Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

Sub-par Subway Humor

| Washington, D.C., USA | Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(A man and his nervous looking wife approach.)

Man: “Hello, we’d like to get information on how to ride the subway around?”

Me: “Sure. To ride the subway you have to purchase a ticket from the machine there.”

Wife: “It’s safe around here, isn’t it?”

Me: “Of course.”

Wife: “I don’t believe it!”

Man: “Honey, it is perfectly fine.”

Me: *deciding to kid her* “Actually, you must be careful. Sometimes the subway trains will spit you out if you don’t board them fast!”

(The man starts laughing and his wife looks like she might faint.)

Me: “I’m kidding. They don’t do that!”

Wife: *not listening* “I’m going home!” *runs off*

Me: *to man* “Gee, good thing I didn’t say anything about the ticket price. Now, that’s scary.”

(He stopped laughing.)

The Language Just Flows

| France | Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words

(My aunt and her family are in a hotel in France. We’re German, and she doesn’t really speak any French or English beyond a few words, just enough to get things hilariously wrong. She finds that their bathroom is missing its toilet brush (German word for brush: Bürste.) She decides to go to the reception desk to complain, only realising that she didn’t know all the English words for what she wanted to tell them.)

Aunt: “Toilet burst! Toilet burst! TOILET BURST!”

(The poor guy probably had visions of pure horror…)

A Cab Will Just Go And Go And Chicago

| Dallas, TX, USA | Geography, Hotels & Lodging, Transportation

Guest: “Can you call me a cab to take me to O’Hare?”

Front Desk: “Sure, but you might want to consider flying there since you’re in Dallas.”

Guest: “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

Midwest Going South

| West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Tourists/Travel

(Most of the time when guests have a clogged toilet they come down or call and ask for a plunger or someone to come up. After all, we really don’t need to know WHY it’s clogged to fix it (and honestly we don’t want you to tell us).)

Guest: “Yeah, could I have a plunger? I just took a good old Midwestern s***!”

Me: “I did not know that was something the Midwest was known for…”

Balking At Your Talking

| USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

(It is morning, and all the guests are eating breakfast. Since no one is asking for service, I relax and chat with my coworker. A man and woman come up, with annoyed expressions.)

Man: “Hey, you!”

Me: “Yes? Can I help you with something?”

Man: “Yes! You can help by not talking to your friend!”

Me: “You mean, my coworker?”

Woman: “Yes! Her! You’re supposed to work here, not chit chatting! I’ll be telling your manager about you slacking off!”

Man: “What kind of service is this, where the workers just chatter on?”

Me: “Well, I was just talking with my coworker here since there was no one in line or at the counter.”

Man: “No, I don’t want you to do that! It’s very rude!”

Me: “So…  you don’t want me to talk to my coworker?”

Woman: “Yes, exactly! You are here to serve us! Nothing else! You hear me?”

(They storm off, very incensed.)

Manager: “What was that all about?”

(They did complain, and their complaints were laughed off.)

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