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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Hotels & Lodging

    A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

    As White As Our Sheets

    | Durant, OK, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    Guest: “I think my room might be haunted.”

    Me: “Excuse…me?”

    Guest: “It’s haunted. Can I move to a new room?”

    Me: “Um, yes. I can do that for you.”

    Guest: “Could you check the new room first? Make sure there is no bad energy?”

    Me: “I can try, sir…”

    Call 911: We’ve Got A Serious Case Of Insensitivity

    | Alberta, Canada | Hotels & Lodging

    (I am a supervisor at a hotel in the Canadian Rockies. This particular day, I am on duty alone and on the phone with a caller when this takes place.)

    Guest: *shouting* “Call 911 now!”

    (I glance up from the phone call to see that a guest has collapsed in the lobby.)

    Me, on the phone: “There is an emergency and I need to put you on hold.”

    (I put him on hold to call 911. I alert the paramedics and begin first aid on the fallen guest. In the meantime, my boss goes behind the desk to assist other clients. He notices there is a call on hold and picks up.)

    Boss: “Yes, sir. I understand, sir, however, there is a legitimate emergency taking place in the lobby as I speak which she had to attend to.”

    Caller: *inaudible*

    Boss: “Yes, I understand your time is important, as is your business, however, I am sure you can appreciate why she was called away so abruptly.”

    Caller: *inaudible*

    Boss: “That’s fine, sir, you can have your lawyer contact us if you deem it necessary.”

    (Dead) Wrong Number

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    (We have received dry cleaning, so I call a guest to let him know he can pick it up.)

    Guest: “Steven’s Mortuary: You stab ‘em, we slab ‘em.”

    Me: “Oh…hello. This is the front desk. I was just calling to let you know your dry cleaning is here.”

    Guest: “Oh! Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

    Me: “That’s okay, sir. That was the most interesting call I’ve had all day.”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 2

    | St. Cloud, MN, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Underaged

    Me: “Do you have an ID?”

    (The girl hands me her ID. She’s 21. She walks in, the boy she’s with starts following her.)

    Me: “Oh, do you have an ID with you?”

    Him: “Um…”

    Me: “An ID?”

    (He hands me his room key and smiles.)

    Me: “This isn’t…”

    Him: “I know.” *walks sadly out*

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea

    Married To No One Inn Particular

    | Annapolis, MD, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m checking in a woman who walked into our hotel. We have 2 rooms left, and are one of the pricier hotels in the area.)

    Me: “Your room will be [price] plus tax per night.”

    Customer: “You don’t have anything cheaper?”

    Me: “Not right now. We are almost sold out tonight.”

    Customer: “Not triple A?”

    Me: No, I’m sorry.

    Customer: *mumbling* “My house burned down!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry.”

    Customer: *mumbling* “I’m dying!”

    Me: “Uhm…”

    Customer: “My husband just died!”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “He was in the military! I want a room for a hundred dollars less!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t ever offer rooms that low. There are hotels right across the street that do, though.”

    Customer: “No! I want to stay here! My husband loves this place. It’s the only place he will stay.”

    Me: “Your deceased husband?”

    Customer: “Uh, no, the other one.”

    Me: “Your other husband?”

    Customer: “Just give me a room.”

    (She gets keys, walks out of the hotel, and returns with a man.)

    Customer: “See, he isn’t dead!”

    Me: “I’m glad to see that.”

    Customer: *to man* “She was trying to kill you!”


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