Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,193 thumbs up)
  • Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Talking About A Whole Other Animal

    | Trier, Germany | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (Trier is an ancient city with many Roman ruins. At the moment there is a traveling show in town showing lizards, snakes and amphibians. I’m on my way home.)

    Tourist: “Excuse me. We are looking for the amphibian theater.”

    Me: “The lizard show? It’s all the way on the other side of the city.”

    Tourist: “No! The amphibian theater! The Roman gladiators!”

    Me: “Oh! You mean the Amphitheater. Just 50 meters that way.”

    This Argument Is Short And Sweet

    | Lee's Summit, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work in a Mexican restaurant. I’m getting the drink order.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a sweet tea.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We only have unsweetened tea, but we have different sweeteners available at the table here.”

    Customer: “Not having sweet tea is un-American!”

    Me: “Sir, this is a Mexican restaurant.”

    Customer: “…touché.”

    An Inappropriate Touchdown

    | USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Transportation

    (I’m ordering a personalized plate for the customer. I ask the customer what he wants on the license plate.)

    Customer: “I’m a Colts fan. What about COLTFAN?”

    Me: “I’ll check… Seems to be taken.”

    Customer: “Hmm… What about CLTFAN?”

    Me: *blushing* “Well, I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

    Customer: “What? Oh! Um, just a regular plate. Sorry about that.”

    Es-pwñ-ol, Part 2

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Language & Words

    (My coworker is Mexican, but has very fair skin. Our store has more than 60,000 item numbers. While the employees who work in certain sections know the products and the numbers in their area, cashiers have to look the numbers up in the computer.)

    Customer: “Hi. I was wondering what the price on this item is.”

    Coworker: “Of course. Let me just look up the number for you.”

    Customer: *to her friend in Spanish* “Can you believe this dumb b****? Can’t even tell me the price for this stupid thing.”

    Coworker: *in Spanish* “The price for that is [price]. Can I help you with anything else?”

    (The customer turned white and quickly walked away!)

    Related:
    Es-pwñ-ol

    A Pleasing Surprise

    | Wildwood, NJ, USA | Language & Words

    (I am the customer in this story. I am on a camping trip at a boardwalk. I approach an ice cream stand.)

    Me: “Hi! Could I please have a cone of mint ice cream?”

    Cashier: “Sure— Wait. Did you say please?”

    Me: “Um. Yes?”

    Cashier: “Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone else say please!”

    (The cashier turns to a coworker.)

    Cashier: “Hey, [Coworker]. Have you?”

    Coworker: “I don’t think so. Maybe only kids.”

    Cashier: “Thanks! Here’s your ice cream! Have a good day!”

    Me: “Thank you! You, too!”

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