Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,641 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Prices Also Listed For Karate Kids

    | Mammoth Lakes, CA, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Movies & TV

    (The movie theater is small and only shows two movies. This week we were playing Grown Ups and another movie. A customer stands outside the box office looking very confused.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m confused about the movie times.”

    (I print out the movie schedule and hand it to her. She looks at it for a minute but still looks lost.)

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t help. It shows the times that you let the grown-ups in, but it says nothing about the children.”

    A Crude Assumption That Needs Refining

    | Norway | Crazy Requests, Language & Words

    Customer: “I need oil for my car. I need the 10-40.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we’re out of that.”

    Customer: “Well, go get some more.”

    Me: “I can’t just do that. I could order some for you, and it will be here in a couple of days.”

    Customer: “No! Just go back there!” *points to the storage room* “Get some from the tap.”

    Me: “The tap?”

    Customer: “I know that every gas station is connected to the oil rigs in the North Sea!”

    Can’t Take The Heat Of A Melting Pot

    | Trois-Rivières, QC, Canada | Canada, Language & Words, Top

    Coworker: “Hello sir, are you looking for something?”

    Customer: “I refuse to be helped by you. You’re Chinese. You’re another one of these darn immigrants stealing the honest Canadian’s jobs!”

    Coworker: “Well, my grandmother is from Japan, but I assure you I was born in the province of Quebec.”

    Customer: “Lies, lies and lies!” *spots me* “Finally, a prime example of our good Canadian youth. Young sir, can you help me please?”

    Me: *in my New Brunswick accent* “Sure I can. What are you looking for?”

    Customer: “What kind of accent is this? Are you German? Or Russian? Get me the manager! I don’t understand how a sane person could hire these instead of a hard working Canadian!”

    Me: *grabbing the phone* “Calling Maria to front desk.”

    Customer: “Maria!? That’s Latino!”

    IQ Falls In The West

    | Hays, KS, USA | Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “Alright sir, in order to get this taken care of we will need to know the manufacturer of brand name of the product.”

    Customer: “I’m sorry, I don’t quite understand.”

    Me: “The company that makes the product.”

    Customer: “I still don’t understand.”

    Me: “It will state who makes it on the product.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know! It was China!”

    Cinnamon Puns

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words, Top

    Customer: “Our daughter is looking for a book called Antonyms and Cinnamons.”

    (I type it into our search system, but no dice.)

    Me: “Would you know the author’s name?”

    Customer: “No, I forget. It was something weird though. She wrote it down, but I forget.”

    Me: “Might you mean Antonyms and Synonyms?”

    Customer: “Yes! That’s it!”

    (I search again.)

    Me: “Nothing with that exact title is coming up. Was there more to it?”

    Customer: “The author’s name. It was something funny. Sounded like a dinosaur. Wait, I think I might have it here.”

    (She searches through her pockets and fishes out a little folded piece of paper.)

    Customer: “Here it is. Antonyms and Cinnamons by Theo Saurus!’”


    Page 56/62First...5455565758...Last