October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Hotels & Lodging

A good hotel prides itself on providing a decent service to all its guests. But when its guests are our stupid customers, there is very little they can do to remedy the situation except pray they’re fully booked the next time they come around!

Under-wear Me Out

| USA | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging

(A guest, an old skinny man, comes down in nothing but boxers. I am female. He’s a long term regular.)

Guest: “Oh… I thought… what happened with that other feller that was here b’fore?”

Me: “He left already. You know, you can’t… um, walk around with nothing on.”

Guest: “I HAVE SOMETHING ON! I’M NOT NEKKID! Oh well, I’d like a wake up call at…” *mumble*

Me: “At when?”

Guest: *suddenly yelling* “AT FAH O’ CLOCK!”

Me: “Five o’ clock?”

Guest: “‘S what I said.”

Me: “Okay.”

Guest: “Well?…You don’t even know which room I’m in?!”

Me: “Room 111 right?”

Guest: *looks dumbstruck* “How…?”

Me: “You stay here every night. I know who you are, Mr. [Name].”

Guest: *nods and wanders off*

(I heard a scream. A young mother and child walking down had seen him, in his underwear.)

Day One: Fine. Day Two: Attempted Kidnapping

, | Gothenburg, Sweden | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Hotels & Lodging

(I’m on my first internship at a hotel restaurant and have received good praise from the boss and the other workers. It’s my second day and since it’s late November, the restaurant is fully booked for various company’s Christmas parties. I’ve just turned 18 and I am legally allowed to serve alcohol to customers. My coworker instructs me what to do and warns me about how ‘free spirited’ the customers can (and will) be. They also tell me that I should report immediately if something happens. The first hour passes by fast and many of the guests are dancing in the middle of the floor. I go to pick up some of the plates from an empty table in one of the corners of the room when someone suddenly grabs my butt. I turn around and see a man around fifty-years-old.)

Me: “What are you doing?!” *I immediately respond and take his hands of my back*

Customer: “Don’t be such a heartbreaker, darling. I was just admiring your behind and couldn’t help myself.”

(He smirks jokingly. To my surprise he doesn’t seem drunk at all.)

Me: “Well, sir, I’m sorry to inform you but I feel very uncomfortable.”

Customer: “Well I have a suggestion that the two of us could move to a more quiet place and maybe get to know each other better.”

(Before I can respond the man proceeds to grab me and drag me out of the room. In my state of panic I catch a glance towards the kitchen door and see, on one of the female coworkers, a shocked face, and how she rushes through the door. The man just reaches the exit when the security chief, a tall and very muscular man, enters through the kitchen doors. He spots the man dragging me out and runs to us.)

Security: “And where are you going with our waiter? I suggests NOWHERE!”

(The entire room stopped and turned to us and the man became pale as a ghost, let me go, and then headed towards the exit. After the man ran away the boss came down and asked if I was all right. I was sent home early to get a good night’s sleep. The scary thing was that the man wasn’t even on the guest list. He had just entered the party without anyone’s permission!)

Service With Room To Improve

| USA | Hotels & Lodging, Money

(I work at a hotel in an affluent city. Property around here goes for millions of dollars.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I want a room.”

Me: “Okay, the rate is [rate].”

Customer: *eyes bug out* “What?! How do you justify that?!”

Me: “Um… I don’t know. The sales department sets the prices, not me.”

Customer: “They must be on crack! It’s four walls! And a bed!”

Me: “Right… So, do you want to rent the room?”

Customer: *starts cursing and swearing* “No, I don’t want the room! I just want to know how you can charge that price!”

Me: “Well, the room comes with free internet, and free breakfast… and free gym.”

Customer: *sneeringly* “F*** the breakfast! Take that room and shove it up your a**! And tell that to the ‘sales’ department, too!” *struts off*

Coworker: “Man, what an idiot. He needs some anger management classes.”

Me: *to Coworker* “He’s going to check the hotel next door and across from us, and be back in fifteen minutes.”

Coworker: “No way!”

(I was right!)

Gotta Give Them Credit For Trying

| Finland | Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers, Money

Me: “Okay, so now that your arrival tomorrow will be after 6 pm, we’d need your credit card details to guarantee for the arrival.”

Customer: “So here’s the number: 123 7881”

Me: “What kind of a credit card is it?”

Customer: “It’s a Visa card”

(All Visas and Mastercards are 16 digits.)

Me: “Are you reading the numbers in front of the card?”

Customer: “Yes. It’s 123 899912”

(I notice that it’s a different number than what he said before.)

Me: “I’m not sure if that’s your library card number or something else but I definitely know it’s not a credit card number.”

Customer: “Oh, you noticed.”

Beam Me Up Some Common Sense

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Hotels & Lodging

(I pick-up the incoming phone calls when my rooms coordinator is out to lunch.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?

Guest: “Is this lost and found?”

Me: “Yes. How may I help you?”

Guest: “Thank god! I left my laptop in my room yesterday when I checked out and I need it back!”

(I knew there was a laptop there that had been found the day before, and that, strangely, it had been left under the bed. After confirming the guest’s name, room number, and that it was really her laptop we had here, I start to explain to the guest that we could arrange for pick-up of the item by her or have it shipped via carrier.)

Guest: “Oh, no, you HAVE to ship it. I’m back in [Next Province Over] and I need it fast!”

Me: “Very well. If you give me your credit card information I can arrange for pick-up by [Carrier] later on today and have it sent express…”

Guest: “No, no, not later on today. I need it NOW!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but even the fastest express delivery service is not going to be able to get it to you in much less than 24 hours.”

Guest: “But you don’t understand! I work at a radio station. All my work stuff is on my laptop and I’m going on the air in 40 minutes, which I CANNOT DO if I don’t have MY LAPTOP!”

Me: *wondering why then, if her laptop was SO vital to her, did she not notice it missing before now* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but until someone makes the Star Trek transporter a reality, the fastest we can get it to you is 24 hours!”

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