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    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Shh, The Neighbors Will Hear

    | Michigan, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (At our movie theater, “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close” is playing. A 70- or 80-year-old woman approaches.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a ticket to that new movie.”

    Me: “No problem. What movie are you looking for, ma’am?”

    Customer: “That new one. You know, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Nasty.”

    Questionable Questioning

    | England, UK | Language & Words

    (I am in the concessions stand selling nachos.)

    Me: “Do you want jalapeños?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why is jalapeños pronounced like it has an ‘h’ in the beginning?”

    Me: “I believe it’s a Spanish word.”

    Customer: *indignant* “Well, I don’t really care.”

    ¿Cómo se dice “Anger Issues”?

    | Houston, TX, USA | Language & Words

    Customer: “Habla español?”

    Me: “No habla español.”

    Customer: “You just did.”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Customer: “You just spoke f***ing Spanish. You’re a f***ing liar!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I only speak a few phrases in Spanish. I’d be happy to find an associate that speaks Spanish to further help you.”

    Customer: “You’re a f***ing racist! I speak perfect english!” *storms off*

    Idiot, Imbecile, Moron

    | Platteville, WI, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “Do you have any synonym?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “SYNONYM!”

    Me: “Do you mean cinnamon?”

    Customer: “No! God! They should have an I.Q. test before hiring people!” *storms away*

    Them’s The Kakes

    | Canberra, Australia | Language & Words

    (The stationery store I work for sells badges with letters on them. A lady comes in with a list of letters she needs, one of them being K. After pulling out all the K’s, she seems confused.)

    Customer: “Oh, wait, K isn’t what I need.”

    Me: “What letter do you need, then?”

    Customer: “C. Cake is spelled with a C right?”

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