Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Making A Mute Point
    (2,388 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Poo Poo Your Oui Oui

    | Canada | Bigotry, Language & Words

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [restaurant]; will it just be the two of you dining today?”

    Woman: *in a thick French accent* “Yes, two.”

    (The female customer then turns to her male companion and begins speaking very angrily in French.)

    Woman: “This is just terrible; no one here speaks French. This is discrimination; we should be able to get service in our own language.”

    Me: *speaking French* “I apologize. I didn’t realize that the two of you spoke French. I’d be more than happy to help you today!”

    Woman: *speaking English* “Ugh! Your French is just awful! Don’t even bother; I’m going to speak English. I don’t want to have to listen to your terrible accent for our entire meal.”

    Lost In Their Own Translation

    | Belgium | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

    (My husband and I are from America. We move overseas to Belgium for his job, and make every effort to learn the native language. I am shopping for a computer part, but am tripping over the technical terms. The clerk mercifully switches over to English for my benefit. As he is helping me, a few native men queue up behind me and overhear us.)

    Customer #1: *in French* “Such a typical American; expecting everyone to cater to them and their stupid language.”

    Customer #2: *in French* “Can’t blame her. This b**** looks too stupid to learn French.”

    Me: *in French* “Looks can be deceiving, gentlemen.”

    (The customer turns red and quickly wanders off. The clerk is laughing so hard, he has to sit down.)

    She Also Speaks Ironic

    , | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

    (I manage a fast food restaurant. I’m currently serving a customer who is from East Asia. She is clearly new to the country, as she is having significant trouble with the transaction, and I’m finding it difficult to communicate. My coworker steps in.)

    Coworker: “Excuse me, where are you from?”

    Asian Customer: “I am from Korea.”

    (Suddenly, the next customer in line speaks up.)

    Customer: “Racist! You’re a racist!”

    Coworker: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I said you’re a racist! It doesn’t matter where this young lady comes from, she should be welcome in your store. You should feel ashamed!”

    (The shouting customer turns to me.)

    Customer: “You! Do something about her!”

    Me: “I absolutely agree. You see, my coworker here is studying a master’s degree in Asian studies. She was just asking because she could process this transaction in Korean, Japanese, Mandarin, Cantonese or Indonesian, and didn’t want to look like an idiot by making an assumption about someone she didn’t know.”

    Stereotypes Are A Bigot’s Best Friend

    | Stewart, BC, Canada | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

    (Born and raised in Donegal, Ireland, I moved to Canada in my late teens. I still carry an extremely thick accent. I am working my first day at a call center and pick up the phone.)

    Me: “Hello, my name is Danny; how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry; what did you say? Your name is Darry?”

    Me: “My name is Danny, sir. Short form of Daniel.”

    Customer: “Wait, are you a Scotsman?”

    Me: “Irishman, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, f***’s sake! Put me on the phone with someone who can help me.”

    Me: “Well, sir, I am new to this profession, but I assure you that I’ll—”

    Customer: “No, just shut up and get me an American! You can go get drunk off an a**-load of whiskey that you pale f***s live for.”

    Me: “Sir, with all due respect, I work in a Canadian call center, and therefore most of the workers here are Canadian, not American.”

    Customer: “I can’t understand you! You’re slurring because of how f****** drunk you always are! Go get me your boss, ya f****** Leprechaun!”

    (I proceed to put my boss on the phone, who happens to be an African-American.)

    Customer: “Sir, my call was just answered by an Irishman.”

    (My boss raises an eyebrow at me, and I shrug.)

    Boss: “Yes, and?”

    Customer: “And I want to make that next time I call, I don’t end up with a n****** on the other end. Real people should be doing this kind of work. I’m sure you’re a respectable man who will think about this.”

    Boss: “Actually, sir, I happen to be black.”

    Customer: “Oh, s***!” *hangs up*

    A Cursory Attitude To Cursing

    | MI, USA | Books & Reading, Language & Words

    (A couple walk into my store.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you find anything?”

    Woman: “Yes, we’re looking for the book Go the F**k to Sleep.”

    Me: “I think I have that right back here.”

    Man: “Honey, I think ‘go the F to sleep” is the polite way to say that.”

    Me: “No worries. If I’m selling it, I should be able to hear it.

    Man: “Touché.”


    Page 14/57First...1213141516...Last