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    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    This Argument Is Short And Sweet

    | Lee's Summit, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work in a Mexican restaurant. I’m getting the drink order.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a sweet tea.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We only have unsweetened tea, but we have different sweeteners available at the table here.”

    Customer: “Not having sweet tea is un-American!”

    Me: “Sir, this is a Mexican restaurant.”

    Customer: “…touché.”

    An Inappropriate Touchdown

    | USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Transportation

    (I’m ordering a personalized plate for the customer. I ask the customer what he wants on the license plate.)

    Customer: “I’m a Colts fan. What about COLTFAN?”

    Me: “I’ll check… Seems to be taken.”

    Customer: “Hmm… What about CLTFAN?”

    Me: *blushing* “Well, I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

    Customer: “What? Oh! Um, just a regular plate. Sorry about that.”

    Es-pwñ-ol, Part 2

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Language & Words

    (My coworker is Mexican, but has very fair skin. Our store has more than 60,000 item numbers. While the employees who work in certain sections know the products and the numbers in their area, cashiers have to look the numbers up in the computer.)

    Customer: “Hi. I was wondering what the price on this item is.”

    Coworker: “Of course. Let me just look up the number for you.”

    Customer: *to her friend in Spanish* “Can you believe this dumb b****? Can’t even tell me the price for this stupid thing.”

    Coworker: *in Spanish* “The price for that is [price]. Can I help you with anything else?”

    (The customer turned white and quickly walked away!)

    Related:
    Es-pwñ-ol

    A Pleasing Surprise

    | Wildwood, NJ, USA | Language & Words

    (I am the customer in this story. I am on a camping trip at a boardwalk. I approach an ice cream stand.)

    Me: “Hi! Could I please have a cone of mint ice cream?”

    Cashier: “Sure— Wait. Did you say please?”

    Me: “Um. Yes?”

    Cashier: “Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone else say please!”

    (The cashier turns to a coworker.)

    Cashier: “Hey, [Coworker]. Have you?”

    Coworker: “I don’t think so. Maybe only kids.”

    Cashier: “Thanks! Here’s your ice cream! Have a good day!”

    Me: “Thank you! You, too!”

    Walking A Mile With Another Man’s Candy

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am checking out a customer.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you doing today?”

    (The customer just mumbles something. I am scanning his groceries. I am almost finished when he says something to me.)

    Customer: “Grab me a couple of sneakers back there.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

    Customer: “Get me two sneakers from over there!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I do not understand what you are asking for.”

    Customer: “Are you stupid or deaf? A COUPLE D*** SNEAKERS! RIGHT BEHIND YOU! JESUS CHRIST!”

    Me: “Sir, there is no need to take that tone with me, as I am neither deaf or stupid.”

    (The customer is getting furious with me. The next customer behind him in line tries to clarify the misunderstanding.)

    Next Customer: “I think he’s asking for SNICKERS Candy Bars.”

    Me: “Thank you. I’m sorry, sir. I’ll get them for you.”

    Customer: “Never mind! If you’re too f****** stupid to understand what I am asking for, what the h*** are you doing workin’ with customers?!”

    Me: “Sir, I apologized for not understanding you. But you can not and will not talk to me in that foul manner. There are children around. Even if there weren’t, you should never speak to anyone like that. That is completely uncalled for!”

    Customer: “F*** you! Give me my d*** change!”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (He finally gets his things and leaves. The next customer steps up.)

    Next Customer: “I didn’t understand him at first. I thought he was asking for a d*** pair of shoes!” *laughs*

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