Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century
    (1,621 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Pot Calling The Kettle Everything

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work in a South American restaurant that tends to get a lot of Asian customers. Since I’m fluent in Mandarin Chinese, Korean, Khmer [Cambodian], and Tagalog [Philippines], I’m often called on to serve customers who don’t speak English. A group of seven customers come in.)

    Customer #1: *obviously struggling* “Can… I… has this?”

    Me: *taking a guess* *Mandarin* “Would you be more comfortable in Mandarin?”

    Customer #2: *Korean* “Stupid Mexicans. Can’t even tell the difference between a Korean and a Chinese man.”

    Me: *Korean* “I apologize, ma’am. I guessed based on [Customer #1]‘s accent and it seems I was wrong. Can I take your order now?”

    Customer #3: *English* “No. I want to talk to your manager.”

    (I go back to get the manager, who is Peruvian.)

    Manager: “Can I help you?

    Customer #3: “Yes. I want to complain about your Mexican waiter’s horribly racist demeanor.”

    Manager: “How was he being racist? He’s usually very culturally sensitive.”

    Customer #4: “You Mexicans are all the same, never bothering to think that maybe there are more types of Asians than just Chinese people.”

    Manager: “First of all, your waiter is from Puerto Rico. I’m from Peru. So maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to complain about being unable to differentiate ethnicity.”

    Customer #3: “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

    (Sighing, my manager assigns a Chinese-American waiter to them. He can only speak English and ends up having to have customers 3 and 4 translate for the rest of their table in order to get their order. Amazingly, they never complained about the difficulty in ordering.)

    Talking About A Whole Other Animal

    | Trier, Germany | Funny Names, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel

    (Trier is an ancient city with many Roman ruins. At the moment there is a traveling show in town showing lizards, snakes and amphibians. I’m on my way home.)

    Tourist: “Excuse me. We are looking for the amphibian theater.”

    Me: “The lizard show? It’s all the way on the other side of the city.”

    Tourist: “No! The amphibian theater! The Roman gladiators!”

    Me: “Oh! You mean the Amphitheater. Just 50 meters that way.”

    This Argument Is Short And Sweet

    | Lee's Summit, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work in a Mexican restaurant. I’m getting the drink order.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a sweet tea.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We only have unsweetened tea, but we have different sweeteners available at the table here.”

    Customer: “Not having sweet tea is un-American!”

    Me: “Sir, this is a Mexican restaurant.”

    Customer: “…touché.”

    An Inappropriate Touchdown

    | USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Transportation

    (I’m ordering a personalized plate for the customer. I ask the customer what he wants on the license plate.)

    Customer: “I’m a Colts fan. What about COLTFAN?”

    Me: “I’ll check… Seems to be taken.”

    Customer: “Hmm… What about CLTFAN?”

    Me: *blushing* “Well, I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

    Customer: “What? Oh! Um, just a regular plate. Sorry about that.”

    Es-pwñ-ol, Part 2

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Language & Words

    (My coworker is Mexican, but has very fair skin. Our store has more than 60,000 item numbers. While the employees who work in certain sections know the products and the numbers in their area, cashiers have to look the numbers up in the computer.)

    Customer: “Hi. I was wondering what the price on this item is.”

    Coworker: “Of course. Let me just look up the number for you.”

    Customer: *to her friend in Spanish* “Can you believe this dumb b****? Can’t even tell me the price for this stupid thing.”

    Coworker: *in Spanish* “The price for that is [price]. Can I help you with anything else?”

    (The customer turned white and quickly walked away!)

    Related:
    Es-pwñ-ol


    Page 11/62First...910111213...Last