Featured Story:
  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
    (1,938 thumbs up)
  • Category: Language & Words

    This category features customers whose mishandling of vocabulary and grammar are so bad that we literally have no words to describe them!

    Has An Asian Dissuasion

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words

    (I work as an intern pharmacist at a pharmacy. Even though I’m still in school, I’m comfortable enough to consult patients on common prescriptions. A woman comes up to pick up some antibiotics and my supervising pharmacist asks me to consult with her on the medication. I am Asian, raised speaking Chinese, but born in Canada and moved to California when I was young, so I speak English and Chinese fluently.)

    Woman: “Hi, I’m picking up for [Woman].”

    (I find the prescription, and bring it to the counter.)

    Me: “All right, I have it here. Have you ever taken this medication before?”

    Woman: *screaming behind me at the pharmacist, who is white* “CAN I HAVE YOU HELP ME?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can help you.”

    Woman: *still waving at the pharmacist*

    (Giving up, I walk behind the counter, and tell my pharmacist what happened. She moves up to take care of the woman. I stay behind the counter, but I can still hear their conversation.)

    Pharmacist: “How can I help you?”

    Woman: “I’m just picking up my medication.”

    (My pharmacist finishes the consultation as usual. When she finishes…)

    Woman: *speaking at normal volume* “I don’t know why you have him back there. How do you know if he can even speak English?”

    Pharmacist: “Ma’am, he speaks English fluently. He is a current pharmacy student.”

    Woman: “But he’s Chinese. No one could understand his English.”

    Pharmacist: “Ma’am, his English is fine. Just a good as mine.”

    Woman: “I don’t think you should have him here…”

    (She walks out like nothing happened. My pharmacist walks back behind the counter.)

    Me: “What was she talking about?”

    Pharmacist: “I don’t know. I guess she’s either new to the city or she never noticed how many Chinese people are in San Francisco.”

    The Signs Of Change

    | Omaha, NE, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Language & Words

    Me: “Paper or plastic?”

    Customer: “Paper.” *after some consideration* “No, plastic.”

    (My bagger obviously doesn’t catch the change, and continues bagging in paper.)

    Customer: “Excuse me!” *snaps her fingers in front of the bagger’s face* “Weren’t you listening? I want plastic! Not paper! You should be paying attention!”

    (My bagger, startled, gives her a confused look and starts signing something, indicating that he’s deaf. The woman goes extremely pale.)

    Customer: “Uh, thank you. Goodbye.” *she grabs her bags, still paper, and rushes out of the store*

    (My bagger then slides me a note that says:)

    Note: “What I said to that woman was so rude.”

    Seven, Eight, Nein!

    | MD, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (I work part time at my dad’s plumbing company, which bears our last name, doing basic office work, and learning about running a business. I’m filling out a work order for an older customer’s rental home. We live in an area with a lot of German heritage.)

    Me: “And can I have your address?”

    Customer: “It’s seventy-seven [Street Name].”

    (I write the address down and, per usual, cross my sevens.)

    Customer: “Look at your sevens. That’s a very German way of writing.”

    Me: “Well, you know, as you can tell from my very German last name, we’ve got a lot of German blood.”

    Customer: *leaning in and glaring* “That’s how they found the Nazis you know. They made them write stuff down and look at their sevens.”

    (The customer is now quite close to my face and glaring at me.)

    Me: “You don’t say…” *slowly backing up behind the service counter* “Well, I think I got everything here…”

    Customer: *suddenly very chipper* “That’s great! Hope to see you soon!”

    Dad: *apparently overhearing everything* “Did that guy just call us Nazis?!”

    I Hail From Unenthusia

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Awesome Workers, Language & Words

    (I witness the end of this conversation between a customer and my coworker. The customer sometimes comes in drinking alcohol, and my coworker is usually very sweet and polite.)

    Customer: “What’s your accent?”

    Coworker: “Sorry?”

    Customer: “Where’s your accent from?”

    Coworker: “…I’m from here. Australian.”

    Customer: “Oh… You sound more American or something…”

    (The customer finishes his transaction and leaves.)

    Coworker: “More like my accent was unenthusiasm…”

    A Total Brazil Nut

    | France | Food & Drink, Geography, Language & Words

    (Every year I work at a local fair as a waitress, at a travelling Brazilian restaurant. I am not a native, but my Portuguese is perfect. A Brazilian woman, accompanied by a French friend, sits at one of my tables and interrupts other customers while I finish taking their orders.)

    Customer: *in Portuguese* “YOU! Come serve me right now! I’m starving. I am Brazilian, you know! Brazilians eat a lot. We are not like these skinny French people who don’t eat a thing. These French people can wait. I can’t!”

    (After explaining her the different formulas she can choose from, she goes for all you can eat beef.)

    Me: “I will only serve the side dishes, and the meat slicers will cut prime beef into a plate whenever you want it.”

    Customer: “My friend doesn’t want to eat; just a cocktail, because she is French, and these people don’t eat like Brazilians.”

    (Her friend confirms it to me in French. When her plate and the friend’s cocktail are ready I start serving her the side dishes.)

    Customer: *yelling* “What is this? Are you putting me on a diet? This is NOT what I had ordered! I wanted all you can eat beef and you are not serving me meat! This is outrageous! If this were Brazil, you’d be fired straight away!”

    Me: “I am sorry; maybe I haven’t explained myself very clearly. I am just serving the side dishes, and the gentlemen other there will come straight to your table and cut beef right into your plate.”

    Customer: “I have another HUGE problem. Look at my friend; she’s got nothing to eat. This is so rude of you; you have only served her a drink. She may be one of those skinny French, but she has the right to eat you know! This is clearly not Brazil! What part of Brazil are you from to be such a bad waitress?”

    Me: “I am sorry; I’ll bring food to your friend right away. And I am not actually Brazilian. I am a local.”

    Customer: “Why would they dare employ a non-Brazilian? This is outrageous! French people are just NOT qualified to work here.”

    Me: “Well, you hadn’t noticed my accent until now, so it means my Portuguese is good enough to work here. Besides, I’ve lived in Brazil, I am married to a Brazilian, and I am also a certified samba instructor, so it is not as if I didn’t know anything about your culture.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! This is a scandal! You are not Brazilian! You are such a bad waitress! Call the boss; I’ll make sure you’ll get fired because you are not Brazilian! You can’t possibly know how to serve us. You are a disgrace to my country!”

    (I refused to continue serving her. When she finished eating, she made a scandal at the checkout. While leaving, she met the restaurant’s boss, and told him that the service had been horrible, that I had been rude to her, and that French people shouldn’t work at such a place. She also complained about the ‘fat b****’ she had to deal with at the checkout. The boss replied that no one had ever complained about the quality of my service, and that the ‘fat’ woman at the checkout was his pregnant wife. He told her to never dare come back again, and insulted her in front of a bunch of laughing Brazilians.)

    Page 1/7412345...Last