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    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    If At First You Don’t Succeed, Thai Again

    | Ontario, CA | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words

    Guest: “Kamsamnida!”

    Me: “Excuse me sir?”

    Guest: “Did I not pronounce that right? Kamsamnida! It means ‘thank you’ doesn’t it?”

    Me: “Oh! I’m sorry, I’m Taiwanese, not Korean.”

    Guest: “Oh! I’m so sorry! Wow! Taiwanese eh? Is Thai food good? I’ve always wanted to try Thai food! Teach me how to say ‘Thank you’ in Thai?”

    Related:
    If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again

    Actions Point Louder Than Words

    | Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

    Father: “Hi, I’m here to drop off my son.”

    (I notice there is another child with him, who is of Asian descent.)

    Me: “Is this other child yours too?”

    Father: “Oh no, he’s a foreign exchange student from Japan.”

    Me: “Oh! That’s nice. Does he speak English?”

    Father: “No, none at all, actually.”

    Me: “Well, does your son speak Japanese?”

    Father: “Not a lick.”

    Me: “How are we supposed to communicate with him? This is an outdoor camp, sir. He could get hurt if he can’t understand directions.”

    Father: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. Just point a lot.”

    Related:
    Shogun The Way To Go Home

    When Bygones Mean Bi-Gones

    | Kentucky, USA | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “You’re not from around here are you?”

    Customer: “Nope, I’m from Canada.”

    Me: “Oh cool! Do you speak French?”

    Customer: “Yup, I’m bilingual.”

    Other Customer In Line: “Down here, if something’s bi, we shoot it.”

    Best Oosik To What You Know

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “Excuse me, what is this?”

    Me: “That’s an ‘oosik’.”

    Customer: “What’s it made of?”

    Me: “It’s umm.. the lower anatomy of a walrus.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “It’s a part of a male walrus.”

    Customer: “What part?”

    Me: “It’s a petrified walrus penis.”

    (The customer laughs and runs over to his wife. They talk in their language for a bit then he drags her over by the arm, still giggling.)

    Customer: “Tell her what it is!”

    Ordering Pizza, Talking Baloney

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a lunch lady at a high school, and one of the students there is going to be leaving for a trip to Italy soon.)

    Me: “What kind of pizza would you like?”

    Student: “One pepperoni, one cheese.”

    Me: “So are you excited to spend two months in Italy?”

    Student: “Yeah, but I’m really going to miss all the good food here at school. Especially pizza.”

    Me: “But you’ll be in Italy right? So you can have pizza there.”

    Student: “Yeah but it won’t be authentic pizza from America. It’ll just be cheap Italian knock-offs.”

    Related:
    Ordering Meatballs, Talking Baloney


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