Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Clawing Back Faith In Humanity
    (1,757 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Hotels & Lodging

    A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

    (Dead) Wrong Number

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (We have received dry cleaning, so I call a guest to let him know he can pick it up.)

    Guest: “Steven’s Mortuary: You stab ‘em, we slab ‘em.”

    Me: “Oh…hello. This is the front desk. I was just calling to let you know your dry cleaning is here.”

    Guest: “Oh! Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

    Me: “That’s okay, sir. That was the most interesting call I’ve had all day.”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 2

    | St. Cloud, MN, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Underaged

    Me: “Do you have an ID?”

    (The girl hands me her ID. She’s 21. She walks in, the boy she’s with starts following her.)

    Me: “Oh, do you have an ID with you?”

    Him: “Um…”

    Me: “An ID?”

    (He hands me his room key and smiles.)

    Me: “This isn’t…”

    Him: “I know.” *walks sadly out*

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea

    Married To No One Inn Particular

    | Annapolis, MD, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m checking in a woman who walked into our hotel. We have 2 rooms left, and are one of the pricier hotels in the area.)

    Me: “Your room will be [price] plus tax per night.”

    Customer: “You don’t have anything cheaper?”

    Me: “Not right now. We are almost sold out tonight.”

    Customer: “Not triple A?”

    Me: No, I’m sorry.

    Customer: *mumbling* “My house burned down!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry.”

    Customer: *mumbling* “I’m dying!”

    Me: “Uhm…”

    Customer: “My husband just died!”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “He was in the military! I want a room for a hundred dollars less!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t ever offer rooms that low. There are hotels right across the street that do, though.”

    Customer: “No! I want to stay here! My husband loves this place. It’s the only place he will stay.”

    Me: “Your deceased husband?”

    Customer: “Uh, no, the other one.”

    Me: “Your other husband?”

    Customer: “Just give me a room.”

    (She gets keys, walks out of the hotel, and returns with a man.)

    Customer: “See, he isn’t dead!”

    Me: “I’m glad to see that.”

    Customer: *to man* “She was trying to kill you!”

    Weeding Out The Good Customers

    | Outer Banks, NC, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (It is a slow night and I am working with a co-worker when a guy walks in.)

    Co-Worker: “Hi! How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Do you have a room for tonight?”

    Co-Worker: “Just tonight?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Co-Worker: “How many in your party?”

    Customer: “Just one.”

    Co-Worker: “Do you have a smoking preference?”

    Customer: “Weed?”

    Me: *just hearing the last part of the conversation* “What?”

    Co-Worker: “We’re keeping him.”

    Excuses That Don’t Hold Water

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers

    Me: “Thanks for calling [hotel], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a room next weekend. My kid has a swim meet down there.”

    Me: “Okay. Rooms with two doubles are going for $135.”

    Customer: “Give me a corporate rate on that room.”

    Me: “Sir, corporate rates are for business travel. You just told me you were coming for a swim meet.”

    Customer: “Well, uh, I sell swimsuits!”

    Related:
    Logic That Doesn’t Hold Water

    Page 25/27First...2324252627