Category: Language & Words

This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

You Just Drank PP

| ON, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(A lady and her husband walk into the store and order two medium coffees, one with milk, and one with double cream and double sugar. It is required that we mark the lid in order to determine whose beverage is whose, so I mark the drink with double cream and double sugar. Usually for this I write ‘dd’ on the lid. I put the drink on the counter, and the lady walks over to pick up her drink. She looks at the drink and asks me why I put two ‘p’s on the lid.)

Me: “Ma’am, those are ‘d’s. The drink is facing the opposite way”.

Her: “Why don’t you put the proper “D”s on the lid?”

Me: “I use that to indicate decaf coffee.”

Her:“But the ‘d’ is not a real letter anyway; learn to write properly next time.” *walks off in a huff*

Say Sayonara To Intelligence

| Miami, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Geography, Language & Words

(I work at a Japanese restaurant and yes, I am Asian. There is a family of four sitting at a table.)

Me: “Good evening, everyone. Can I start you guys off with anything?”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I am from Taiwan.”

Customer: “Oh, wow! My son is taking Japanese in school. Do you speak Japanese?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “That’s a shame. Can I have a California Roll?”

Accenting The Listening Problem

, | WA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I’m working in the drive-thru and taking orders. Note: I have no accent and I’m frequently complimented on how clearly I speak in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi would you like to try our new sandwich?”

Customer: “ENGLISH!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, you do speak English.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I’ve been speaking English this entire time.”

Customer: “I thought you were speaking another language.”

Been Called All The Names In The Hundred-Acre Wood

| Jackson, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I have have been called just about every name in the book. I am refusing to sell beer to a customer who is too drunk.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you’re just too intoxicated and I can’t let you have it.”

Drunk: “I’m not driving so what the f*** is your problem, fat-a**!”

Me: “I’m sorry; can’t do it.”

Drunk: “Come on, man. I won’t tell.”

Me: *being very nice as it does really bug them when I don’t get mad* “Sorry, guy, still can’t sell.”

Drunk: *getting REALLY UPSET* “You know what you are? You’re a Pooh butt! You’re a Winnie the Pooh butt!”

(I’ve heard everything but not that, so I started laughing really hard which got him more and more upset. I told him that was the funniest thing I had ever been called and he got REALLY mad and just walked out.)

Acting Out Of Border

| Kehl, Germany | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I am shopping in a store in Germany, really close to the French border, and only one full line is open. An elderly woman with only one melon asks the cashier if they could open a second line, which they do. When the second line opens, another woman with a full cart rushes in the other line to be first. The elderly women with the melon is second, and I am third.)

Elderly Woman: *in German* “Please, I only have one item to buy. May I go through?”

Other Woman: *in French* “I don’t understand what you say. Please stay behind.”

Me: *in French* “She just wanted to go through since she only has one item.”

Other Woman: *in French* “Aw, what a shame. I was here first! And she could at least speak to me in French! Tell her she has to stay behind like everyone else would have.”

Elderly Woman: *in French too* “Are you kidding me? You French people cross the border to do grocery shopping here and WE have to speak in French? Also, I was waiting in the other line and asked for a new line. You just rushed like you were the only one in the store. How impolite is that?”

Other Woman: *still in French* “I don’t believe how rude those Germans are. You can be assured that I won’t shop here again!”

(The cashier finally let the elderly woman pass first, while the other woman was grumbling. Hopefully she’ll be more cooperative next time.)

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