October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

Her Head Is Already In The Clouds

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(I’m a duty manager at a five-star hotel, which is part of an international chain. I’ve just been up to the top floor to let one of our highest tier loyalty program members into her room to find her passport she’d forgotten and we take the lift back down to the lobby together…)

Guest: “So if I’m going to Amsterdam what will they let me take with me?”

Me: “…Flying there?”

Guest: “Yeah! From Gatwick.”

Me: “O… kay… You mean like in your luggage?”

Guest: “Yeah, like, what type of bag?”

Me: “Oh!! Well that usually depends on the airline. Who are you flying with?”

Guest: “Jeanette.”

Me: *blank look*

Guest: “She’s my best friend.”

Me: “No…”

Her Sanity Is Under Construction

| Seattle, WA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(I am working as a front desk supervisor and have checked a very sweet, older lady into a very specific room type; she wanted as high as possible, facing the Space Needle. A few minutes after she went upstairs she returned to the desk.)

Customer: “I LOVE the room!”

Me: “Great! I’m so glad you like it!”

Customer: “But…”

Me: *in my head* “Oh, no. Here it comes.”

Customer: “There’s a crane in my view.”

(Seattle at this point had (and still has) a ton of construction going on. About halfway between the hotel and the Needle there is condo construction, and indeed, a crane, but the lady is 46 floors up so it is not blocking the Needle at all.)

Me: “Yes, Seattle does have a good bit of construction now. I can certainly move you to a different view with no cranes.”

Customer: *still being very sweet and cheerful* “Oh, no, honey. I don’t want to change rooms. I LOVE my room. I want the crane to be moved.”

Me: “Um… ma’am you realize that would cost millions in late deadlines, loss of pay for workers, cost to move it and then put it back…”

Customer: *again, still super nice* “Oh, I know, honey. Money is no object! I just want a pretty view!”

(At this point I started to look for cameras, thinking I was being pranked. I excused myself and went to tell my Director of Rooms the situation. He thought I must be joking at first too, but then he went out to speak with the lady. She was just as nice and happy with him, but was just certain we would get this crane moved for her. My director finally got her a list of phone numbers for the city, the construction crew, and the people that own the building. He told her that since they would probably want to talk money, it would be better it she spoke with them herself. She happily took the list, thanked us, and left. The crane never moved.)

Lost The Discount

| Denver, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(This is a phone conversation:)

Me: “Hello, this is [Hotel Name and Location]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I’ve been driving around for twenty minutes looking for you. I think you should give me a discount.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

(I give directions to the hotel from where she is. She’s basically around the corner.)

Customer: *obviously not listening* “Yeah, but I want a discount.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s not something I can discount for. You are always free to call if you need help, though.”

Customer: “But I want a discount.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t.”

Customer: “…An upgrade then.”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “…Okay.”

(She arrives at the front desk and I start checking her in. I’ve acknowledged the fact that I spoke to her on the phone before.)

Customer: “I got lost. Give me a discount.”

Me: “…No.”

Customer: “Upgrade?”

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 10

| Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(We have an elderly guest who stays at the hotel for years and treats it like her own personal nursing home despite the fact that we do not have the manpower or facilities to take care of her. One night I answer the phone to this, I am the only one on staff.)

Me: “Front Desk. This is [My Name].”

Guest: “[My Name]! Come up here and help me.”

Me: *internal sigh* “What can I do for you?”

Guest: “Help me put on my panty hose!”

Me: *knowing what this means, as she’s done similar things before* “I’m sorry, I can’t leave the desk for that.”


Me: “No, [Guest], that’s just not something we can do for you.”

(I hang up and she calls back repeatedly, flooding the phones so I can’t answer any other phone calls or check anyone in. I finally just decide to go up.)

Guest: “FINALLY.”

(She answered the door – naked from the waist down. She handed me a pair of panty hose, which I then dutifully helped her into. This is not the first or last time this has happened.)

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 9
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 8
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 7

Good Matt Hunting

| Denver, CO, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Movies & TV

Coworker: *to woman who has walked through the door* “Hi there! What can I do for you!”

Woman: “I’m looking for Matt Damon’s room.”

Coworker: *checks computer* “I don’t have anyone under that name… Did you mean the movie star, Matt Damon?”

Woman: “Yes!”

(We are a nice hotel, but not THAT nice.)

Coworker: “I’m pretty sure he’s not here.”

Woman: “But he’s picking me up here! I’m going to call him!”

Coworker: “O… kay.”

(She lets her stay on the couch for a half hour to wait for Matt Damon. A little bit after we switch out, the woman comes back to the front desk.)

Woman: “I’m going to go wait out front for him!”

(She then wandered out the door and into the busy parking lot, and walked aimlessly out into the neighborhood.)

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