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    Category: Hotels & Lodging

    A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

    The Language Just Flows

    | France | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words

    (My aunt and her family are in a hotel in France. We’re German, and she doesn’t really speak any French or English beyond a few words, just enough to get things hilariously wrong. She finds that their bathroom is missing its toilet brush (German word for brush: Bürste.) She decides to go to the reception desk to complain, only realising that she didn’t know all the English words for what she wanted to tell them.)

    Aunt: “Toilet burst! Toilet burst! TOILET BURST!”

    (The poor guy probably had visions of pure horror…)

    A Cab Will Just Go And Go And Chicago

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Transportation

    Guest: “Can you call me a cab to take me to O’Hare?”

    Front Desk: “Sure, but you might want to consider flying there since you’re in Dallas.”

    Guest: “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

    Midwest Going South

    | West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

    (Most of the time when guests have a clogged toilet they come down or call and ask for a plunger or someone to come up. After all, we really don’t need to know WHY it’s clogged to fix it (and honestly we don’t want you to tell us).)

    Guest: “Yeah, could I have a plunger? I just took a good old Midwestern s***!”

    Me: “I did not know that was something the Midwest was known for…”

    Balking At Your Talking

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (It is morning, and all the guests are eating breakfast. Since no one is asking for service, I relax and chat with my coworker. A man and woman come up, with annoyed expressions.)

    Man: “Hey, you!”

    Me: “Yes? Can I help you with something?”

    Man: “Yes! You can help by not talking to your friend!”

    Me: “You mean, my coworker?”

    Woman: “Yes! Her! You’re supposed to work here, not chit chatting! I’ll be telling your manager about you slacking off!”

    Man: “What kind of service is this, where the workers just chatter on?”

    Me: “Well, I was just talking with my coworker here since there was no one in line or at the counter.”

    Man: “No, I don’t want you to do that! It’s very rude!”

    Me: “So…  you don’t want me to talk to my coworker?”

    Woman: “Yes, exactly! You are here to serve us! Nothing else! You hear me?”

    (They storm off, very incensed.)

    Manager: “What was that all about?”

    (They did complain, and their complaints were laughed off.)

    Has No Room To Maneuver

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    Lady: “I’d like a room.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we have no more.”

    Lady: “What? WHY NOT?!”

    Me: “Because we have run out of rooms to sell.”

    Lady: “Don’t be smart!”

    Me: “You want me to act dumb?”

    Lady: “No! I want YOU to give ME a room!”

    Me: “Look, we don’t have any more. I don’t know–.”

    Lady: “Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! I come in a hotel, and they don’t have rooms?! What madness is this?”

    Me: “Um—”

    Lady: “The whole POINT of hotels is to have rooms. Otherwise, it’s like me going into a mattress store and they have no mattresses! Or a hardware store and they have no wrenches!”

    Me: “I’m sure that even hardware stores run out of wrenches every once in a while… As for the mattress stores, they have plenty of stock in their warehouse for delivery. We can’t ‘deliver’ rooms and we have no warehouse.”

    Lady: “Stop being an a**!”

    (She ranted and raved about the ‘insane’ idea of a hotel having no rooms, and was eventually escorted off by security, still screaming!)

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