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    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Idiot, Imbecile, Moron

    | Platteville, WI, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “Do you have any synonym?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “SYNONYM!”

    Me: “Do you mean cinnamon?”

    Customer: “No! God! They should have an I.Q. test before hiring people!” *storms away*

    Them’s The Kakes

    | Canberra, Australia | Language & Words

    (The stationery store I work for sells badges with letters on them. A lady comes in with a list of letters she needs, one of them being K. After pulling out all the K’s, she seems confused.)

    Customer: “Oh, wait, K isn’t what I need.”

    Me: “What letter do you need, then?”

    Customer: “C. Cake is spelled with a C right?”

    Then Again, They’re Not Wearing Pants

    | Yuma, AZ, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Welcome to [theater name].”

    Customer: “Two tickets to Chippendales.”

    Me: *brief moment of silence* “Um…what?”

    Customer: “I said I would like two tickets for Alvin and the Chippendales!”

    Me: “Do you mean Alvin and the Chipmunks?”

    Customer: “Whatever, just give me two tickets to that movie!”

    Your Comprehension Of Comprehension Is Incomprehensible

    | Illinois, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I am a bookstore clerk at the local high school. I am talking to a mom who is getting the books her daughter needs.)

    Mother: “My daughter doesn’t have a problem with comprehension! She just doesn’t understand the material.”

    Indecent Disbursal

    , | Georgia, USA | Language & Words

    (I am a supervisor for a cell phone support center. I am plugging into my representative’s desk to grade one of their calls when I hear the following exchange.)

    Customer: “So, put me on that plan then.”

    Rep: “All right. I just need to go over some legal info with you.”

    Customer: “Are you going to procreate me?”

    Rep: “…excuse me?”

    Customer: “You know, procreate me and I get some money back.”

    (The rep is clearly confused, so I chime in.)

    Me: “I think she means ‘prorate.’”

    Rep: “Oh! Did you mean ‘prorate?’”

    Customer: “Yeah! Procreate and get money back!”

    Rep: “Yes. We can…prorate…your account.”

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