Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Motherly Advice To Mother
    (1,548 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Knocked It Before He Thai’d It

    | St. Paul, MN, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (Our store has a hot lunch station, which includes soup made in house.)

    Customer: “Is there a schedule for the soups? Like, is it the same thing week after week?”

    Me: “It is right here.” *pointing to this month’s soup menu*

    Customer: “It seems like the soups lately have all been kind of, well, leftish fringe. All red lentils and stuff.”

    (He scrutinizes the menu, muttering to himself.)

    Customer: “Ha! ‘German Sausage and Potato’. That’s normal. Who knows what the h*** is in ‘Thai Curry’."

    South Of The Border Of Intelligence

    | Illinois, USA | Language & Words

    (I’ve just answered a customer’s question in Spanish. Another customer has apparently heard it.)

    Customer: “Wow, you don’t even look Mexican!

    Me: “Well, that’s because I’m not.”

    Customer: “But you just talked to that woman in Spanish!”

    Me: “My father is Puerto Rican, so I’m pretty fluent.”

    Customer: “You’re not Mexican?”

    Me: “No. I’m American. Shall we go ahead with your transaction?”

    Customer: “Wow. Your English is excellent. No trace of a Mexican accent.”

    Me: *jokingly* “Well, it’s pretty hard to have a Mexican accent if you’ve never been to Mexico.”

    Customer: *winking* “Right.” *looks around* “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”

    Lost In No Translation

    | The Hague, Netherlands | Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (A lost-looking tourist enters the shop.)

    Tourist: “Do any of y’all speak American?”

    Me: *joking* “I’m sorry, but we can only speak English.”

    Tourist: “Okay, sorry to bother you.” *leaves*

    Take It Away, Uncle Sam

    | New Zealand | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (Fast food places are often referred to as takeaway stores in New Zealand.)

    Me: “Hello and welcome to [fast food]. May I take your order?”

    Customer: “So, what is a tar… key… ah… way…?”

    Me: “Um, takeaways. As in food you can take away.”

    Customer: “Oh, is it a Maori word?”

    Me: “No sir. It’s an English word. May I ask, are you from out of New Zealand?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m from America, but you’re lying about takeaways being an English word. I’ve been to Canada and they don’t use it there!”

    In Soviet Russia, Language Speaks You

    | Langley, BC, Canada | Books & Reading, Language & Words

    (I am the customer in this story. I am looking for a certain book on WWII, but am having trouble finding the section.)

    Employee: “Hey, could I help you find something?”

    Me: “Ah, yes! I’m trying to find [book]. Could you help me?”

    (The employee has a very wide-eyed surprised look. She slowly nods and motions for me to follow.)

    Employee: *speaking loudly and slowly* “Sir, these help?”

    Me: “No, I’m looking for History.”

    Employee: “Umm…” *looks down the books and hands me a Russian-English dictionary.*

    Me: “Ah, I wasn’t speaking English was I?” (She shakes her head and I laugh.) “Sorry about that, I was looking for [book].”

    (The employee laughs and takes me to where I had wanted to go, the rest of our conversation thankfully in English.)

    Page 55/64First...5354555657...Last