?”

Page 59/75First...5758596061...Last