Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,961 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    All Aboard The U.S.S. Gluteus Maximus

    | Nevada, USA | Language & Words

    Customer: “Is there a** sailing here?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer: “A** sailing. You know, like rock climbing?”

    Me: “You mean abseiling?”

    Customer: “That’s what I said!”

    Made From Soylent Green

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Me: “What salad would you like?”

    Customer: “Lettuce, cucumber, capsicum, Filipino–”

    Me: *laughing* “Did you mean jalapeño?”

    Language That Belongs In The Toilet

    | Apple Valley, MN, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I’m stocking shelves when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any a** wipe?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “You know, a** wipe?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Toilet paper?”

    Me: “Oh! Aisle 6.”

    (The customer smiles and leaves. I’m from the area, so I can confirm that “a** wipe” isn’t a regional term for toilet paper!)

    You’re An Idi0t

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Language & Words

    (I’ve just handed the customer her credit card receipt.)

    Customer: “Why do they put that diagonal line through the O’s?”

    Me: “To distinguish the zeroes from the O’s.”

    Customer: “But they’re the same thing.”

    Me: “Zero is a number, but O is a letter.”

    Customer: “No, they’re the same thing!”

    Sure Thing, Sweet Cheeks

    | Ontario, Canada | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (We have international newspapers that we keep behind us at the till. Also, I’m female. I’ve just finished ringing up some British newspapers for a customer.)

    Me: “Have a brilliant day.”

    Customer: “Can I take a look at your rack?”

    (This not only catches me off guard, but all the staff and customers within earshot, who turn and look at us.)

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “I just want to see what else you’ve got to offer.”

    (Everybody is still staring.)

    Customer: *realizing what he’s said* “Oh! Your newspaper rack.”

    Page 50/67First...4849505152...Last