Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

A Rested Development

| Rapid City, SD, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Religion, Theme Of The Month

(A guest due to check out comes to the front desk to extend her stay. It is a Sunday. I am not a Christian.)

Guest: “Yes, I’d like to extend my stay one more night.”

Me: “Okay, I just need your key cards, and I can re-make them for tonight.”

Guest: “You know, we wanted to leave today, but it’s Sunday. It’s the Lord’s Day, the day of rest, so we’re doing as he commands.”

Me: *blinking at this woman while rapidly coming up with a politically correct and professional answer* “There is no such thing as a day of rest in hospitality.”

(The guest didn’t say another word while I took care of her reservation for another ‘day of rest.’)

Don’t Call My Name, Antonio

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

Me: “Good morning, you’ve reached [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “I want to speak to Antonio.”

(I am new, but I don’t think there is an Antonio working at the Hotel.)

Me: “Are you sure you have the right number? Or do you know what department he works in?”

Caller: “Of course I have the right number! This is [Hotel]! Antonio is one person higher than the General Manager and one person lower than the owner! Just put me through to Antonio!”

(At this point I ask my supervisor whether we have an Antonio.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, Antonio is not usually based at our hotel. He is based at [Company].”

Caller: “I don’t care if he’s based on the f****** moon! Put me through to the moon!”

An Attack On Common Sense

| USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

(A man and his wife and a bunch of teens check in. All day, the teens are running freely outside, even when it turns dark. Our part of the city is notorious for crime, and one of the teens nearly gets attacked by a mugger. Fortunately, she is unharmed. The man approaches me.)

Man: “My daughter nearly got attacked outside! What are you going to do about it?”

Me: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Man: *throws hands up* “It’s all your fault! If you’d been watching her better–”

Me: “Sir, I am NOT a babysitter.”

Man: “You sure are! You’re responsible for all the guests here! And she’s a guest! What kind of place is this, that doesn’t care when their charges gets attacked!”

Me: “I’m just a clerk. Now, would you like me to call the police for you?”

Man: “Fine, whatever!”

(I called the police. The policeman came and told him what I wanted to: that he was responsible. Later, the man wrote on a comment card complaining about me for not babysitting his kid!)

Won’t Go Down For Downtown

| MI, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Transportation

(We occasionally get calls from hotels to arrange transportation for their guests. This happened on a Sunday evening.)

Hotel Clerk: “Hi, I was wondering if you could take a guest of mine? He wants… Where do you want to go, sir?”

(I can hear the guest in the background, very loud and rude.)

Hotel Clerk: “He wants to go downtown. How much is that?”

Me: “With us, that’s $30, one way. I can speak with him, if you’d like.”

(The clerk proceeds to hand the phone over. The customer is audibly drunk.)

Customer: “How much is it to go downtown?”

Me: “It’s $30 with our service, sir.”

Customer: “No, no, no, no, no. No. I’ll give you $20.”

Me: “Our prices are firm, sir. We are a luxury service.”

Customer: “Well, aren’t you just precious. You’re so sweet; I’m going to give you $20 for it and that’s all.”

Me: “No. We will not go below $30 for this trip, sir.”

Customer: “Who do you think you are? I can call up any cab service for less, but I’m offering to give you $20 for this.”

(At this point, the clerk grabs the phone away from his guest.)

Hotel Clerk: *clearly desperate* “So can you take him?!”

Me: “He’s drunk, isn’t he?”

Hotel Clerk: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m sorry you have to put up with him, but he’s not getting in one of my vehicles. Here’s the number to a cab service. They’re going to be cheaper and they might actually put up with him. Best of luck. He cannot be easy to have right in front of you.”

Hotel Clerk: *defeated* “Okay. Thanks.”

Might Not Be A Queen But Sure Acts Like One

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(An elite member comes to the front desk and asks if he can transfer to a suite, because he can’t see the TV from his bed in his king room.)

Me: “I have a suite that becomes available on Wednesday, but it has two queen size beds instead of a king.”

Guest: “Two queens?” *dramatically unzips jacket, and points to his ‘Happy Anniversary’ Disneyland pin* “Does THIS look like someone who should get a room with two queens?”

Me: “…no?”

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