Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

Dishrag For The Hag

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m currently working in a hotel helping out at our breakfast bar as the assistant to the usual hostess. She would usually work alone but since we sold out she asked me to come in and help attend to the guests’ needs. I’m cleaning a table when I glance around and see a woman with a rather irritated look on her face…)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. Is everything to your liking this morning?”

Guest: “NO! The carpet in the halls smell horrible, the rooms are overpriced and small, the gym for your place is across the road, and you let pets stay here. This hotel is the worst I ever stayed at.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. We always try our best to please our guests and provide a clean facility. We apologize about the workout center being across the road but we didn’t have room to build it into the hotel at our last renovation.”

(While saying all this I was thinking if she can’t even cross a road she probably isn’t much of a fitness person.)

Me:  “Is there anything I can get for you from our breakfast bar? I might be able to place a special order if you would like.”

Guest: “Nothing you have to offer can make up for a crappy place like this. As soon as my husband is finished we’re leaving.”

Me: *trying to act politely interested* “Okay. Well. I hope you enjoy your trip today, Where are you two heading? Do you need any direc—”

Guest: “Don’t! Just. Stop. Talking. I hate talking to everyone in the morning and you’re only annoying me.”

Me: *at this point I want to throw my dishrag at her but merely smile* “Okay. Let me know if you do need something.”

(A moment later, as I continue cleaning another table, another guest comes up to sit at the recently cleaned seat.)

Other Guest: “I have no clue what she was talking about because this place is the best stop we made our whole trip. This town is great and the customer service is excellent here. I don’t know how you kept your cool with her; I would have choked her with that dishrag.”

(I’m laughing inside since I wasn’t the only one to think this. After a while I tell my coworker what happened and she goes to talk to the husband while the wife is away. She comes back to assure me that everything is fine with a suppressed smile on her face.)

Coworker: “I asked if he needed anything and he replied ‘a new wife! She’s driving me crazy this trip and has complained everywhere we went!'”

(I wanted to offer him my dishrag for the road.)

Plenty Of (Full) Room To Hone Your Skills

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Politics

(I enter the lobby of a hotel I’m staying at to find the receptionist face to face with a very red-faced woman.)

Woman: “Look, stop with the bull about being full! I KNOW you always have a few rooms that you keep open for emergencies!”

Receptionist: “Ma’am, while I am sincerely sorry, we are located at the hub of a major metropolitan area that draws over three million tourists per year. Typically we get reservations non-stop from Memorial Day to Labor Day. If we were to examine this from a logical and an economic perspective, wouldn’t it make more sense to give every room we have to those who wish to reserve them, rather than keep one or two open and thus deny ourselves the profit from them?”

(The lady gawks and sputters, turning redder by the second.)

Woman: “Well… what if President Obama came in and asked for a room, huh? What if one of his family came in? Would you turn them away?”

Receptionist: “Yes, we would.”

Woman: “Exactly! So why can’t you… wait… what?”

Receptionist: “With all due respect, Ma’am, the President would have the sense to plan ahead so neither he nor his family would need to ask for a room. What’s more he doesn’t stay at this hotel when he comes to the area; he stays at [other hotel].”

Woman: “But…”

Receptionist: “FURTHERMORE, I don’t think the President would want the bad publicity from asking us to throw someone out of their room so he could take it. Therefore, why should we do that for you?”

(The woman sputters some more, then finally just screams, loud enough that I have to cover my ears, and runs out the door to her car.)

Receptionist: “I apologize that you had to be witness to that, sir.”

Me: “I… uh… no, I think the apologies should go to you, as well as the congratulations for the way you handled that. Never seen someone get driven away by the force of logic.”

Receptionist: “Yeah, well, don’t be too impressed. I’m only able to do that because I’ve had plenty of customers just like her to hone my skills on.”

Getting The Booking Is A Bumpy Ride

| ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I work as a front desk agent at a hotel near very upper crust college. Parents’ weekend comes by, and all area hotels are long sold out. A man approaches my desk:)

Guest: “Hi, I have a reservation for Mr. and Mrs. [Name].”

Me: “Yes, you do.” *though I burn inside because this guest has used his Diamond status to bump another guest reservation out so he could get a room* “Let me check you in.”

Guest: “Thank you. And I also have a room for my parents, Mr. and Mrs. [Other Name].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is no reservation. And all area hotels are sold out.”

Guest: “What? This is not right. Let me see your computer.”

Me: “I cannot do that but I assure you there is no reservation.”

Guest: “D*** IT! WHAT IN THE H***!? I CAN NOT HAVE MY EIGHTY YEAR OLD PARENTS MISS THIS WEEKEND! GET THAT ROOM FOR ME!”

(Our manager arrives, and using his skill and access calls the Diamond Guest Service Number. He then turns back to the guest and tries to suppress a smile.)

Manager: “It seems you did make a reservation here for your parents.”

Guest: “Thank you! Finally, some intelligence.”

Manager: “However, per the agreed on policy for Diamond guests, you are only allowed one room reservation where you bump a previously reserved guest. Since you made your reservation after you made your parents’, you bumped them out.”

Guest: “Fine! I’ll take my business elsewhere.”

Manager: “Of course. But we will charge you for your room anyway as you did not cancel in the allotted time.”

Doubly Impressive

| UK | Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging

(My parents are the customers in this story. They are staying at a very charming B&B in Britain.)

Mum: “I can’t believe how well the owner looks after this place, especially considering that he’s on his own.”

Dad: “I know! Everything’s spotless. He must work terribly hard; it seems that every time I turn around I see him busy doing something.”

Mum: “Hey, there’s the owner over there. Let’s go tell him what a great job he’s doing.”

Dad: “…that’s strange. I saw him only a few minutes ago, and I could have sworn he was wearing a different shirt.”

Owner: *overhearing* “You do realize that I have a twin brother, right?”

A Sky High Request

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Customer: “Come quick! There’s a weird loud noise!”

Me: “Is it the air conditioner? Is it another guest?”

Customer: “No, it’s neither of those! I don’t know what it is but it’s keeping me up!”

(I go to see.)

Customer: “You hear it? It’s here.”

(I hear a faint thud thud thud noise.)

Me: “Sir, I think that’s a helicopter outside.”

Customer: “It keeps coming back. What are you go to do about it?”

Me: “Sir that’s probably a government helicopter. I can’t call the government and tell it not to go.”

Customer: “Stupid government!”

Page 6/33First...45678...Last