Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,548 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Home Improvement

    Stupid customers still have to live somewhere. While we applaud them for sometimes wanting to make the place look nice, please don’t assume flat-pack furniture comes ready out of the box, or that power-tools are named as such because they need power! They make Tim The Toolman Taylor look like Frank Gehry!

    Invoking Blind Fury

    | Culpeper, VA, USA | Health & Body, Home Improvement, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working in the area of the store where we have patio furniture and the like. Per my standard style, my hair is pulled up but my long bangs are heavily covering my left eye. I’m helping a little old lady with some patio cushions.)

    Me: “Yes, this style will fit your furniture. It’s UV-stable, so if it’s out for a long time it won’t damage, crack, or fade too quickly.”

    Lady: “Oh, thank you so much! You’ve been just so helpful. Why, it’s so difficult to get straight answers sometimes; everyone’s always in such a hurry!”

    (The customer starts rambling a bit, as older ladies sometimes do. I’m used to this behavior, so I tune out just a bit, and consider when I should take my next break. Suddenly I see the customer reach towards my face, and I tune back in immediately.)

    Lady: “Young people nowadays just don’t know anything! Look at you! Get that hair out of your face! If you leave your hair in your eye like that, you’ll go cross-eyed!”

    (The customer has her hands on my face, and is physically pushing my hair out of my eye. As we’re not allowed to touch customers no matter what, I simply back up. The customer gets aggravated.)

    Lady: “Now come here missy, and stop being so disrespectful!”

    Me: “Ma’am, let me stop you right there. I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t touch me again. Second, if you will let me move my own hair out of the way, you will see that my left eye is severely crossed. I was born with significant strabismus, and can’t see out of that eye. I have never been able to see out of it. I usually have my hair covering my left eye because it often disturbs customers, and they don’t know which eye to look at. So, I don’t think your advice has much weight here, does it?”

    Lady: “Well… you should consider yourself lucky! My niece was born with a cataract! Humph!”

    (The lady walks away, not buying a single thing I have spent twenty minutes helping her pick out. I sigh, put my hair back in place, and decide yes, this is a great time for a break.)

    A Garden Needs A Good Offence

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Home Improvement

    Customer: “Excuse me, I have a ques—oh.”

    (She folds her arms, and eyes me critically.)

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Well, I doubt you would know. You look awfully young.”

    (I am 21, but look younger.)

    Me: “I’m older than I look. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “No, I really don’t think you would know. You look like a d*** little kid!”

    (I raise my eyebrows and stare at her.)

    Customer: “I guess that was a little rude, huh.”

    Me: “More than a little. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Like I said, I doubt it. I like that pink plant over there, but I don’t know anything about it.”

    (I rattle off the plant’s name, sun preference, average height and width, and how often to water and fertilize it.)

    Customer: “Huh! You did know all about it! I just seem to keep offending people today; every time I open my mouth!”

    Me: “Maybe try keeping it shut.”

    Window Pains

    | MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (A tenant in an office building calls the property management office. It’s autumn, and a bit chilly outside. Not every office in this building has a window, but hers does. Tenants pay more for the larger suites with windows.)

    Tenant: “Ever since the heat came on last week, my office has been stifling! Can’t the maintenance do anything?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the office suites do not have individual heat controls. However, I can put in a ticket for maintenance to come and adjust your overhead vent so you don’t have as much warm air coming in.”

    Tenant: “Well how long will that be? I’m dying in here!”

    Me: “Maintenance is usually able to complete their tickets in a day or two.”

    Tenant: “What? He can’t come today? This is completely ridiculous! How do you expect me to work, or see clients? I’m sweating!”

    Me: “Well, in the meantime, you could certainly crack a window. It’s nice and cool outside.”

    Tenant: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I PAY FOR!”

    The Problem Is The Problem

    | NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    Customer: “Hello, I own a house I’m trying to sell. The potential buyer had an engineering inspection done, and the inspector told me to call you to come out.”

    Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Well, we need something to go on here. Do you know what we’re looking for, or where we should look?”

    Customer: “All I know is the inspector told me to call [Utility Name], and have them come out.”

    Me: “Did they say what was wrong?”

    Customer: “No! Why are you making this so hard?”

    Me: “In order to send a crew out to potentially fix something, we have to have some idea what is broken. Also, whatever is broken might turn out to be customer owned, and not our equipment. In that case we will not be able to. Lastly, we need to send different crews for different issues. In order to send the correct people, we need to know what we’re dealing with.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why this has to be difficult! I’m reporting an issue to you, and I need you to come out and fix it. Why can’t you just send somebody out! I don’t understand why this is so hard!”

    Me: “So, let me get this straight. You want me to send out a crew to repair something, but you don’t know what is broken, why you need us to come out, or if it is even an issue on our end, or our responsibility at all?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Fabricate An Excuse Not To

    | Lansdale, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (A customer comes into the fabric store where I work. She is holding a scrap of plain black fabric, about the size of a postage stamp.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I need help. I purchased a few yards of this fabric the other day, and I need more of it.”

    Me: “Okay, do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Do you have the serial number?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Uh, do you know what the fabric was called? Or where you found it?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    Me: “So, you want me to look through every black fabric in the entire store until I find one that looks similar?”

    Customer: “Could you?”


    Page 6/9First...45678...Last