Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Just Telling It Like It Is
    (3,032 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Kin Tell A Lot About This Patient

    | Saskatchewan, Canada | Bigotry, Language & Words

    (I work at a walk-in clinic. A new patient has come in and I am gathering his information for his file at the front desk. He has blond hair, blue eyes, and is 30. He has been otherwise polite to this point. Note that another patient is standing in line behind him.)

    Me: “So, that’s almost it. Last question: who’s your next of kin?”

    Patient: “Am I Mexican?! What kind of racist question is that? I ain’t no Mexican freak, you racist B****!”

    Me: “Sir, I didn’t ask if you were Mexican. I asked for your next of kin.”

    Patient: “What the f*** is a ‘next of kin?’ You are just trying to make things up to cover up your racism!”

    Other Patient: “‘Next of kin’ is your emergency contact, moron.”

    Patient: “Oh, in that case, my mom. Her contact info is the same. I still live at home.”

    Other Patient: “That explains so, so much…”

    Teaching A Righteous Dimwit Is Stressful

    , | USA | Geeks Rule, Language & Words

    (My friend and I are really big Doctor Who fans, and we are also crafty. One day, she makes me a T.A.R.D.I.S. bracelet out of duct tape. FYI: the T.A.R.D.I.S. is the Doctor’s transport and is in the shape of big, blue police box. I am working in the drive-thru when this took place.)

    Me: “Hello, that is going to be [price].”

    Customer: *hands me her money*

    Me: “Your change is [amount].”

    Customer: “What an interesting bracelet!”

    Me: “Oh, thank you. A friend of mine made it.”

    Customer: “What is it supposed to be?”

    (I’m holding my hand out so that she can take a better look at it.)

    Me: “It’s a Tardis.”

    Customer: *blank look*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “That is just terrible!”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Customer: “Using the ‘R’ word isn’t bad enough for you kids? Now you have to come up with some slang term? That is terrible!”

    Me: “The… ‘R’ word?”

    Customer: “RETARD!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the Tardis is a shop from a sci-fi show… not slang for retard.”

    Customer: “Don’t you give me any excuses, little missy. You are in a lot of trouble. Wearing something to promote calling retards retarded is despicable. I need to speak to your manager!”

    (Despite trying to explain otherwise, my manager had to give her a free coupon to keep her from calling corporate to complain. I also can’t wear the bracelet to work anymore. It sometimes sucks being a nerdy girl in a small town.)

    A Man Of Few Words

    | England, UK | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am working in the candy bar and am finalizing a group’s order.)

    Me: “What size drink do you want?”

    Customer: “Sprite.”

    Me: “Size?”

    Customer: “Sprite.”

    Me: “Size?”

    Customer: “Sprite!”

    Me: “Size?”

    Customer: “SPRITE.”

    Me: “SIZE?!”

    Customer: “SPRITE!”

    (At this point, the customer smashes his fist on the bench and storms off, leaving his mates looking very awkward and embarrassed. Long story short: he wanted a large.)

    Related:
    A Woman Of Few Words

    Not Seeing The Problem Here

    | Tampa Bay, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (I am a server at a rather nice restaurant in the downtown area. It’s New Year’s Eve and a couple in their forties are enjoying the after-meal cocktails while waiting for the midnight fireworks.)

    Me: “How are the drinks?”

    Customer: “Great, thanks.”

    Me: “Anything else that I can get for you at the moment?”

    Customer: “I’m fine.”

    Customer’s Wife: “I’ll have another glass of wine, please.”

    Me: “No problem at all—”

    Customer: “You know, I really hate people that use that term ‘No problem.’ It’s as if to say you doing your job is an inconvenience. You should just do it.”

    Me: “My apologies, sir. It’s merely a turn of phrase. I will get your drink right away.”

    (I walk off, a little irritated, but otherwise still smiling. Some time goes by without incident and this table continues to get drinks up until close, at which point the customer approaches me as I’m doing some side work.)

    Customer: “Hey, I think I was being a bit of a jerk earlier with that whole “No problem” thing. My wife made me come over and apologize.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s fine, sir.”

    Customer: “No, really, I’m sorry about that!”

    Me: *without thinking* “It’s no problem, sir.”

    (We both realize what I’ve said and the the customer stares at me, but he bites his tongue and shakes my hand before walking away. His wife just behind him? Cracking up!)

    You’re Welcome, Custer Mer

    | Jacksonville, FL, USA | Language & Words, Top

    (An older gentleman calls our doctor’s office with questions about an upcoming test he is scheduled for. We talk at length about what is going to be done and why it was going to be done.)

    Patient: “I’m sorry to have so many questions.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s no problem. You can always call and ask for clarification when you need it.”

    (I answer several more questions.)

    Me: “Okay, Mr. [name]. I hope I have been able to help.”

    Patient: “Thank you very much, Clara Fication! You’ve been very helpful.”

    Page 41/66First...3940414243...Last