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    Category: Hotels & Lodging

    A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

    Making A Whole Lot Of Noise About It

    | Champaign, IL, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque

    (I am calling a room as I’ve had an ‘unusual’ noise complaint. Normally, because of being the overnight shift, I would investigate in person. Given the nature of the complaint I’ve decided to use the hotel phone and call the room. After several minutes, a guest finally answers.)

    Guest: “Hello?”

    Me: “Hello, sir. This is the front desk. We—”

    Guest: “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS? HOW ABOUT A LITTLE PRIVACY? OR IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?”

    (The guest continues rant for about a minute before winding down.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry about the inconvenience but we have a noise complaint near your room. The… ah, ‘sex noises,’ grunting and moaning, that have been going on for over 30 minutes are keeping other guests up. They are asking you to keep the sex down so they can sleep.”

    (There is eight seconds of dead silence.)

    Me: “Sir, are you still there?”

    Guest: *click*

    (We did not receive another noise complaint!)

    Powerless To Help

    | Wooster, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (There is a horrible ice storm that knocks out the power to almost the entire city. I am passing a room when a customer in only a towel opens her door and catches me.)

    Customer: “I don’t have power.”

    Me: “I know, ma’am. The power is down.”

    Customer: “When will it be up?”

    Me: “I… don’t know? Whenever the power company can get it back up?”

    (The customer huffs at me and goes back in her room. A few minutes later, I am coming out of the laundry room again. The same customer stops me, still in just her towel.)

    Customer: “I need to dry my hair.”

    Me: “I can get you more towels.”

    Customer: *holds up her hair dryer* “I need this.”

    Me: “As I told you, ma’am, there’s no power.”

    Customer: “Well, can I take it up to the front desk?”

    Me: “…ma’am?”

    Customer: “They have plugs, don’t they?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but they have no power. The power is out all over the city.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (The customer closes the door, and opens it again immediately.)

    Customer: “What about the bank?!”

    Me: “The bank…?”

    Customer: “The one across the street! They have power!”

    (I go to the window and look out. The bank and the entire strip it’s part of are dark.)

    Me: “They don’t have power, ma’am.”

    Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! I just need a f****** plug to plug my hair dryer in! Why can’t you just—”

    (A hand falls on her shoulder from in the room and she’s pulled back inside. Her husband sticks his head out and mouths ‘sorry’ at me before shutting the door.)

    His Room Has Been (Tali)Banned

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Bigotry, Hotels & Lodging, Top

    (I am a security guard at an upscale downtown hotel. I am a Caucasian male and the other employee at the desk is our concierge, a third generation American whose parents immigrated from Iraq. A drunk guest comes in and glares at her. He is also a Caucasian.)

    Guest: “Hey, security!”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Guest: “There’s a d*** Muslim at the front desk. You’d better keep an eye on her or she’ll blow us all to h***!”

    Me: “Sir, that is our concierge. She’s not going to blow up her place of work. Now, I think it’s time you go to your room.”

    (The guest leaves only to return two more times ranting about our concierge. On the third time I inform him to go up or he’ll be kicked out. He does not take it well.)

    Guest: “You’re a d*** liberal aren’t you? H***, you’d probably help her plant the d*** bombs!”

    Me: *to the concierge* “Please call the police. We have a trespasser.”

    (The guest ends up getting into a fight with the police, is arrested, and barred from coming back. The concierge and I begin dating a few weeks later and now, three years later, are celebrating our first anniversary!)

    Related:
    Her Number Has Been (Tali)Banned

    A Perfectly Natural Request

    | Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging

    (I’m an off duty, live-in receptionist who has been called back to work because of a guest complaint that no one seems to know how to deal with. I phone up to the guest’s room.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, I understand you have a complaint about your room. What seems to be the problem?”

    Guest: “Yes, it’s raining too loudly outside, and I can’t fall asleep!”

    Totally Bugging Out

    | VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals

    (It is a hot and buggy day, and a guest enters with her friend. They are talking loudly, and make a beeline for the elevators. With their backs turned to me, I see a large spider hanging on the back of the guest. The guest is oblivious because she keeps talking to her friend, who doesn’t notice.)

    Me: “Excuse me! Excuse me, ma’am!”

    (The guest ignores me and disappears in the elevator.)

    (I don’t think anything of it until a few minutes later; I get a call from her room.)

    Me: “Hello, guest services. How may I help you?”

    Guest: “Yes, you can help me by giving me a refund RIGHT NOW!”

    Me: “What’s the problem, ma’am?”

    Guest: “I’ll tell you what’s the problem! I didn’t pay $200 for a room that has BUGS! I just came back and laid down and then found a BUG on my pillow!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry about that, ma’am.”

    Guest: “You better be! This is outrageous! You all are THEIVES!”

    Me: “Well, I’ll just send the manager up to help you.”

    Guest: “Fine! I’m not lying!”

    (I send the manager up and he comes back later to say that there was a spider on the guest’s pillow. He described it and sure enough, it was the exact same spider the guest had brought in with her from outside. It had crawled into her hair, and got smashed on her pillow! The manager explained this to her, but the guest didn’t believe it, and called us all liars and con artists.)

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