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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Home Improvement

    Stupid customers still have to live somewhere. While we applaud them for sometimes wanting to make the place look nice, please don’t assume flat-pack furniture comes ready out of the box, or that power-tools are named as such because they need power! They make Tim The Toolman Taylor look like Frank Gehry!

    Not The Brightest Bulb In The Box

    | South Carolina, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

    Customer: “I would like to return this flashlight.”

    Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

    Customer: “It’s too hard to take apart.”

    Me: “Why did you take it apart?”

    Customer: “I wanted to know if it was easy to take apart.”

    The Customer Is A Fool, Of This I Am Curtain

    | United Kingdom | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

    Customer: *holding a pair of curtains* “Excuse me, will these curtains fit in my window?”

    Me: “I’m not sure Sir. Do you have the measurements of the window with you?”

    Customer: *confused* “Measurements? I need to measure the window? How do I do that?”

    (I hand the man a leaflet explaining how to measure windows correctly.)

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I didn’t realise you had to take measurements. I just guessed it was one size fits all.”

    It Will Be All Right Angled On The Night

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Home Improvement

    (I had dealt with this customer three hours before this phone call to make an 16×20 frame. I’ve given them a copy of the bill so they can see all the information.)

    Customer: “I think the girl who did my order made a mistake! I think she wrote the sizes in backwards.”

    Me: “Backwards? Did she write 61×02?”

    Customer: “No. Were it says ‘width’ she wrote 20, but the width is 16!

    Me: “Did she write 16 as the height ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes! But that means the frame will be longer than wide.”

    Me: “The frame looks the same on all sides ma’am. 20×16 and 16×20 are the same size. All they’ll have to do is turn it 90 degrees.”

    Customer: “They’re smart enough to do that?”

    Some Assembly And Intelligence Required

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

    Me: “Hello, thanks for calling [home improvement store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I just had my shed delivered this morning and you people sent me the wrong size.”

    Me: “Okay, just let me pull up your order here and see what may have gone wrong.”

    Customer: “I don’t know how you people could have messed this up, I clearly ordered a 6×6 shed and I just measured the one you delivered and its clearly only 4×6.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Well, the type of shed we delivered only comes in a 6×6 model. Did you happen to have any parts left over when you finished building it?”

    Customer: “Oh, well I haven’t actually built it yet. But I’ve measured the crate it comes in and it only measure 4×6.”

    Me: “Sir, what does the label on the crate say?”

    Customer: “It says 6×6. But I measured it and it’s only 4×6!”

    Taking A Leap (Year) From The Truth

    | Rothschild, WI, USA | Home Improvement, Money

    Customer: “I bought this heat gun a month and a half ago. I don’t have a receipt. I just want an exchange.”

    Me: “You bought this a month and a half ago? About early June?”

    Customer: “Yes. I just want an exchange.”

    Me: *double checks computer* “Sir, we discontinued this almost a year ago. We sold our last one this past October.”

    Customer: “Maybe it was a little longer than a month and a half…”


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